


Rumor Has It

by MizuPhoenix



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben is Stepping UP, Bend The Knee, Cat Fight, Character Death, Custody Battle, Daddy Kink, False Accusations, Finally TALKING like adults, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Held at Gunpoint, Hospitals, Hux is a Good Guy, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Therapy, Mentions of alcoholism, Minor Reyux, Misunderstandings, Multi, One Time Face Slapping (Both parties), Onto the HEA, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Poor Hux, Poor Life Choices, Real World Problems, Remember I promised HEA, Surgery, Temporary relationship, The power of Kneeling finally pays off for Ben, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unreliable Narrator, mention of child death, mentions of considering suicide (Ben Past), reylo is endgame, things are getting better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2019-11-06 15:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 77,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizuPhoenix/pseuds/MizuPhoenix
Summary: Rey Niima had been living a fairy tale. She was working towards her dream job, engaged to the prefect man. Handsome and ridiculously wealthy bachelor Ben Solo wantedher. Everything was perfect. She could not have been less prepared for the bomb dropped into her lap. One lie, one false accusation, and her whole life went up in flames. Left bereft, struggling, she decides to face the monster who ruined her life. She'll make him feel an ounce of the pain he inflicted on her. She just has to be careful not to fall for his lies a second time. Even if her body craves his touch, her mind knows better. If only her heart would listen to reason.Ben Solo had found that which all men searched for. Love. Rey Niima was his Sun. Then in the blink of an eye his hopes and dreams lay in tatters. One lie had ruined everything. How could he have been so blind? By his own hands, the beautiful dream had been twisted and battered into a nightmare. He had to get her back. He had to getthemback. He would dowhateverit took. He has to prove to his Sun that she was his everything. He was going to spend the rest of his life making up for the mistakes he made. He only needed to get her to listen.





	1. Somebody Told Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stories_in_my_head](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_in_my_head/gifts).



> I hope you like what I've done with your prompt. I read it and the soap opera ideas just started pouring out.
> 
> Based on the prompt:  
> Extra Tight Cumbucket (stories_in_my_head): trashy romance plot where rich bachelor Ben Solo falls in love with a young and innocent Rey.  A misunderstanding (or a false accusation against Rey) led to them breaking up. Fast forward a couple of years later and Ben discovers he had a child with Rey, and then discovered everything that was the cause of their break-up was a lie.  He forces Rey into marry him to avoid a custody battle, but it was only so that it will give him the chance to make up for all the hurt he has done. Rey of course thinks this is just his typical high-handed attitude. Can be fluff or smut BUT I would love if Ben grovels in front of Rey and beg for forgiveness, like the heroes of old romance pocketbooks do.
> 
> Oh, I plan to make Ben grovel, don't you worry. Before we get there though, I need to make it (them) _hurt_.
> 
> Beta'd By: the wonderful and talented [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works). Thank you so much for your help with this one!

Everything was too loud- the cheering, the jeering, even the staring burrowed into her skull. Her head felt too full, and her ears felt as if they were a decibel away from bursting. She sat there head bowed, staring at her folded hands and repeated her mantra.

_You can get through this Rey._

Her magic words, the special spell of safety she had always chanted when things became too much. Funny that she had never once uttered those words towards _him_ before everything was burnt to cinders before her eyes. No warning bells, no forewarning, just clear skies and happy smiles. Then came the fire, the lies, the confusion, the _hurt._

“Dameron! Dameron!” the crowd continued to shout.

_You can get through this, Rey._

With a surge of courage, Rey dared to take a surreptitious glance at the man who had shown her heaven and then damned her to hell. He sat in another chair across the stage. His hair was long again, she noted. Long, raven, and wavy. She hated what the change represented. It was just a means for him to hide one of his few _visible_ flaws. Those big, goofy ears. Once upon a time she had adored them. Now those ears were a reminder of what once was, perhaps it was better he kept them concealed.

His eyes were hard, dark amber, and filled to the brim with loathing. She met his gaze and would not back down now. No, she knew the truth, and his judgmental eyes could spend the rest of his life loathing himself. At least, she hoped - for some small modicum of self-loathing was soon to be heading his way. It was only fair after he had ripped her self confidence to shreds. Torn her world asunder. Left her bereft and struggling to function.

_And he’s just sitting there staring at me like I’m a lepper. Jackass._

He looked just as handsome as he had the last time they spoke - well, _screamed_ at each other - she begrudgingly admitted. The smug prick looked like he had not lost a single wink of sleep. She knew her own face had required copious amounts of concealer to hide the bags under her eyes.

Rey was sitting there in the nicest outfit she could afford from Goodwill, while _he_ sat there looking like he had just walked off a photo shoot with GQ magazine. Attached to her former fiance was the she-devil herself - the very bitch who had caused all this drama. She was wearing something that looked painted on, and showed way more skin then could be called classy. Hell, Rey had met women who made their living working the streets that covered more than Bazine Netal was currently sporting.

Yet she had the gall to be staring at Rey's far more conservative - and cheap - outfit with haughty disdain. Her perfectly drawn eyebrow were arched in disgust. Bazine's ‘button' nose, which probably cost more than Rey had made in her entire life, scrunched as if smelling something foul. Her lips were painted a horrible shade of purple that appeared nearly black, and they turned into a smirk that rankled Rey’s skin. Purple was _not_ Bazine’s color.

Her bleach blonde hair was perfectly coiffed, her nails manicured, shoes that cost more than a years rent on Poe and Finn’s apartment on her feet, and a ridiculously gaudy ring was on her hand, catching the stage lights just right more than once. Rey stopped her observation then. Another glint of light pulled her attention to the woman, and Rey noted just where that ring sat on the smug harlot’s hand. Her world came to a halt in that moment, the single moment her body went numb, and she knew the hit would be hard to bear - she relished the numbness in her limbs.

The stab of pain was enough to turn her attention back to her own hands. Specifically one finger. She idly brushed where a ring would be if she had kept wearing it, and burning tears pricked at her eyes.

_You can get through this Rey._

“Alright, my lovelies. Let’s get to the bottom of this little drama,” Poe Dameron cooed to the audience.

Rey raised her head. She knew what that paper in Poe’s hands was going to say. She knew the truth. Poe was the one to encourage her to even come on this stupid show. Well, her friend's show was not stupid, per se. Popular day time Jerry Springer-esque shows - meant to pander to the gossipy stay at home wives and old women, were designed to be that way, all to be well received within that demographic. She knew Poe was chosen to host because of his dashing good looks and charisma. Still, deciding to come onto the ‘Poe Dameron Show,' and go through with this circus, was a stupid idea.

But Rey was nothing if not a woman of her word. She had agreed to go in a fit of pique and fear. Now, here she was, waiting to air her dirty laundry and be judged by the people. At least she was never a part of social media. The twitter mobs could fight to the death over this. The people could gossip and speculate. All she hoped was to cause enough pain that Ben Solo left her and her family alone.

Rey watched as Poe made a show of unfolding the envelope, taking his time to ramp up the crowd. _Can you be doxxed if you don’t have a Twitter account?_

“In regards to the polygraph Miss Niima took,” Poe boomed, “when asked if you had ever cheated on Mr. Solo, you told us that you had not. The polygraph determined you-”

_You can get through this Rey._

Memories flooded her in a flash. All her worst moments since he had ruined her life.

 

* * *

 

“ _What the heck are you talking about?” Rey’s brows crinkled, throwing her hands into the air._

“ _I think you know_ exactly _what I’m talking about, Rey!” Ben shouted, slamming his fist onto the kitchen counter._

“ _No, Ben, I really don’t,” Rey shook her head. She was tired after just getting off her shift at Maz’ Diner. She had yet to tell Ben just why she was so tired lately. But when she finally got to see the look on his face when she paid off that honeymoon package for them it would all be worth it. He probably would not let her leave their bed for a few days._

 _It_ had _been a while. She was just so tired. Well, there was that quickie they had before she had to go to class last week. But that was nothing compared to the hours they could still spend making love, even after being together for two years._

 _ **You can get through this Rey**_ , she thought to herself _. Just a few more weeks_.

“ _So you’re not going to come clean about this? You’re really just going to stand there and keep your fucking trap shut about this?”_

_His words startled her. Rey’s gaze turned heated. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Benjamin Solo!”_

“ _That’s fucking rich coming from you. I know what you’re hiding!”_

_Rey froze on the spot. How had he found out? Maz had assured her she’d keep Ben from finding out. Well, there goes the surprise. “Oh.”_

“ _Oh? Oh! You know what? If that’s all you have to say about your ‘nightly activities’ then we’re done here,” Ben let his hands fall to his sides. His whole body was shaking._

_Rey, while wondering if Han was right in pushing Ben to go to anger management, still wanted to soothe his upset. He knew how much her independence meant to her. She did not want his money, even if he had boatloads. She wanted to make her own impact on the world._

“ _We’re not done talking about this, I thought you might be a little put out, but not this upset-”_

“ _Put out? Fucking hell Rey? Put out? I-I can’t do this. You need to leave. Now!” Ben roared._

_"Seriously? Ben, I have class tomorrow! Where the hell am I supposed to go?"_

“ _I don’t give a fuck. Sleep out in the fucking street for all I care. I can’t believe you would do this to me!”_

“ _What? Is my getting a job really that disgusting of an idea to you?” Rey screamed. “Because if it is I need to know now. I’m not getting a degree just to frame a piece of paper!”_

“ _A job? You’re calling_ that _a job?”_

“ _Well yeah? I mean I know it’s not exactly conventional to_ your _standards!”_

_"Bazine was right, you are really nothing more than a street scavenger!"_

_Rey reeled as if physically hit by his words. “You- take that back right now, Solo!”_

“ _Get out of my house, Niima. Get out of my house, and get the fuck out of my life!” Ben shouted back, pushing off from the counter. He took a few long, menacing strides and leaned down to spit into her face. “You were the worst mistake I ever made.”_

_Rey felt numb. All the anger rushed out of her. She lifted her chin, yanked the ring off her finger and set it on the kitchen island. She felt Ben's eyes on her as she walked towards the back door. She grabbed her book-bag on the way out. Still, she felt nothing. She couldn't risk it right at that moment._

“ _Trusting you was the worst mistake I ever made,” she spoke in monotone as she opened the door._

“ _Trust? You have the gall to talk to me about-”_

“ _Goodbye, Solo.”_

_**You can get through this Rey.** _

_She stepped out of the door, and out of his life._

 

* * *

 

_The connections of the Solo family ran deep. Even with a degree in mechanical engineering, no one would hire her. No one. She had been living on Finn and Poe's couch for the last three months._

_She only had the job at Maz’s Diner. The whole reason Ben had lost his freaking mind was the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Well, afloat was putting it kindly, she felt she was more or less just barely not drowning. Maz had banned all of the Solo’s and their ilk from her establishment in support of Rey. She had appreciated the sentiment. It was somewhere she could go where the whispers and pointing did not follow her every movement._

_She stared at the piece of plastic in her hands, her whole body vibrating. Finn’s arms were wrapped around her shoulders, and Poe was pacing back and forth in front of them._

“ _I’ll wring his fucking neck!”_

“ _You’ve been saying that for months, love,” Finn pointed out._

“ _I fucking mean it this time!” Poe roared. “How the fuck could Solo do this, and treat Rey like garbage? I thought he’d grown out of being a colossal fucking dick!”_

_Rey sobbed. **You can get through this, Rey.**_

“ _Love, can you not? Rey needs us.”_

_Poe spun around, his eyes softening, becoming glossy. “Right! You know we’re here for you, angel face.”_

_Rey only sobbed harder. This was so much worse than just losing everything she had known. How was she going to ever find her footing now?_

_**You can get through this, Rey.** _

 

* * *

 

“ _Peanut, you alright?” Finn knocked on the hospital room door._

_Rey shook her head. She had not been able to speak a single word. Not since- not since her world crumbled. The ground had opened up beneath her and swallowed her whole. Then it, too, found her unworthy and spat her back out again. She was a husk. A hollow body with no soul, no sense._

_Nothing._

“ _Poe and I saw Leo. He’s with him now, so he’s not alone,” Finn offered, sitting beside her on the hospital bed._

_The blankets itched. So did her whole body. Everything hurt. But it all paled to the pain in her own heart._

_Rey barked out a haunting laugh. Hole in a heart._ _Fitting,_ _she thought, her inner voice dripping with venom._

“ _Rey, you’re going to get through this.”_

_Today she was not sure she could believe that line. Not today._

 

* * *

 

_"You need to do this, Rey!" Poe argued while she fed Leo his lunch._

“ _I don’t want to see him again. I don’t need to talk to him. I don’t need, nor want, **anything**_ _from Benjamin Solo,” Rey shook her head. She kept her tone light for Leo’s sake, but she flashed Poe her ‘shut the fuck up’ glare._

“ _You need closure. After everything, you need to close that part of your life. You never will if you don’t get the chance to get answers. Or, at the very least, let him feel even a single fucking ounce of what happened.”_

“ _Revenge is not the answer. You ever read the Count of Monte Cristo? Revenge only ends in misery.”_

“ _Fine. Then do it for me. I’ve wanted to string up Solo by his fucking balls for years. Now I have a legitimate reason to go through with it.”_

“ _Still revenge.”_

_Poe heaved a sigh. "You still cry every night. Please, just think about it. I want to help you, hun."_

_Rey shuddered. She always pushed the pain away until half an hour before she went to sleep. That was the only time she let herself feel the pain of-of everything. Now was not the time. "If I promise to think about it, will you stop bringing it up?"_

_Anything to get him to drop it. She hated crying about this - but crying in front of Leo, no. She would not let her son see her so broken._

“ _Yes!” Poe beamed._

_Rey rolled her eyes. It figured he would act like he had gotten his way. She had no intention of confronting Benjamin Solo. She had enough pain to last a million lifetimes._

“ _Fine.”_

_**You can get through this, Rey.** _

 

* * *

 

_The deciding moment was a chance meeting. Leo was running a fever, and Rey needed to run to the pharmacy to pick up some children’s Tylenol. Poe and Finn had a nice apartment downtown. Being the middle of summer Rey decided to take the bus rather than wait for her ‘roommates’ to come back home._

_As she was crossing the street to the pharmacy, she ran into the man who had taught her the true meaning of the word heartache. On his arm was the woman who had been trying desperately to get herself into Ben’s bed the entire time Rey and Ben had been together. According to Phasma, it had been that way for years before Rey had come into the picture as well._

_Rey held her tongue and tried to pass them both. Having bumped into Ben in passing, she prayed the universe would give her this one kindness. The universe, seemingly interested in how much of a beating Rey could take, was not feeling particularly kind._

“ _Well, look what the garbage man dragged in?” Bazine called._

_Rey bit her lip, intending on just letting the barb roll off her. She’d been through so much worse than being called garbage. A hand on her wrist stopped her in her tracks._

“ _Let me go,” she hissed._

_"Oh look, Benny. We've upset her. And how are you, Rey? I heard you had a kid now. Still working the streets trying to feed the little monster?"_

_Rey froze and her gaze shot to the vile woman. “Don’t you dare speak about my childr- child,” Rey hissed, that familiar pain clenching her heart._

“ _Don’t_ you _talk to my fiance like that, you slut!”_

_The words spilling from the man in front of her had a wave of familiar anger bubbling inside her. She had not felt anger in so long. It was not heart-wrenching agony, so she went with it._

_Her hand shot out and struck his cheek before the red had removed itself from her very being. Rey drew her stinging hand back to her side and stared up at the man - no - the monster, that was the root cause of everything._

“ _You bitch!” Bazine shrieked._

_Ben stood there, frozen. Rey realized the moment his rage had taken hold of him. She braced herself, but even with that second of forewarning, she felt as if she had been hit with a brick when he struck her with his hand. She crumpled to the ground._

“ _I can’t believe I ever saw anything in you,” Ben hissed._

“ _Come on, Benny. Let’s not waste our time with the trash,” Bazine tugged on his arm._

“ _Yes, please, go on and leave me the fuck alone.”_

_Ben’s grin turned dark. “I will, but perhaps I should call child protective services and warn them about a certain unfit mother.”_

_Rey shot up, even though her knee cried out in agony. “You really are a monster.”_

_Ben leaned down, a haughty smirk on his lips. "No, Rey. I'm really not. But, with you, I'll make an exception."_

_She stood there, watching them walk away. Bazine was dragging him along, insisting they were going to be late. Rey stood there for a few minutes, questions she had long forgotten she had swirling around in her head._

_More than that was the rage._

_Ben Solo_ was _a monster._

_And she was going to prove it to him._

_**You can get through this Rey.** _

 

* * *

 

“No!”

The shriek broke Rey out of her musings. She looked over at Poe, and he was offering her a wide smile. She chanced a look at the audience, and the once jeering crowd was now offering her sympathetic looks. Her gaze traveled next to Ben's family and friends sitting in the audience - their mouths open in shock. Finally, her gaze traveled to the monster and his fiancee.

Bazine looked ready to spit out her $500 nails. And Ben-

Ben was unreadable.

 _Monster._ She thought.

“And with that-”

“No! She had to be lying. I have proof she was cheating!” Bazine shrieked.

Rey frowned. _Cheating? I thought this was all because Ben was a controlling monster who didn’t want me to work?_

Poe’s eyes seemed to be practically shining. “Oh! Well then, please share this proof with us.”

Bazine pulled out her phone and scrolled through some pictures. "Here! This is the one. This is Rey, and she is clearly kissing someone who isn't my Benny!"

Poe took the phone from her, glancing at the screen for a moment before remarking to his guests and the audience, “If you’ll give us a minute, I’ll have my tech guys pull these up then.”

Rey felt more lost than she had before this whole day started. Pictures, of her, cheating? She’d never so much as hugged a stranger, let alone kissed someone who wasn’t Ben. She was not much for physical contact, unless it was Poe or Finn. That had always been on the cheek though. _What in the hell is going on?_

After a few minutes, the pictures in question were up on the screen behind them. Rey frowned while examining the supposed evidence. _Why the hell did Bazine even still have these pictures on her phone nearly two years later?_

“Because I’m smart. I knew we were coming on this show and I was not coming empty handed!”

Rey bit her bottom lip. Had she asked that out loud? The pictures cycled through. She kept waiting to see her full face in the pictures, but she never did. Not once. Sure the profile shot was similar. But Rey's nose wasn't that big, was it?

She brought her hand to her nose to feel it, wondering if it _was_ that big. She shook her head. That woman wasn’t her. She’d never cheated on Ben. She never kissed the man in the photos. Clearly, these two knew each other, and sure it looked incriminating, but that wasn't her. Rey felt guilty some nameless man and woman were now having a photo of their rendezvous aired on live television.

_Bazine is a damn harpy. Fitting, the monsters belong together._

“We’ve got the date from the original photo titles. Rey, do you recall what you were doing Saturday the 20th of May in 2017?” Poe asked.

Rey shook her head. “I mean, other than my shift at Maz’s, not really.”

Bazine snorted. “How can you remember what shift you worked? I call bullshit!”

Rey felt fury burn within her. “Maybe if you’d worked a day in your pampered little life, you might know something about it? I worked every weekend shift I could, those were the best nights for tips. Maz was helping me out so I could afford-” Rey stopped talking.

The _monster_ did not deserve answers. That was what she was here for. _Maybe_ a bit of revenge too.

Ben tilted his head to the side. Oddly silent the entire time. “Working? At Maz’s Diner?”

“Yeah, I’d been doing it all of my last semester,” the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them. “But you know tha-”

“Why the hell would you need to work while you were dating _my_ Benny? He can afford anything? Again! Bullshit and lies. Further proof you’re a pathological liar.”

“Big words for a high school dropout, there,” Rey bit out.

“What were you saving money for?” Ben asked her, his voice low and angry.

Rey’s face scrunched into a scowl. Her eyes were hard when she bit out the words, “I wanted to provide something to our wedding. I thought I’d surprise you with a honeymoon I’d paid for myself.”

Bazine threw her head back and chortled. “What could working at a dingy diner get you? A honeymoon in the boonies?”

Rey chose not to answer. “Do you have proof of this?” Poe pressed.

Rey shrugged. “I mean, I put a deposit down for the trip. I never was able to get it back. Should be on my credit card statement.”

"It could be anything! Without proof, she's just making something up to get sympathy from the audience."

Rey wanted to scream, or just get up and leave. _You can get through this Rey. “_ I had no idea Solo even thought I was cheating. I thought he broke up with me because he was upset I got a job. Something beneath him as some corporate hotshot. Forgive me for coming unprepared for this,” Rey spat. “Now the cheating questions make sense,” she added as an afterthought.

She kept glancing at Ben, but he still remained stone-faced. She sent a pleading look towards Poe. ‘No more,' she begged him with a look.

"Well, as fascinating as this all is, the real reason we are here is to find out the paternity of Rey's children."

Rey froze. She stared at Poe as if he had grown another head. He was actively avoiding her gaze. This was not in the script. He was only supposed to mention Leo not-

“Children? You mean the slut has had more than one?”

Rey turned towards Bazine and screamed. “Don’t you ever speak of my little girl like that again, you bitch!”

Rey heard the horrified gasps from the audience. She turned and felt her heart being ripped from her chest. There, before her on the screen, was the only picture she had with her, Leo and Luna together. Her heart was breaking all over again.

It was clear from the image on screen the little girl was sick. Her skin was horribly jaundiced, her skin was saggy, and her body was so much smaller than the little boys. Her little girl.

Rey sobbed. “Luna,” she whispered, reaching towards her.

“Rey, what happened to her?” Poe asked.

She turned to face him, seeing him kneeling before her. He knew, and damn him for even asking. She chanced a look towards Ben who still sat there still as a statue. How could he sit there and look up at the screen and not feel a thing? As much as she had painted him a monster in her mind to get through the day, she had never really believed it.

Now, her heart broke because it was true. Ben Solo was a monster. _Fuck it. Count of Monte Cristo it is._

The rage and pain blended together into a tsunami of emotions that choked her words and spilled tears from burning eyes. She tried to hold them back, both the words and tears, but they were forcing themselves out of her. "She- she was born with a serious heart defect. She-she had a hole in her heart. She was too weak to even be put on the transplant list. She lived for twelve hours, twelve heartbreaking, agonizing hours. I-I couldn't help her. I-I failed her. If I'd been to the doctor more, or, just, been better maybe she'd-"

“Oh no, hun. There was nothing more you could have done,” Poe whispered into her hair. He had set the mic down and had her wrapped in an embrace.

“So her child died? What does that have to do with anything?”

Poe rounded on her, and while reaching for the mic his audience erupted. The jeers were now directed at Bazine. Rey tuned them out, her attention returning towards the picture still on the screen.

"Enough! I think Rey's been through enough," he ripped open the envelope one of his stagehands handed him. "According to the paternity test you took when agreeing to come on this show, Benjamin Solo, you _are_ the father of little Leo and Luna Niima!”

The audience was in chaos. Rey refused to look at the monster’s face. Now he knew. Now he too could shoulder some of the pain. She did feel a bit better.

“You’ve ruined everything!”

Rey looked to the quiet audience, and what she found had a small, vicious, vindictive feeling of glee bubble up inside of her. Perhaps Edmond Dantes had it right, a bit of vengeance did not feel too bad. She would stop here though, no need to be greedy. This was enough.

Poe smirked as he placed his hand back at his side. “Oh, how so, Miss Netal?”

“It doesn’t prove that Rey didn’t cheat!”

That was when a woman rushed the stage. "How dare you! That poor woman's been through hell, and here you are holding onto that! Hell, even I could see those two women aren't the same. Unless the poor girl’s had a nose job!"

Rey watched Poe wave off his security team. “Oh? Well, Rey, have you had a nose job in the last few years?”

Rey shook her head. “How can I afford a nose job when I have a child to take care of? Leo’s all I have left, I’m not wasting money on some frivolous cosmetic crap!”

“It _is_ her!” Bazine insisted.

“Enough!”

_So the monster finally speaks._

“Benny?” Bazine mumbled.

Rey decided to look at him. She felt strong enough to face him now. The playing field felt more level. His gaze was focused on her. “Is it true?”

“What - that I’m a cheating whore according to your fiancee? Or that we had two children?” Rey spat.

“The- the children,” he stuttered.

Rey nodded.

Ben stood, and Rey flinched. In moments, Snap Wexley, Poe's head of security, was standing between Ben and herself. Ben stopped and held up his hands. "I'm not going to hurt her."

“Funny, considering the last time you saw me you hit me so hard I nearly broke my knee hitting the pavement,” Rey hissed.

She could do this. She could face the monster.

She watched him flinch. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know.”

Rey rolled her eyes and held her chin up in defiance. “Oh, so I should just forgive you because you didn’t know? No. You trusted _that_ over me. You took the word of a gold digging skank over your fiance and the mother of your children,” Rey took a deep breath and turned to Poe. “We done here? I think you’ve got more than enough.”

Poe nodded his head. “We can offer counseling-”

“Fuck your counseling, and fuck any idea of reconciliation. I came here for closure. I got it.” Rey turned her gaze towards Ben. “I told you, you’re a monster.”

Ben hung his head. “I-yes, I am.”

With that finished, Rey nodded and walked off the set. Snap stayed by her side. She needed to get Leo and get out of here. Far away from the monster who broke her world. She had wounded him, but she would not fall for his pathetic act. As soon as the cameras were off she was sure the monster would be coming for her. She would not be here when that time came.

Just as she was about to walk into the green room that held Leo and Rose, a hand reached out and grabbed her arm. She whirled around, palm striking against skin.

“Oi! I know I’ve been a bloody prat, but no need for violence, Rey!”

The shock of ginger hair met her gaze first.

“Hux?”

“Hey, Rey. Can we talk?”


	2. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Hux talk. Ben confronts Rey. Rey and co. come up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd By: The super amazing [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works). Thank you so much! Your edits and additions have just made this so much better. I can even begin to thank you for all your help!~
> 
> Moodboard by:[sunshinexxmoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexxmoonlight/pseuds/sunshinexxmoonlight)! Thank you so much for the moodboard! It's absolutely gorgeous. I love the adorable kid pic as well. Just stunning! Thank you so much!~

 

* * *

 

“No,” was her singular reply. Rey’s hand twitched over the doorknob. Not willing to subject her son to any interaction with Hux, she refrained from rushing into the room and locking the door.

That would only leave her and Leo trapped. Rose as well, who Maz had allowed to take off today to watch her son. The bubbly woman and Rey had become fast friends, and Rey trusted her to keep Leo safe and distracted. She craned her neck to look Armitage Hux in his cold ice blue eyes. She opened her mouth to snarl at him, but stopped short.

His eyes were neither cold, nor held even a drop of anger. Regret and sympathy practically oozed from his gaze. Rey’s jaw fell lax. The normally stuck up, pretentious asshole best friend of Ben Solo looked about ready to drop to his knees.

“Rey-”

Weighing the pros and cons, Rey decided if Hux tried anything Rose could deal with him. She had been itching to get her hands on one of Ben Solo’s posse. “Fine.”

Rey opened the door, and her eyes sought out her everything. There he was, sitting in Rose’s lap, black hair mussed while he shook a teddy bear around the air. His attention was drawn to her, and his happy squeals bounced around the small room. Rose tightened her grip on Leo, her smile immediately darkened.

“Rey, you need me to get rid of _him?_ " Rose tilted her head to the red-haired elephant in the room.

Rey shook her head. "No. Not yet anyway."

Hux scoffed a bit, “I’m not going to hurt her-”

“Yeah, because none of you lot has been anything but saintly towards her,” Rose shot back.

Hux held up his hands in surrender. “We took his side, I’ll admit. Some more than others. I’ve always been skeptical, but he’s my best friend. I stayed out of it.”

Rey shook her head and walked over towards Leo's diaper bag. "Good to know you didn't see a need to talk some sense into him. Or get the others to stop treating me like Typhoid Mary."

“Rey-”

Rey cut him off with a glare. “You want to talk? I’m not doing it here. I’m not going to waste more time here. The sooner Leo and I are away from _him_ the better.”

Hux only nodded. “I have a car. I can get you all out of here.”

Rose bristled. “No way are we trusting _you._ This could be some ploy to get Rey and your _friend_ together in some enclosed space.”

Hux straightened the tie on his custom tailored suit. “No, if all this is true, and I’m very inclined to believe it is,” he added after receiving two equally piercing glares, “then Ben is on his own to try and make amends.”

Rey had no desire to allow the monster to ‘make amends'. Maybe - if only he'd come to his senses before she had to resort to a daytime television show. Now that he had been proven a monster on national television, and with the power of the internet, his reputation would be in tatters in a matter of hours.

The wonders of the internet and social media.

Her reputation could be under scrutiny, as well, if she were being honest. Even if the show would not air for several weeks, audience members would be taking to Twitter over this - Rey was sure. In the court of public opinion, Ben Solo was royally fucked. No, any reconciliation now would always bring to question his intentions.

Still, Hux had a car. Hux had always had a way about him. He got things done. He was reliable, even if he could be an insufferable prick about it. "Make it happen," Rey said finally.

If Hux was surprised at her lack of fight, he showed nothing on his face. He nodded and pulled out his phone. Fingers flying over the keys, he turned around to give Rey a moment of privacy. She walked over to Leo and felt the pain ease when he reached his chubby arms out to her.

She lifted him into an embrace and breathed in the scent of his hair. Why babies smelt so soothing she had no idea, but being around Leo could ease the worst of her panic attacks. She would not question this one gift horse in the mouth. She pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, and swore to herself she would never allow her son to turn into the beast his father had become - or always had been. The jury was still out on that one.

 

* * *

 

“I’m surprised you sent your guard dog away,” Hux commented over his steaming cup of tea.

Rey snorted. “If you think that anyone here will let you do anything to me, you’re grossly mistaken.”

A neutral ground, if ever there was one, Maz’s had to be it. So they sat in a booth together in the back of the 50’s style diner. The pale yellow paint offered a cozier environment than a park or Poe’s apartment.

"I don't doubt it," was his smooth reply. With a quirk of his eyebrow, he studied her. "So, you had no idea about the lies Bazine was spreading about you?"

“Right into things, Hux? I thought you’d dance around the idea for a few minutes at least. Make small talk, try and get me comfortable.”

“Rey, we both know none of that would work. Best to rip off the bandage right away.”

Rey could admit she was thankful Hux did not seem interested in dragging out the awkward pleasantries. "No, I had no idea. The fight we had, Ben never came right out and said it or accused me. Looking back, he alluded to it, but since I’d never do that the thought never crossed my mind.”

"So, when you fought, you thought he'd shown his true colors as a controlling, misogynist asshole," Hux surmised.

“Yup,” Rey said with a light pop of the ‘p’ for emphasis.

“Hindsight is 20/20. I do wish you’d have talked to any of us. We could have helped, _I_ would have helped you,” Hux reached across the table towards her hand and Rey recoiled. Hux seemed to notice this and held his hand up in yet another surrender.

“When Phasma cornered me a week later going to class, to tell me how wrong she was about me...” Rey shook her head, “she made it clear how you all felt about me. I might have called him to talk about it. After that, I made up my mind. I was done with the Solo’s, and all his ilk.”

“No offense taken.”

"I didn't-"

“No, I deserve that. Truth be told, we all do,” Hux’s ice blue eyes misted over, “what you went through-”

Rey tried to feed into the burning rage she had been feeling, but already it was being drowned out by the familiar pain. “Don’t,” she choked out.

Hux nodded his head, “Of course. Whatever you want, Rey.”

“Hah! What I want is to get as far away from Ben Solo as I can. I’m not going to let my guard down. He once threatened to call CPS to inform them I was an unfit mother. That was before he realized my child was his.”

Hux frowned, and for a few minutes, they sat together in silence. Rey cast a look towards the back of the dinner. Through the kitchen, sitting in Maz's office with her, was Leo. Maz would never let anything happen to her son. While she felt comfortable enough that she sent Rose home, she was still worried about Leo. She was giving Hux the one thing none of them gave her.

The benefit of the doubt.

“You’re not wrong to be worried. I would not put it past him to do something rash and stupid right now.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Rey glared at Hux.

“No. I’m not going to do you the disservice of lying to you,” came his soft reply.

“Funny, considering-”

“Rey...” the soft tone stopped her short. She blinked while regarding the pained look in his eyes. Hux was in pain, curled up around himself like a wounded animal. “I can never make up for the pain and suffering you went through.”

Rey let out a derisive snort. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“But I _can_ help you now. Whatever you want, whatever you need. You ask it and I’ll do it!” Hux slammed his hand down onto the table, making her jump slightly. The vehemence of his pledge took her breath away, but his eyes shining with a mix of anger, promise, and regret was the final nail in the coffin for her unbridled rage.

“I...” Rey swallowed, her emotions lying in a tattered ruin on the spotless floor of her only safe haven the past two years. “Let me take some time. I- it’s been-”

“Of course. You still have my number, right?”

Rey nodded. “I do.”

“Anytime you need me, you call me. I’ll come running.”

Rey could feel the sincerity of his words. The intensity gleaming in those baby blues was enough to steal away her over-cautious nature. The question of why Armitage Hux would be acting this way rattled around in her brain like a loose marble. She kept the question to herself for now.

_Gift Horse, mouth. Don’t look._

"Okay,” she agreed.

 

* * *

 

For a week, Rey acted on autopilot. The sense of routine, of normalcy, gave her a modicum of peace. She was getting through this hell, and finally, there was a hint of light at the end of the road. She had been texting Armitage every night, just to see if his mind had changed about her. As of yet he neither pushed the Solo issue, nor pushed her away. She was still wary of trusting him, but he had yet to betray the tentative truce they had.

Then, while working her usual Saturday shift, _he_ walked into Maz’s Diner.

Rey paled instantly seeing him standing there under the neon sign. Maz had already gone home for the night, so there would be no elderly Chinese lady screaming that the man was not welcome. Stan was in the back of the house working on paperwork in the office, and Rose was off today.

Rey was, for all intents and purposes, alone.

Yet, at the same time, she was not. Ben’s caramel eyes locked onto her, and he crossed the diner's floor. He cut an imposing figure as he towered above her. His eyes were soft, even as his hands reached for her. Rey flinched, taking a large step back.

“Rey, can-can we talk?” Ben whispered.

“I think you’ve said more than enough already,” she hissed, glaring at him.

"Rey..." Ben looked down to his feet, which were shuffling in place nervously.

“No, Solo. I’m working, and you’ve been banned from this establishment. I suggest you leave before I call the authorities,” Rey kept her voice firm, even if inside she was trembling.

"What? Maz and my father have known each other since he was a teen. Hell, I've known her since I was an infant," Ben argued, his head shooting up to fix her with a confused stare.

“Maz takes the safety of her employees seriously. You’re not welcome here, Solo. Leave.”

“Rey, don’t do this. I just want to talk.” Rey watched as Ben ran his hands through his hair.

He looked like a mess. There was a beard in the making on his normally bare chin. His eyes mirrored her own, with dark circles that she was intimately acquainted with every morning in the mirror. His clothes were not neatly pressed like usual, in fact, they were more rumpled than straight. His hair looked like it hadn’t gone through his thirty minute morning treatment for at least a few days.

Instead of feeling sympathetic to his plight, Rey only felt anger. He could have made an effort in his appearance if he planned on inserting himself into her life again. No, instead he was here, in her one safe haven, putting on a show of how pathetic he was now.

_Monster. Murderous Snake._

“Well, I don’t. Go talk to your fiance. You seem to take her council so seriously.”

Ben flinched, and Rey felt a smug sense of vindictive pleasure at his reaction. “Rey, that isn’t fair.”

Rey shook her head. “I don’t think you have any inkling as to how unfair life really is, Solo. Get used to it. Life sucks, then you die,” she sneered.

“I-I don’t want to fight.”

“Then you’re either delusional because _I’m_ going to put up one hell of a fight. Or, you’re an idiot for entertaining the idea I might consider even trying to _anything_ with you. So which is it, Solo? You delusional or stupid?"

She watched Ben bristle. There he was, the monster hiding just out of sight. “Rey, we have a child together. We need to at least talk about it.”

Rey shook her head and gave a laugh. “Leo has no father. I didn’t put one on his birth certificate. You’re nothing more than an unfortunate sperm donor.”

Ben's eyes began to blaze. "No, I'm not. I'm his father, and we need to talk about this!" he roared.

Rey cast her gaze around the relatively empty diner. Considering they were half an hour from closing time, there were not many patrons left. A younger couple sat together on the other side of the diner, and there was an older gentleman at the counter. Other than that Rey was alone. The young couple did seem to be wielding their cellphones. The girl was moving her fingers in a flurry of text, and the boy was holding his phone up, and most likely recording everything.

Great, and now Ben was causing a scene. Just what she needed today.

“No, Solo, we don’t. You said it yourself - you wanted me out of your life. You got your wish.”

“I didn’t know, Rey! If I did-”

“And, I’m going to stop you there. When did I become Rey again, Solo? I thought I was Niima, or Scavenger, or Trash, or Slut?” Rey placed her hands on her hips and tilted her chin. Name calling felt pedantic, compared to the agony of going through the loss of one of her children alone.

Ben backed away as if slapped. Seems like Ben Solo had yet to realize there were worse things than a ruined reputation. As if that was all he had done to her? “I-I-I, Rey, I, I was angry. I thought-”

“I don’t give a flying flip what you _thought,_ Benjamin. You broke my heart and ruined my life. All because some gold digging slut made you believe the worst of me," Rey yelled, feeling the familiar prick of tears. Only these weren't filled with pain, no, the rage had returned. She welcomed it with a loving embrace.

“I-”

"I should thank her. She let me see the monster behind the mask. At least I found out before I made the mistake of marrying you. So, tell your little gossiping, gold-digging girl I sincerely thank her. She can have you. You two deserve each other."

Ben took a step closer, and this time Rey held her ground. She stared up at him defiantly, unwilling to let him back her into a corner now. “Bazine and I are no longer together.”

Rey smirked, her voice dripping with vitriol as she replied. “Pity, she was probably the only woman stupid enough to give herself to you.”

“I know you’re angry-”

“No, Solo. You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through or what I’m feeling!”

“I would if you’d talk to me!”

“No. I’ve had enough. Leave now or I’ll call the cops!”

Ben’s grimace turned dark. “You do that, and I’ll tell them you are denying me access to my son. You think you can win full custody over me? I have an army of lawyers, and I am far more financially stable. You don’t want this fight, Rey.”

Rey reeled back as panic began to seep in. She gave herself a mental shake - she could panic later. She would not show weakness before this man. "Don't go this way, Ben. You won't like the consequences." Rey said quietly.

Ben snarled. “I can’t believe you’re still holding on. Let go! I can’t fix things if you won’t even try, Rey. You’re not giving me many options.”

“What about the options you gave me that night?” Rey pressed.

Ben fell silent. After a tense minute where she would not break eye contact, Ben relented. His caramel eyes flashed with hurt. “This isn’t over, Rey, not by a long shot.”

Rey held her tongue as she watched him leave the diner. Gripping her chest, the tears pricked at her eyes, threatening to fall. She could not keep her hands steady, even while she reached into the pocket of her apron for her phone. She nearly dropped it twice while scrolling through her contacts.

Rey listened to the phone ring while watching the young couple and the older gentlemen pull out cash, both of them setting enough to cover their bills on the counter, before they all walked towards the door, standing in front of it while they prepared to go out into the cool night air. A silent barrier of their backs turned towards her gave her privacy while ensuring the monster outside had to go through them to get to her. It was a small comfort.

When she heard the ringing stop, the first tear fell as a clipped British accent reached her ears. “Rey? Is Dameron not able to get you? Do you need me to pick you up from work?”

The soothing, calm tone of his voice was all it took to shatter her composure.

“Armitage,” she whimpered, “Help me.”

“I’m on my way.”

 

* * *

 

“That son of a bitch!” Dameron whisper yelled.

“Love, Leo’s sleeping!” Finn urged.

“That’s why I’m whispering,” he shot back.

Rose stood by the door, swinging a wooden bat into her open palm. “I hope that asshat just tries to get in here. I’ll beat his ass.”

Rey sat on the couch, Finn wrapped around her left side, Hux on her right. “What do I do?”

“You can fight him, right, Hux? You’ve got just as much clout and money as that fucker. You’ll get her an army of lawyers. Not just any army, a better one!” Poe was still pacing the living room of the apartment.

“I could, and I will - if Rey wants to fight this-”

“Of course she wants to fight!” Rose snarled.

"No, I meant-"

“You aren’t suggesting she try and negotiate with that asshole!” Poe growled.

“Love, I think you should hear him out,” Finn - ever the voice of reason - said, voice firm.

“Thank you, Finn. Rey has another unique out here,” Hux offered.

This had Rey's attention. Resourceful Hux was a terror in the boardroom. Getting through even the tightest contracts with loopholes was a special talent of his. She'd heard it enough from Ben during their relationship. "What?" Rey asked, her voice nearly breathless with hope, panic waging war within her mind.

"You have dual citizenship. You were born in the UK, but your father was from the U.S. You could always return to England," Hux offered.

The room fell into silence, no one even daring to breathe. “You, think that might work?” Rey asked.

“Well, it’s not a permanent solution, but it could give us time,” Hux gave her a strained smile. “Time we don’t have. Ben, well, you’ve seen him. He’s gotten worse since everything...” Hux let his voice trail off. “He’s always had anger issues, and been a rash idiot, but lately it’s been worse. Ever since the show, he’s been spiraling out of control. No, even before that. He’s been losing himself ever since you two fought and split up.”

Poe snorted. “I don’t know if he’s ever been right in his head.”

Hux shook his head. "When he was with Rey, he was. You grounded him, Rey, and without you, he's lost. He needs help, but after tonight I'm not sticking around to give it to him. You need me more," Hux swore, his arms tightening their embrace and pulling her closer.

“Thank you,” Rey whispered to him.

“I told you, anything you need.” Hux answered, his voice soft and tender.

Finn coughed, the air suddenly filling with awkward silence. “So, you take a trip. You, Leo, and Hux.”

“Why Hux?” Poe wondered out loud.

“Because, I am still a British citizen. I’m here on a work visa. I have a family estate that Rey and Leo are more than welcome to use. You two will want for nothing. I’ll keep you safe, and together, while we figure this out.”

Rey thought over Hux's suggestion. It was a sound option. The fear she felt from Ben's vague, but very real threat, still simmered under the surface. Hux could give her time, make sure she and her son were safe. She was not sure how much she could trust him, but she had little in the way of options.

“So either we run, or stay here and risk Ben trying to take my son from me.” Rey said softly.

Hux nodded in answer. “Though I’m not entirely sure he just wants Leo. If he’s not completely incompetent, he realizes you’re the best thing that ever happened to him. Losing you nearly destroyed him. I would not put it past him, that he means to get you back as well.”

“Oh fuck that!” Rose snarled. “That jerkass is _never_ going to use his son to worm himself back into Rey’s life.”

“He might,” Poe growled. “Solo’s stupid enough to try it.”

 

* * *

 

_Ben held her in his arms, both of them sweaty and a tangled mess of limbs. He let out a long, deep laugh, his entire body shaking. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, Rey.”_

_Rey grumbled. “I don’t like it. Everywhere we go women just look at you and treat me like I’m nothing.”_

_"Awww, Rey, you know you're not nothing, not to me. Who cares if those vapid harpies want you to mean nothing, be no part of the story of my life? You're it, Rey, you're how my story ends."_

“ _That’s either really morbid, or sweet.”_

“ _Mmmm, well_ I’d _go with sweet,” Ben purred, his hand trailing up and down her spine. His fingers moved achingly slow, trailing over each vertebra._

“ _Fine, it’s sweet. But I still don’t like it.”_

“ _Fair enough. Just know, I’ll always come for you. I’d follow you across the world, to hell and back. You’re mine, Rey, and I’m yours.”_

“ _Okay, now_ that’s _borderline creepy.”_

_Ben huffed out another laugh. “Only difference between a stalker and a lover is the relationship status.”_

“ _You’re insane.”_

“ _Love makes people do crazy things.”_

“ _I love you, too, you nutter.”_

“ _Always and forever, Sunshine.”_

 

* * *

 

The memory hit her like a train.

A cacophony of emotions swelled up inside her. Confusion, anguish, fear, and just a hint of nostalgic happiness for a time before everything fell apart. She tried to inhale air to her suddenly deprived lungs. She felt Hux and Finn tense beside her, probably alerted to her steel rod of a spine.

“He won’t stop,” Rey whispered, hands curling into fists and pressing into the knotted mess that was her stomach.

Hux ran his hand through her hair, a soft motion meant to calm. All it served to do was remind her of how kind and gentle Ben had once been towards her. “Rey, I’ll keep you and Leo safe.”

While her head nodded in understanding, a small part of her knew the truth. No matter what anyone did, Ben Solo was coming for her and her son. She could run to the ends of the earth and he would find them. She could only hope whatever time they were able to steal would be enough to arm them against him.

“Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder if anyone will notice what I'm doing yet? (It doesn't have anything to do with the story per se...just a little...thing I'm doing each chapter.)  
> Bonus points to the first one who points it out. And no MyJediLife you can't say anything, I've already told you my little trick.~


	3. When I Was Your Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time Skip: Ben reminisces on his **many** mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my lovely Beta: Without you, this fic would not be nearly as amazing as it is. I bow to your greatness! You should all check out her work. [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) you are so amazing!
> 
> Liv, I'm hoping you're still loving this.

_Two Years Later_

Every day for the past three and a half years there had been a void inside Ben Solo. Heir apparent of Leia and Han Solo, corporate big shot, eligible bachelor, and self-destructive twat. The ache left in Rey’s wake never lessened, it only grew and festered into something monstrous. At least, until he was somewhat forced to seek help.

God help him, but he _ached._ Physically, mentally, and harshest of all, emotionally. Nightmares plagued his sleep, while his misplaced cruelty replayed on loop during the day. His pain even radiated in his outward appearance. Everything was moot. His Rey had suffered far more than he had. He castigated himself under the burden of blame and pain - it was palpable, almost. Why had he let this happen?

_Fuck the universe, and the cruel vestiges of fate,_ he somberly thought to himself.

Ben stared listlessly at the computer in front of him. Letters jumbled together into an unintelligible mess within his mind. His family was a torrid of varying opinions on his life. His mother worried he was overworking himself. His father thought he was an idiot for not dropping everything and running after Rey the minute he could. Phasma thought they were all getting what they deserved for hurting Rey so deeply. His Uncle Luke, well, his Uncle had done more for him than Ben could have ever hoped. Luke was at least proud that he was making an effort.

Ben remembered the night everything had changed.

The moment he found out Rey had fled the country, Ben had lost all sense of anything. Drinking himself into a stupor, trashing his home, and making the ‘wise' decision to try and drive himself over to the apartment she had been sharing with Dameron and Storm, had ended with his car wrapped around a tree. Whether by some miracle - or a cruel twist of fate - he had survived. Relatively unscathed as it was, a serious injury might have been a kindness. Physical pain to go along with his emotional pain seemed more than fitting. But, all he had to show for his anguish was a long scar running from his eye, down to his jaw and ending at his left pectoral muscle.

Nothing mattered to him. Not his friends, not his family, not his job. He deserved all the pain the Universe could throw at him.

While his family had gathered around him, eyes full of sympathy, there was one who stood out among them. His Uncle Luke. The former doctor turned holistic hermit had stayed with him the entire time Ben was hospitalized. When they were alone, Luke had lit into him for hours. The topics varied but it all came to one significant point - Ben had fucked up, royally. Luke berated him over his treatment of Rey, his out of control rage, and his very poor decision making skills of late.

Ben found himself checked into a rehab facility before he fully understood what was happening. At first, he was furious - how dare his Uncle treat him like some out of control mess? Then, when the episode of ‘The Dameron Show' aired, he watched it in the white itchy outfit given to him and finally broke down.

He started therapy that day.

Dr. Kalonia still continued to see him, despite the fact he was no longer a patient of Resistance Rehab. Ben chuckled idly at the apt name. They specialized in more aggressive and severe cases of substance abuse and victims of trauma. While Ben was technically neither, his mother had pulled a few strings to get him in as a patient. He later found out that Han and Luke had agreed on the intervention, and had convinced his mother to stop ‘babying' him.

He was thankful, if not utterly humiliated.

He had missed most of the Twitter war that had raged against him. Quite frankly, the whole debate was a moot point. He had fucked up, no matter Rey’s faults in the situation - it was ultimately his hand that had dealt the death blow to their relationship. Then he and his family and that evil witch had gone above and beyond. They had been cruel, for no other reason than protecting one of their own that they believed had been so deeply wronged.

None of them could have been farther from the truth.

Only Hux had remained neutral. His best friend had urged him to contact Rey. To see reason, and not listen to the harpy at his side. Ben’s brilliant blunders, though, knew no bounds. Drinking himself into a stupor and nursing his anger and betrayal - Ben had been weak. He had been in pain, and he had been weak. Giving into Bazine had seemed like the right thing to do, and Ben knew that at the time, he had been far too tired to fight her off day after day, and then he just never got rid of her. Bazine had been like a cancer - silently growing until she was all encompassing and too large to remove easily.

Nothing had mattered to him after losing Rey the first time. Because, despite his doubts and fears, he still felt that somehow he had lost her. Ben had done something to turn her from his side - he must have! She had always been loyal, so he had to have been a monster to make her run from his arms. So, Ben embraced that monster for all it was worth - the hurt and rage - and fueled it by drinking himself stupid every night.

He kept drinking. He kept fucking that manipulative cunt. He proposed to her on a whim after hearing Rey had a kid from Hux. That was another low for him. His rage, his drinking, his hurt, they all festered under Bazine Netal’s careful watch. He had been a fucking idiot not to see the truth, or a drunk - or, as it turned out - _both_.

Hence the rehab.

Therapy helped him see he had become a -barely- functioning alcoholic since that horrible night. His family stayed out of the way - because he had pushed them away. No one had been there enabling him, or offering him help. They were all lost in their own issues over the situation, a situation that Ben had created and drug each one of them into.

Rey was the only one other than Hux who ever really fought for him. Hux had been ambivalent towards him on a good day, and he had been downright disgusted when Bazine started hanging around.

In his broken state without Rey, Ben had just wanted to be alone. He sought no one out, and no one tried to be there for him. Finally, he was weak enough for the harpy to strike. She came to him, and slowly eased her way into his life. Bazine had enabled his drinking, encouraged his rage, and kept pouring salt into the gaping wounds in his heart. Soft, innocuous comments whispered to him in drunken embraces, planting seeds of deceit deeply in his brain, those were things Ben never would have noticed without outside help and introspection.

It was a long con pulled by a master manipulator, and it worked.

He had learned several things about himself and his infinite mistakes in the last two years. All of his progress was made in the vain hope that one day he might see Rey again, and be able to make amends. Dr. Kalonia cautioned him against making a goal reliant on another person, but Rey and their son Leo was all he wanted. It was all Ben had ever wanted, to the point that the thought of losing her again had driven him into a rage so deep and terrible that he wasn’t sure he could ever pull himself out of it. With his own actions and words, he had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. Ben didn’t know if he would ever forgive himself for it.

So, he agreed to give Rey time. Time to heal, time to mourn. Time to get herself some help. It was the least he could do for her.

The aged technophobe and recluse that doubled as his Uncle had done what no one else could. Luke had found Rey, and been able to reinsert himself into her life. For that alone Ben would forgive his Uncle everything in their past. All their disagreements and the anger he once felt was petty in comparison to this one action.

Luke refused to let him see her, of course.

 

* * *

 

_"You think I'm going to expose her to you again? She's still getting help for her postpartum depression, as well as the PTSD from losing her daughter. **Your** daughter. No, Rey needs space, and you need to get your head out of your ass,” his uncle declared._

_Ben was surprised his uncle was using a laptop to contact him. If it were any other situation he may have found the situation hilarious, and would have pointed this out to him. As it stood Uncle Luke was the only person he had that could one day help him see Rey again._

“ _Then can I send you a letter for her? I’m doing the steps and I need to make amends, and apologize.”_

_His uncle sighed. “Yeah, I can give it to her. Can’t make her read it, though. We both know no one makes Rey do anything she doesn’t want to...”_

_The words hung in the air, and Ben **knows**. Except him. Rey was right, he **was** a monster. He was getting better, though, and she deserved to know how deeply sorry he was. How much his actions were undeserved, and he would spend the rest of his life making up for these mistakes._

“ _Can I email it to you?”_

“ _I don’t even have a laptop, Ben! Why would I need a damn email?”_

“ _Then whose are you using?”_

 

* * *

 

There had been another revelation that had set Ben’s blood boiling. Not only had his actions turned his oldest and dearest friend from his side, but his action had also driven Rey into his arms. Rey had fled the country with Hux. If he had not agreed to give Rey space beforehand, after a particularly enlightening therapy session, he might have flown across the pond to separate them.

He grimaced as he remembered the email Hux had sent him.

_Dear Colossal Fuck Up,_

_I am tendering my resignation - effective immediately. It has come to my attention you are not the man I thought you were. I can’t fathom a professional relationship with you when I want to punch your face until you resemble the piece of human garbage you’ve become. Now I’m sure after nearly six months you’ve become aware that I left the country - I know you were otherwise occupied._

_Don’t come after me, and don’t come after Rey. Not until you resemble something closer to human than monster. You_ were _a good man once, Solo. For that reason alone I’m not acting on my feelings._

_I’ve loved Rey from the minute we met. I’m sure you remember, you fell for her too. While she chose you, I can’t help but wonder if we’d all have been happier if I’d not stepped back and let you pull ahead with her affections. For the years we’ve known each other, for the man you_ once _were - I’ll give you two years. Or until Rey peruses me on her own, it_ could _happen, you know. I’m not so bad._

_She’s doing alright, and so is Leo. Your uncle told me you’re going through the steps and you have a letter for Rey. You can email it to me, and I’ll forward it to her. Whether she reads it or not is up to her._

_I shouldn’t tell you this, everything in me as a man in love with a woman is demanding I stop typing and delete this line. A part of Rey still loves you. Or rather, the man you were before you became the monster._

_So, get your shit together for the woman you claimed to love, and your child. Or give up and let them be happy with me. I’m good with either, honestly. I do have a preference, but you can come to your own conclusions on that. We both know you will._

_The Better Man,_

_Armitage Hux_

Ben had very nearly gone to England to search for her the minute his frenzied brain finished understanding the words before him. He managed to stop himself, but only just. That had been a year and a half ago. Even reading it now there was an ever present niggling in his brain urging him to go to Rey. To get back the woman he never stopped loving, even when she had broken his heart. Or he believed she had.

According to his own self reflection - that was why he was so harsh with her. So cruel. That, and the alcohol. She had broken his heart, his trust, like no one before and no one since. Yet still he ached for her, loved her, and a much larger part than he was willing to admit to at the time needed her. He had meant it when he claimed she was his everything. She was, and always would be.

Losing her had been his breaking point.

How could he have been so blind not to see his own best friend pined after the woman he meant to spend his life with? Hux had never had a relationship in the two years he and Rey had been together. Or at least not one that lasted longer than a third date. Of course, Hux would fall for Rey. Everyone loved Rey.

Everyone except Bazine Netal.

Bazine. The thorn digging into his ass, who could _not_ let go. High school was years before. While he had made _that_ mistake in his youth, and again during his year-long drunken stupor, he had hoped she’d take the hint and leave him the hell alone. She hadn’t, and while Ben knew he held a large sum of the blame, so too did Bazine.

She had prayed on his fears masterfully. How the brain dead bimbo had learned to be a master manipulator, Ben had no idea. Though he’d very much fantasized about punishing the one responsible for her faults repeatedly. If this was just a product of Bazine’s talent, all the better for him. He would rain down vengeance upon her for her part in Rey and their children’s suffering.

 

* * *

 

_He could not believe what was on the little screen of the phone. There was no way. None! Rey would never do this. She loved him, she was his everything. No, there had to be some mistake. Thoughts swirled through Ben’s mind as he stared at the device in his hands._

“ _What kind of shit are you trying to pull_ now, _Netal?” he hissed._

_Bazine gave him what had to have been the most unappealing pout he had ever seen. How could an act regarded as cute by most people become horrifying? “I’m trying to show you what your fiance has been up to the past few months.”_

_Ben felt his eyes widen with shock. Sure, Rey had been busy, but she waved his questions off with a smile and a glint in her eye. She had been planning something. He assumed it was meant to be a surprise, so he hadn't pushed her on it. Could she have been?!?...No! "And just how did you find out about this?" Ben demanded._

_Bazine laughed, the noise grating and artificial on his ears. "Oh, you know how girls talk. I heard she had been messing around from one of my friends. Of course, I had to know for sure. If she was cheating on you I just could **not** let that stand."_

_Cheating. Was Rey cheating on him?_

“ _Of course, this could be a misunderstanding. I’m **sure** you would have noticed if she was becoming distant. Or at least less interested in you sexually.”_

_She was right. Rey had been distant lately. Other than a few days ago when he surprised her with shower sex before she had to go to class, they had not been very intimate in the last few months. Four, if he remembered right. “How long?” the words came out strained, dark thoughts swirling in a mire in his brain_

_"Well, Ana said she found out about it about four months ago. Could have been longer."_

_The timelines fit. She **had** been coming home late. She was being evasive about where she had been. Their intimacy had dwindled to almost nothing unless he initiated. This...this had to be a nightmare. There was just some sort of mistake._

“ _Look at the picture, Ben. I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s her. You can even see the ring on her finger if you look really close.”_

_Ben stopped short, pulling the phone closer and squinting so he could see the picture better. He stared at the photo hard. It was grainy. Considering it was taken at night, and Bazine had probably been trying to remain unnoticed he did not expect crystal clear quality. He flipped through the photos until he landed on one where the woman had her hand buried in the other man’s hair._

_It was a passionate kiss to be sure. And there it was - the little glint from a diamond reflecting off the light from the street lamp. He could not be sure it was his grandmother Padme's ring or not._

_But now he felt doubt. His thoughts turned even darker._

_He needed to speak with Rey. He needed to calm the hell down first though. Going in half cocked and full of rage was sure as shit going to make this worse. It **could** still be a misunderstanding._

“ _I’m sorry Ben. I didn’t want it to be true.” Bazine said, trying to make her voice sound caring and soft._

_Ben snorted. He seriously doubted that. He tore his gaze away from the damning picture, and was shocked at the sincere look of sympathy Bazine was directing towards him. “Maybe one day you’ll realize all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy,” she purred._

 

* * *

 

Ben groaned, covering his face in his palms. Of course he had been worried, he was terrified everyday that Rey would wake up and realize he would never be good enough for her. He was beginning to worry about their sex life, or lack thereof, and had even lamented to Hux and Phasma about it.

That, as it turns out, had been his downfall. He had trusted his friends with that information, and that was how that traitorous bitch had found out about it. Bazine had caught Phasma while she was hammered - after they were all celebrating a successful business deal that none of them had been sure they would have been able to acquire. Phasma had spilled the beans on accident, and Bazine had plotted.

He hoped the bitch would get hers for her part in this mess. He’d see to it himself. _After_ he had made amends with Rey. She was the priority. She should have _always_ been his priority. Her, Leo, and his precious daughter, Luna.

 

* * *

 

“ _You made it all up!” Ben screamed._

_Coming home after his fight with Rey in the diner, he found Bazine had yet to get her shit and get the fuck out of his penthouse apartment. He had told her he wanted her gone from his life after the end of Dameron’s show. Yet here she was, come to make an already disastrous night even worse._

_He’d have found it poetic if he hadn’t been absolutely livid. He needed a fucking drink. He poured himself a scotch straight and downed it. He filled his glass and downed it once more before her grating voice grew until he could no longer ignore her banshee wails._

“ _I won’t let you go. I won’t give up on us,” she screeched._

“ _Don’t you get it? There is no_ us. _There never really was an us. It was all based on a fucking lie! If not for your lies I’d be with Rey, happily married with my son,” his thoughts stopped._

“ _If you want a brat so bad then I’ll give you one!” Bazine snapped._

_Except Ben didn't really hear her. Sure, he heard her words, but they could hardly be registered when his thoughts started spiraling into the abyss of pain he had become accustomed to. Either it was the booze, or his damning thoughts, causing the room to spin out of control._

_What if's began to fly dangerously around his mind. If Rey had not been suffering so much mentally, probably working herself to the bone to make a living, would her pregnancy have been easier? Would she have had access to better health care had Phasma not interceded and blacklisted her former friend out of a sense of vengeance? If he had just believed in Rey, she'd still have had access to his insurance. Would someone have been able to catch the problem sooner and fix it? He would have flown in the best doctors to help Rey and his little girl._

His little Luna…oh. Oh god! My baby girl is dead! _The weight of his realization caused him to stumble. His whole body trembled with the realization that his daughter, his little angel whom he never even gotten to see or got the chance to hold, had died. Slipping from his fingers before he was even aware of her. She was dead, and this bitch was offering to give him a child like some sort of consolation prize?_

_Anger and pain roared to life inside him, battling for dominance._

_"Benny, please! We can work this out. You have to listen to me!"_

Anger it is then.

_Ben barked out a humorless laugh. The sound hollow, with sharp, deadly edges. “No, the last time I listened to you I managed to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.”_

“ _You said-”_

“ _I said a lot of shit I never meant!”_

“ _But-”_

“ _Even if Rey never forgives me, I will_ never _be with you, Bazine. I’ll never know for sure, but your actions will always be synonymous with the death of my little girl. I would rather spend the rest of my days alone than another second with you! Now get the fuck out before I have you dragged out by security!” Ben took a step forward, his eyes narrowed and sparking dangerously._

_Bazine reeled backwards as if struck. “No! You’re just upset...we’ll-we’ll talk about this later.”_

_Ben stormed over to her, his hand shooting out just past her cheek as he punched a hole through the wall. “You bother me again, and the next one will be going for your ugly fucking face. Get the hell out, I’ll have someone send you your shit.”_

“ _You can’t just toss me out on my ass!”_

“ _Watch me,” he spat._

_He had done it to Rey after all, and he had loved her like no other. Tossing Bazine out on her ass was both cathartic, and drove home the fact that he had been a monster to the kindest, most amazing woman he had ever known._

_Thoughts swam as the alcohol finally hit his system. The familiar buzz cast a haze over everything. His sweet, innocent Rey, oh how she must have hurt. His poor angel, never knowing her father, how much he loved – loves – her. His little boy, growing up alone without him there. His own father was never going to win any awards for parenting, but Ben sure was. Worst father ever, of all time._

_He collapsed to the floor, his legs no longer able to hold him up. He sat, crumpled under the weight of his failures on the floor, and wept._

 

* * *

 

It was not a moment Ben was proud of. Even if Bazine had manipulated him, it was still his choice to abandon Rey. While the vapid harpy was due every ounce of back karma coming her way, threatening her with physical harm was not part of that. While it shamed him to admit that fact, both to himself and his therapist, she had praised him for recognizing that. It was a sign he was on the road to recovery.

Recovery, it turned out, felt a lot like hell.

But his sweet Rey had been through so much worse. He owed it to her, his son, and himself to get through every agonizing step of it. He may never win Rey back, but he would be there for his son. In any capacity that she allowed him to be.

Which brought Ben back to the matter at hand. Hux, his best friend, the one who had, even at his worst, believed he could come back from the darkness, was dying.

_Cancer._

The universe was a cruel mistress. Unkind at the best of times, and downright evil at the worst. Hux had never lifted a finger against him or Rey during the most tumultuous period of their lives. Torn by love and friendship, he must have waited to pass his judgment. Rightly so, as Dameron's show had proven to them all. Even when the world would see what a monster he had been, Hux didn't seize his chance to take what he'd always wanted.

No. He had been a friend to both of them.

And now he was dying. The doctors had given him a few months. Stage four pancreatic cancer. Very nearly never caught early enough to cure. Of course, it also happened to be aggressive as well, shortening his already limited time. If anyone had deserved a pass, Hux would have been the one. With the time Hux had left, he had seen fit to reach out to Ben again. The words still did not make sense to him.

_Dear Solo,_

_So, I'll be frank- turns out I've lost the medical lottery and I'm dying. It's a shame, really, because I think Rey was finally coming around to the idea of us together. That, or since I'm really the only single male she's around other than your uncle, she was coming to see me as more than a friend and savior._

_I’ve left everything to Rey and Leo, they’ll be taken care of after I’m gone. So don’t worry about that. So no flying over here with some half-baked plan to take care of them. But, I did leave you an in for that. You better be thankful, Solo. Of course in the event Rey's particularly stubborn, or you fuck up again, it should all be covered. They won’t be on the street, they don’t and will never want for anything._

_Except maybe a father, and a strong male figure in their lives. Can’t do much about that though, you know, because I’m dying. So, since I’m kicking the bucket, I think I’ve earned a last request. From you. I want you to hurry and get your shit together. Luke tells me you’re doing really well - all things considered. Far better than he had ever hoped. So, as your best friend on his deathbed, you better fucking listen to me. YOU. NEED. TO HURRY. THE. BLOODY. HELL. UP._

_Rey needs Ben Solo. She won’t admit it, but she does. She needs the man who can protect her from the storm, make the pain melt to nothing, bare her burdens, and love her as she deserves. Once upon a time you did love her and treat her like that, and I expect you still feel the same. I’ll bet you **ache** at night wishing to fix your mistakes._

_Well, she’s going to need you real soon. I **have** become rather important to her._

_Leo's going to need a father. He knows that you work over in America and can't come to see him. You're busy ‘fixing things’ as Rey puts it. Even at her lowest moments she never wanted her son to hate you. She hated what you became, but that pesky little hope of hers never died out. I still blame Leia for all that, Rey’s always tried to emulate your mother, and that woman has more hope than the entire population over._

_So, you’ll get an email from my secretary about the funeral. I expect you to be there. For me, crying like a pansyass. But more importantly, you're going to be there for Rey, and Leo._

_I’ll warn you, it’s not going to be easy. She’s going to fight you and herself tooth and nail. She hates admitting weakness, and we both know how bloody stubborn that woman is. But I know you, and you’re going to fix this mess. Or I’m going to haunt the shit out of you._

_This was never going to end with me and Rey, was it? Your story ends with her, and hers ends with you. I know that. I've **always** known that, but I had hoped. Guess it wasn't in the cards for me. So as your **dying** best friend - if you don’t win her back and let her fall into some random blokes arms and bed... Again, I will reiterate since you're hard-headed: I'll be haunting the shit out of you._

_And we both don't want that. I'd rather be fucking some dead celebrities in heaven. Maybe meet Picasso, or DaVinci, hang out with the Beatles, figure out who all was involved in the JFK assassination, you know,_ **interesting** _things._

_Good luck Solo, move your ass. Be the hero, not the monster._

_I love you, man._

_Your Smarmy Ginger Prat of a Best Friend,_

_General Hugs_

_P.S. The attachment is both motivation, and so you know that I’ve taken good care of our family. Yes ours, you ass. I’m not giving up my role. This is our family, and you **will** finish fixing it. You like Kintsugi art, finish what I started then. Or, and I'll say it a third time to get through your pigheadedness: I. WILL. HAUNT. YOUR. UNGRATEFUL. ASS!_

Ben understood a few things. One, Hux was clearly on some form of drugs or pain medication while drafting this email. Two, he hated the cruelty of the universe. Finally, third, he owed it to everyone involved to fulfill his best friends literal dying wish. He clicked the attachment to the email and swore he would see this through to the end.

He would do it for himself.

He would do it for Hux.

He would do it for Leo.

He would do it for Luna.

He would do it for Rey.

He stared at the photo of Rey, older and no longer looking run ragged. The smile on her face was soft, tentative, but very real. She was wearing a pale blue sundress, surrounded by wildflowers. He recognized the area, the Hux Estate in Chesire, England. There, in her arms was a little boy. Leo looked like a mini version of himself, the large ears included. Except he had Rey’s nose and her freckles, and her beautiful hazel eyes. Leo had grass stains on his pants and dirt on his fingers.

He smiled softly at that.

They were sitting on a red and white checkered blanket, a wicker basket sitting off to the side. Behind them, with protective arms wrapped around each, was the smiling face of his best friend. His normally slicked back red hair was askew, the sleeves of his plaid shirt buttoned up, and, surprisingly enough, blue jeans with similar grass stains. It was rare to see Hux dressed so casually. His blue eyes shone with utter joy and pride. His friend was smiling towards the camera, and Ben could not have been more grateful.

Despite everything, Hux had been there for Rey and Leo when he could not. He would not fail any of them any longer.

_Thank you, Hux._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to say this, chapter three was written before I even posted this story. Check the tags, but I did have "Unreliable Narrator" as one of them. There are two sides to every story. Perhaps Ben is not as MUCH of the monster Rey was making him out to be in her mind.  
> Also, Scyfymom13 got it and went the extra mile going deep into my motives! Good Job. Missing A Muse you got it too because you are right, so far are chapter title's song use those words in the lyrics. So you can both have bonus brownie points! (I checked the time stamps and it's only like 2 hours between them too!)  
> I'm glad you figured it out because man naming this chapter was hard... First, it was "Take it On the Run" then it was "Things People Say" (By Lady Antebellum) and finally after a LOT of searching because I could not for the life of me remember the song title or like any of the words I finally remembered it. I do have a playlist with all the songs/chapters planned, but I can't share it because of potential spoilers. It's what I listen to while writing this (plus a few other songs that I'm not sure what to do with but I like). Or if you like I could be persuaded to release the next chapter's title each chapter...MAYBE.
> 
> If you want to keep track so far the playlist is:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars


	4. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux's funeral. Rey reminisces. Someone shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works). has once again outdone herself. Thank you for all your time and effort. May you tease my fellow Dadam's in my stead O Secret Keeper!~
> 
> Hope you love it Liv.
> 
> Sorry, not sorry guys! Prepare for tissues.

* * *

 

The whole cliché in movies where it rains at funerals was not lost on Rey. Glaring up at the beautiful blue sky, Rey wondered why this day, of all days, saw only bright sunshine. Dreary weather would have matched the mood better. But no, the universe looked down upon her and decided to compound her pain in unique and cruel ways.

Hux had been her savior, her friend, and a man she had been coming to care for. Just like everything else she came to love, he too had been savagely ripped from her. Not in a violent quick way, but one long and drawn out. Watching him wither and weaken before her eyes made an hour feel like a lifetime. Not in a good way mind, but in the slow, agonizing tic - knowing that soon everything safe and good would crumble around her again. He had, for the most part, been rather cavalier about the whole situation.

Ever the smarmy prick.

Standing there watching his coffin being lowered into the ground felt symbolic. Her own hopes and dreams were surely being buried along with him. Who on this earth could understand the pain she had gone through? Who else could she turn to when everything became too much to bear on her own? Luke was all well and good for that, but he was a rather crotchety old man.

Comfort was _not_ Luke Skywalker’s strong suit.

She had said her goodbyes before, long before this blindingly bright day greeted her. She could have taken it as some cosmic sign that Hux was happy, or at peace, or some other such nonsense. She instead chose to be bitter towards a universe seemingly only able to bring her pain. She picked a bit of dandelion fluff off her pressed Armani pantsuit, the one Hux told her made her look like a ‘damn temptress’. It had been his favorite outfit.

Armie had his kinks. She wouldn’t dream of denying him his grand send-off while wearing his favorite outfit.

 

* * *

 

“ _You look like someone killed your puppy,” Hux teased from where he was lounging on his bed, wearing only a pair of pale blue sleep pants._

_Rey rounded on him, glaring at the man who had protected her for the past two years. “That is not funny, Armitage Brendol Hux!”_

“ _Ooh, using my full name. I must be in trouble then,” the aggravating smile on his face only grew._

“ _Don’t talk like that! You’re **dying**_! _That’s not something to be joking about!”_

_His smile faltered. “Rey, I **am** dying. It’s not fair, but it’s true. It’s sad, shitty, horrible, angering, cruel, and hilariously ironic all at once. I mean, you asked me to take you out on a date **finally** , and I collapse in the middle of it! If that’s not a ‘fuck you’ from the universe, I don’t know what is!”_

“ _Then stop fucking making light of it!” she screamed. Thankfully, Leo was with Luke at the zoo, so they could have this time to talk._

“ _It’s my choice, Rey. I can either take it like a man, whine about it like a pansy ass, or make jokes and try like hell to get **you** through this,” he whispered._

“ _Me? What about you?”_

“ _Again, dying here. It’s inevitable. Even if I tried to fight, the odds are so stacked against me I’d be a shell of a man if I managed to come through this with my life! It’s about the quality of life, not the ability to live it!”_

“ _And how the hell are your jokes supposed to improve that?” she yelled, hands fisted at her sides. Her whole body was shaking in denial of the truth._

“ _I don’t know! All I know is I want you to smile again, Rey. Not those half smiles you give, but your true smiles. The ones I sometimes see when you look at Leo. They only last a few seconds, but they are there. You can get through this, Rey,” his voice was soft, and it only caused her to ache all the more._

“ _I don’t want to lose you, too. I don’t want to lose anyone else that I love,” she cried, finally giving into temptation and throwing herself across the room into his open arms._

_He held her, arms wrapped tight around her waist. He buried his nose into her hair, and she could feel him breathing her in. “Rey, we both know I’m not the man you love.”_

_His words were heavy with the truth. She still denied it vehemently. “No! You’re wrong, I don’t-”_

“ _You do, love. You will always love Ben Solo. You made him out to be a monster, but you know in your heart that’s not true.”_

“ _Clearly my heart is stupid,” Rey said, her voice as broken as her heart still felt._

“ _Well, they do say love is deaf, dumb, and blind,” he offered with a chuckle. Rey gave his chest a soft slap. “Oof.”_

“ _Not the time for jokes.”_

“ _Again, I’m going to have to disagree with you. I want the rest of the time I have left to be spent making you and Leo happy. I could go on and on about the what ifs, but in the end, they don’t matter. I’m dying. I’m in love with you and always have been, and if I have to leave you... I’m leaving you with happy memories,” he declared, running his fingers through her hair._

“ _Armie-”_

“ _Let me make you happy, Rey. At least until Ben gets his head out of his ass and-”_

_Rey pressed her lips to his, not wanting to waste another moment of their time left on Ben Solo. She loved Hux, maybe not in the way he loved her, but it was enough. It **had** to be enough. She would devote herself to him for the remaining time he had left. She owed it to him, and she owed it to herself to take comfort in his arms. This would be how she said her goodbyes. In his arms, in his bed. Straight to his heart._

 

* * *

 

Her arms wrapped around the only source of joy left in her life. For three years, Leo had been what stood between her and the darkness. Armitage helped, but it was her love for her son that kept her alive and moving. If not for Leo, Rey might have lost herself long ago. Counseling helped, but there was still an ache in her soul, one that she knew could never be dulled. Luna left a scar on her heart that would never heal. No matter how much she tried to patch that wound, it would always bleed around the carefully placed bandages.

The scars Ben Solo left… well, she was working on those.

Leo was the only good thing left in her life, and she would protect him no matter what.

The funeral was thankfully private. Hux seemed to know what she needed before she even did. Only members of his staff, as well as Rey, Luke, and Leo were to be the only attendees. No one else was allowed in or around the funeral. If he was leaving this world, it would be visited by only those he held close to his heart. He had his staff take care of everything so she could mourn in peace.

She drifted through the day on auto-pilot. Not really seeing or hearing much of the world as it moved around her. She was lost in happier memories of her brief time with Hux. She hadn’t bothered to look away from his casket until long after everyone else had walked away. Hux’s driver had taken her and Leo back to the manor alone. Luke had presumably ridden with Mara Jade, and was finally brought out of her reverie when Luke placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Let me take the kid. Lawyer’s here, might as well get it over with,” his voice was gruff, but there was a misty glint in his eyes.

Luke may not have liked Hux - the two argued over every little detail - but he must have respected him for what he had done. She appreciated the effort he was making not to be a complete ass today. “Sure. Sooner I do this, sooner I can grieve.”

Luke smiled down at the shy boy before intoning, “Come on, Leo. Let’s you and I find some ice cream.”

“Yay! Cream, I love cream,” the boy cheered.

“And we’ll get you out of that monkey suit,” Luke added.

“Leo no monkey! Leo lion!” he declared, then roared for emphasis.

Rey felt a smile begin to creep onto her face. Her son was just too cute for words. She was ever thankful he seemed to have inherited her lighter disposition. God forbid he turned out like his father. She had to look at the silver linings... In a universe hell-bent on destroying her, she would take whatever wins she could get. Her smile faltered at the reminder of her ex.

“ _I want you to be able to smile again, Rey.”_ Hux’s whispered words flew to the forefront of her mind.

_Maybe one day,_ she thought, _one day I’ll smile again like I used to._

Rey walked the halls of the Hux Estate, black heels clicking along the mahogany floor. She glanced up at the grand staircase, and yet another memory flashed before her.

 

* * *

 

“ _Hux, calm down, will you? You’re more excited than Leo is-” Rey called from the top of the stairs. She was still wearing her pajamas, hair mussed from sleep._

“ _Happy Christmas! Now get down here! It’s our first Christmas together!” he cheered._

_Rey rolled her eyes, but felt warmth tingle through her. His laughter was infectious._ He should probably see a doctor about that, _she thought while smothering a giggle with her hand. “I’m not riding the banister down like a child!” she warned._

_Hux just continued to smile, holding Leo on his hip and waving her down. Leo picked up on this and waved his arms towards her as well. “Come down and let’s have some of this Christmas feast, love.”_

Well, if he’s promising food, _Rey reasoned she could give into his enthusiasm._

_She made her way down the stairs and wondered why Hux continued to just stand there. When she reached the bottom step, she stopped. She blinked at Hux, whose grin only grew, his eyes sparkling with glee. She offered him and Leo a smile, her eyes darting to his as she heard Hux gasp._

“ _You might want to look up, love,” he whispered, pointing above her head._

“ _What in the world?” Rey’s eyes shot up, and there, hanging innocently, was a sprig of mistletoe. She narrowed her eyes and fixed Hux with a stare. “Did you do this?”_

“ _No, but I’ll be sure to give a raise to whomever put that there,” he teased. “We both know what this means,” he sang._

_Rey rolled her eyes again and bent down to place a kiss on her son’s head. Leo squealed with delight, clapping his hands together. “Happy Christmas, Leo.”_

_Hux bent his head to place a kiss to the crown of Leo’s head. “Yes, Happy Christmas indeed. To the first of many.”_

_When Hux pulled away from her son, Rey could not help but stare into his baby blue eyes, still shining with mirth._ Oh, what the hell? s _he thought. She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to her friend’s lips._

_When she pulled away, she saw Hux’s jaw had fallen slack. His eyes were as wide as saucers, and there was a red dusting to his cheeks that matched his unkempt hair. “Happy Christmas, Armitage.”_

_He surged forward, wrapping his free arm around her waist. Hux pulled her from the step and into his chest before placing another kiss to the crown of her head. Bringing his lips to her ear, he whispered, “Happy Christmas, Rey.”_

 

* * *

 

The memory made her chest ache, but not for the pain of loss. She knew there would never be another Christmas like that one. The first. The one where she felt safe, happy, loved and protected. She did not have to scrounge to get presents. She had no need to slave the month of December away and put on a happy face for Poe and Finn. Armitage had taken care of everything, except for the shopping which they had done together.

He had brought her the first real sense of peace she had since – since everything. He really had saved her and Leo. Hux made their lives better and did everything in his power to make them happy. He had kept his promise, the promise he had made to her after they shot that stupid show.

At least she could look back on that day and remember - it had brought her and Hux together.

Rey shook her head. She had a meeting with Hux’s estate lawyer, and she did not want to keep the man waiting. Later, she could drown herself in memories. She hastened her pace towards Hux’s study, already dreading the meeting.

Of course, grief did not wait casually by while life moved on. It came in waves, and today there was a storm raging. The next memory hit her like a bolt of lightning when she placed her hand on the doorknob to Hux’s office.

 

* * *

 

“ _Come in, love,” Hux called when she knocked on the door._

“ _What are you doing working this late?” she asked, finding him typing away on his keyboard. Was he really working this late? What sort of email was this important that it could not wait until at least after the sun rose?_

_Rey frowned, wondering what was so important to pull her dying...friend, lover, partner? No, none of those words encompassed all of what Armitage Hux was to her. What was pulling her Hux from his much-needed rest?_

“ _I would say early, but who’s to judge?” he smiled from his leather office chair._

“ _You left me alone. What’s so important it dragged you out of bed?” Rey questioned, curious eyes searching as she crossed the entryway and made her way to his side._

_He made a few clicks with his mouse and pointed towards the screen. “Sending out some emails I had forgotten, nothing serious. It was just keeping me awake,” he reached out his hand towards her._

_Rey glanced at the screen to see he had been emailing business partners and friends. A few subject lines told her he was informing them about his diagnosis. Her heart seized in her chest, and she pushed the thoughts and implications away for another time. She did not want to face that truth right now._

_Rey placed her hand in his and let him pull her onto his lap. “You should be in our bed, Armitage Hux. You should be sleep-”_

“ _Ah, I see what’s bothering you now_. _Don’t worry - I’m not straining myself. I promise,” he pressed his lips to her ear. “Unless you want me to come upstairs and strain myself with you again?”_

_Rey shivered, “For a dying man, you are insatiable.”_

_Hux laughed, the sound long, low and full.”See? You **can** make jokes about it! I knew I’d get through to you!” he cheered._

_Rey frowned, “Armie, this isn’t the time-”_

“ _Time,” he sighed heavily at the word. “Time is not a kind mistress, and I have to make the most of what I have left.”_

“ _So your answer is to...” Rey trailed off._

“ _Make passionate love to you every moment I can?” he posed the question as a smirk fell onto his lips, “You bet your beautiful ass, love.”_

_Rey rolled her eyes. Even while facing what he was, her Hux would always be Hux. Except now she delighted in his humor, even if it sent an ache through her. She felt his lips caress the shell of her ear, and a shiver coursed through her body at the feather-light sensation._

“ _I have quite a few years to catch up on,” he whispered as he trailed his lips from her ear to the nape of her neck. Rey felt goose-flesh rise under his ministrations, and she couldn’t help the breathy moan that left her lips. “I need to be sure I’ve burned myself into your memory.”_

“ _Armie, I could never forget you,” Rey promised, placing her hand on his cheek and letting her thumb dance over his skin in small circles._

“ _Good,” he declared, placing a flurry of open-mouthed kisses against the bare flesh of her neck and shoulder. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep making more, until-”_

_Rey whipped her head around, covering his mouth with her own. She did not want him to say it. She wanted – needed- to run from the truth that soon enough, his body would begin weakening. When that started it would be a full sprint to the end. Time was a cruel mistress, and waited for no man. No matter how good and pure he was._

_As she pressed her lips to his, desperate to feel him against her, she wrapped them in a bubble. Hux was not dying, and they were just two people desperately in love. She could feel him, alive and responding to her now. She turned herself in his arms so that she was facing him, straddling his hips._

_He wrapped those long, muscled arms that she had come to adore around her, and devoured her right there. Whispering sweet words between passionate kisses and low moans, Hux spoke to her from his heart, telling her all the things he had wanted to say for a long time, but had never been able to._

“ _I love you, Rey.”_

“ _I’ll always be with you.”_

“ _Never forget me, love.”_

“ _You’re the most beautiful creature God has ever created.”_

“ _I will never get enough of you.”_

“ _I will always love you.”_

“ _Heaven is in your arms.”_

“ _I’ve dreamed about this for years.”_

“ _I’ll never be able to look at this desk the same way again.”_

“ _Smile for me, love. Just let me see that beautiful smile once more.”_

_And, through it all he was there, smiling so brilliantly it broke her heart. She knew they were only stealing moments, but she could live in her bubble for a little while longer. In those fleeting, precious moments she could pretend that nothing terrible was happening. She could fool herself into believing that her world was at peace, and that the universe and time both were not cruel mistresses._

 

* * *

 

Rey had known the truth then as well as she knew it today. The bubble was just a dream. There was no white knight coming to save her - not anymore. She would have to save herself now. She had to be the hero and protect Leo and herself from everything else.

Hux had given her time. Time to heal. Time to prepare herself. Time to rebuild. She took a deep breath and cast her gaze around the hallway, and as her eyes landed on a vase, she felt a smile make its way onto her face as yet another memory hit her.

 

* * *

 

“ _Rey, it’s fine!”_

“ _No, it’s not! I’m really sorry, Leo was running through the halls, and I slipped and… God, that thing must have cost a fortune!” Rey wailed, looking at the smashed remains of a vase spilled all over the mahogany floor._

“ _Clearly we need to get rugs for the hallways, but aside from that, I see no problem,” Hux shrugged._

“ _What?”_

“ _Neither you nor Leo are hurt. I don’t care about a stupid piece of decoration-”_

“ _But it must have cost-”_

“ _You and Leo are worth far more to me than some stupid piece of art. Trust me, love. I’m just glad you’re both safe,” Hux knelt down and wrapped his arms around her, taking her hands in his and stopping her from gathering up more pieces of the broken vase._

“ _But-”_

_Hux held a finger to her lips and gave a long exhale before cupping her cheek. “Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi?”_

“ _What does that have to do with anything? And why would I know about Japanese art?” Rey huffed, crossing her arms._

_Hux flashed her a smile, his eyes soft. “The art of Kintsugi is a practice where broken pottery is repaired with a special lacquer dusted with either gold, silver, or platinum. It is meant to celebrate the life of the piece’s history. All the cracks and deformities time brings are celebrated, rather than hidden away. Most times the piece is even more beautiful for it.”_

_Rey nodded along. “So, what you’re saying is you plan on shipping this off to Japan to have it go through this Kintsugi process?”_

“ _Yes, I’d rather show the scars than hide them,” Hux agreed._

“ _Then let me pay for it!” Rey declared. Hux had already done so much, she didn’t want to be a burden to him. Paying for breaking his priceless art was the least she could do._

_Hux shook his head. “No, Rey. Besides, I know someone in London who can do it,” he smirked. “Don’t worry about it.”_

“ _But I ruined it!”_

“ _You didn’t ruin anything. Honestly, you made this random piece of art, that’s been sitting here for who knows how long, my favorite piece. I’m sure it will turn out beautifully, cracks and all,” his thumb began moving in a soothing caress along her jaw._

“ _Are you sure?” she blinked._

“ _Very,” he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Now, let’s go find Leo. It’s a beautiful day and I am feeling like having a picnic.”_

 

* * *

 

Rey looked at the blue vase, golden lines now dancing along its surface in no set pattern. It really was more beautiful than before. Knowing now that Armitage had always been in love with her, even then - a year into their stay, she could see the underlying meaning of his words. The fact that he had moved it to right outside his office was not lost on her.

He did say it was his favorite piece of art. He wanted to look at it every day.

With a soft smile, her resolve strengthened. She reached for the doorknob and twisted. She would keep moving forward, her cracks healed from Hux’s tender care. As she entered the room and looked around, Rey felt her stomach drop at the sight of a tall, imposing man standing beside Hux’s desk.

“What the _hell_ are you doing here, Solo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I did not intend for Rey and Hux to be together. It happened while writing chapter four. I had intended it to be a selfless onsided love on Hux's part. I grew to love him and I just could not let him go without giving him a bit of happiness. I've read a message in the House Dadam common room, where Liv said she hopes that Hux and Luna are together playing in heaven. I'm taking that as canon now, as shown in the moodboard. Hux will watch over Luna until they are all together again.
> 
> Playlist as it stands:  
> If you want to keep track so far the playlist is:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias


	5. Jar of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben speak. Ben makes a suggestion. Ben gets on his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) did an amazing job this chapter. She has been my secret spy/Secret Keeper as she has been dubbed in the Den. I adore you and let's enjoy one last round of reactions before the reveal.

How long had it been since he had seen Rey? Had she always been this beautiful? No, he decided. Rey had always been the most beautiful being alive, but now...now she was something more. The last time he had seen her, she looked fragile, broken. Looking at her now - she shone brighter than the ray of sunlight she had been before. That picture hadn’t done her justice.

She really was the sun.

Ben had stayed off to the side during the funeral processions. keeping a watchful gaze on his love and his child. His eyes had burned with unshed tears watching his best friend being lowered into the ground. Witnessing Rey’s pained, silent sobs had torn at his heart. Ben had begged the universe with a silent supplication that it would stop hurting her. His sun deserved to smile and shine, not be bogged down by misery and death. He had kept his distance, though it was hard not to comfort her - he knew had no right to intrude.

He _would_ honor Hux’s dying wish, though.

His whole body froze, perhaps even time itself had stopped - to allow him this agonizing precious second to drink her in. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, time righted itself and sped onward. He watched the soft smile fall from her lips and her jaw shift, her lips forming into a thin line. Her brows furrowed, her hazel eyes hardening as she glared at him.

“What the hell are you doing here, Solo?” she hissed.

Like a bucket of ice water had been unceremoniously dumped on him, he went rigid. He adjusted his sunglasses and coughed. “I was invited, Rey.”

She took a step back and placed her hand on the still open door. "Who invited you? Because I'm going to be firing them very soon."

Ben was taken aback by the vicious strength of her tone. “Hux, he insisted I be here. Crying like a pansy-ass, I might add.”

Rey flinched to the side, now clinging to the door. "He-he would never...you- you're lying!" she shouted.

Ben wanted nothing more than to reach out to her. The pain in those words was palpable, and sharp enough to cut him in half. Her hazel eyes mirrored that pain, and Ben wanted to take it all away. He knew that was no longer his place, but the urge still screamed from within him. “Rey, he was my best friend-”

“No! He stopped being your friend the moment he realized what a monster you are!” Her entire body shook with her denial.

“Did he tell you that?” Ben whispered. Hux’s words, he had written them himself in the email Ben had received. Surely Hux had not lied to him about all this? Not that he wouldn’t deserve it. One last joke from Hux, planned for maximum evisceration, all for Rey’s pleasure.

Rey sucked in a breath and shook her head. "He chose to help me. He chose to protect me from _you._ ”

Ben sighed. So Hux’s words were true. At least he had that going for him, then. He knew he had a long battle ahead of him already. Justly so, at that. Luckily, Ben was well prepared to fight now - for them, for Leo, and for her. “He could still do that while being my best friend. Taking care of you, I would have asked him to had I been in my right mind.”

“Armie didn’t do it for you!” Rey cried out.

 _Armie?_ _Just how close had they become? Sure Hux said she was coming around, but… It makes sense,_ Ben thought.

Hux adored Rey, and had always been gentle towards her. Knowing what she went through - being around a man like Hux, who loved her - nothing else would have made sense. Of course she would fall for him. She was so open hearted she would have given herself to him in his last few months - regardless of her own feelings - if she knew it would ease his pain.

As well as her own.

 _Oh Rey, and now you’ve lost him too._ He ached for her loss, more so than his own. Hux had been his best friend, but to lose someone else she had loved had to feel like yet another knife to her already shattered heart. At least Rey was still alive, Ben had yet to endure the sort of pain one had when someone they loved left this Earth permanently.

He cleared his throat. “No, he didn’t. He did it for you, Leo, and himself. I can respect that. He loved you.”

“Yeah, and a hell of a lot better than you ever did,” she sneered.

Ben closed his eyes, pressing them tightly together. They _had_ been together then. In the end, Rey and Hux had- it was none of his business. He had not waited long before drunkenly stumbling his way into Bazine’s bed. That Rey waited so long- he held onto that hope like a lifeline. He had failed Rey in so many ways, but hope springs eternal.

“In the end? You’re right, I didn’t treat you as you deserved. I’m glad Hux was able to do what I couldn’t,” he admitted. Much as it pained him, any joy his best friend brought to Rey was precious. It meant fewer tears for her to shed, less pain for her to deal with.

At least she hadn’t been left alone.

“What game are you playing, Solo?” Rey looked at him, her eyes still narrowed.

He shook his head. “No games. I’m following Hux’s dying wish.”

Rey finally let go of the door, crossing the room to stand before him. She reached out, jabbing a small, cool finger into his chest. "Well, you've gone to his funeral, you can go now," she spat.

“Rey, I-”

“No! I don’t want to hear it! We’ve been just fine without you. We don’t need you to come and take care of us out of some twisted sense of duty!” she pushed him again, this time with her palm. Ben let her, he knew he deserved far worse from her.

“It’s not a sense of duty. I’ve been working like hell to get help, to make myself better for you and Leo. I was-”

“No! You’ll never be a part of our lives! I don’t care if you spent the last two years with Tibetan Monks finding yourself or some such nonsense. Nothing you do will ever heal the scars you’ve left!”

“I don’t care! I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the pain I’ve caused you!” Ben surged forward. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he knew he no longer had that right. His arms shook with the desire, and the knowledge that he had to hold himself back had him stopping short of her.

Rey backed away from him, crossing her arms across her chest as she smirked. “Funny, since I’m not planning on spending any time around you to allow you to even do that.”

“I-I know I’ve fucked up. It’s my fault. But please,” he stressed the word, pleading with her with his eyes and his words, “Please let me make this up to you and our son.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “He only shares your DNA, Solo. You’re not taking him away from me!”

"I don't want to! For fuck's sake, Rey, I want you and Leo both in my life!" he swore, hands curling to fists at his side. He wouldn’t lie to her, he couldn’t if he wanted to.

Rey let out a rather unladylike snort. It was still as cute as he remembered. “Well, points for honesty I guess,” she lifted her chin and looked down at him over her nose. A look his mother had often used on him. He already felt properly chastened before she opened those petal pink lips to speak again. “You really are delusional if you think I’m falling for your bullshit.”

“Rey, I’m not trying to bullshit you-”

"And you must have suffered brain damage if you think I'm letting you into my life in any capacity," she lifted one of her hands and waved it in front of her.

Her words cut, but the knowledge he broke her heart, abandoned her, and then compounded on her pain was so much worse. Plus, his drinking had probably killed more than a few brain cells. He could take her anger, her hate, her vitriol. He _deserved_ them - and much more.

“At least we’re talking,” Ben mused aloud.

Rey hummed. “Yes, I suppose we are. It’s been almost four years since our last conversation. Unless you want to count the one where you assaulted me, of course.”

“I, I’m so sorry,” Ben looked to the floor, studying the grain of the mahogany wood. He didn’t dare lift his head to see the scorn he knew would be on Rey’s face.

“Pretty words, but your actions say otherwise-”

“I’ve known where you were since I got out of rehab! I’ve left you alone, to heal, to get the help you needed!” Ben insisted, raising his head to show her the truth in his words. She had to know that he had respected her need to be alone.

“You’ve known exactly where I was?” Rey hissed.

“Well no, but I knew you were with Hux. I left it alone, he told me to. I respected that.”

“And your Uncle, you didn’t send him?” Rey asked, biting her lower lip.

“No, he sought you out on his own. You two were always close. He had no idea any of this was even going on until a week before we did the show,” Ben kept opening and closing his fists. Anything to distract him from wanting to reach out to her.

“Luke told us as much,” she waved her hand again, as if she were waving him away.

“I wrote you a-”

“I know,” Ben watched her visibly stiffen. Her hands gripped her shoulders tight enough to wrinkle the black silk blouse she was wearing. She curled into herself for a moment, and he felt another knife enter his heart. By now it was probably more metal than muscle.

“You- you read it?” Ben felt hope swell up within him.

“Yes,” she whispered, and then her voice hardened again. “It changes nothing, Ben. Pretty words are just like lies and rumors. People believe or say what they want.”

“Rey-”

“We’re going around in circles, honestly. Why are you even here?” Rey demanded.

"I told you, Hux-"

“No, I meant here,” Rey waved her hand towards Hux’s desk, “in this office.”

Ben shrugged. “Hux’s lawyer told me to wait for him in here. Said something about needing to be here for the reading of his will.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Of course, fucking lawyers. He needs to-”

She was cut off by a knock at the door. _Speak of the devil,_ Ben thought.

"Oh good, you're both here. I was looking for you when Luke told me you'd already come here, Miss Niima. I apologize for the wait."

Ben had to stop the possessive urge to pull Rey towards him. The young lawyer was looking at Rey like she was a hunk of meat. _How dare he,_ he mentally snarled, _she’s fucking grieving, you blind, callous pig!_

“Well, you've kept us both waiting. You should probably get to doing your job," Rey deadpanned.

Ben tried to hide his smirk, but he knew he had been caught when he saw Rey’s frown deepen. He coughed and took a seat. When the lawyer moved towards the seat behind the elegant desk, Rey rushed forward and gripped his arm. “No one sits there!” she demanded.

The lawyer straightened his suit, then stepped away from the desk. “Of course. So, shall we go over things?”

Ben nodded. The sooner this lawyer finished, the sooner he and Rey could talk.

 

* * *

 

Ben’s jaw was still hanging open when the lawyer crossed the room towards the door to the office. As soon as the door closed, Rey let loose a high pitched scream of frustration.

“Are you fucking joking?” she whirled around and set her heated gaze on him. “Did you somehow conspire with Hux to do this?”

Ben noted the change in name as he responded, “No! He only told me he had left me an in. I had to do the rest on my own. He wanted me to...to be there for both you and Leo.”

Rey threw her hands into the air. “Are you serious? He clearly was not of sound mind while adding that in then,” she started pacing the office floor, mumbling to herself.

“Rey, I know this isn’t ideal-”

“Ideal? This is a bloody fucking nightmare, Solo. One I’d very much like to wake up from,” she snarled, her face twisting into a mask of rage.

“Poor, word choice. Sorry.”

“Or a Freudian slip of the tongue,” Rey countered.

“Still, it is what it is. You do this, you and Leo are set for life,” Ben tried to reason.

Rey rounded on him, stalking towards him. Her finger was suddenly thrust back in his chest. He relished the pressure, if only for her closeness. He tried hard to resist the urge to inhale her scent. But he couldn’t stop himself - having her so close and knowing he could not touch her was misery, but at least he could breathe her in and bask in her presence.

“I don’t give a fuck about Armitage’s money. You think I can’t get a decent paying job to take care of my son?” she hissed. “Especially since I no longer need to worry about hiding from you?”

“No, you’ve always been so strong, so independent. I know you could do it. But if you do what Hux said you don’t have to,” he remembered well just how strong Rey was. Knowing what she had endured without him… he slumped back into the chair. “What you went through, Rey. You deserve peace and rest. To be with your son. God, if I could take your pain away, take it all on myself, I would. But I-”

“You can’t.”

“I know, and I'll never forgive myself for that," he admitted before raising his head to look into her hate-filled eyes.

He deserved this, Ben reminded himself. He had done this. He had broken her, and Hux had fixed her. He only hoped he could show her everything. How he still burned for her, and that hurting her was the worst mistake of his life. “The worst mistake of my life was-”

“Getting involved with me, remember?” Rey remarked.

Ben barked out a bitter laugh. “I said a lot of shit in anger I never meant. Usually quite the opposite really,” he met her furious gaze, his eyes sad and full of regret. “No, the worst mistake I made was hurting you. But there are so many more I’ve made that hurt almost as much.”

Rey backed away as if spooked, like he had taken a prod to her with his words. “Don’t think you can get me to believe you’ve changed. Your words-”

“Mean nothing. It’s my actions that need to prove my sincerity, right?” Ben smirked, he was capable of listening at least.

"I- well, yes," It thrilled him to see he had thrown the angry hellcat that was the love of his life for a loop. "So you _can_ listen, Solo.”

“Yes, and I’m willing to bet if you had reached out, I would have listened then. But now, I’ll listen, and I’ll do anything to prove to you how I feel,” Ben gripped his chest. If he were able to, he would have ripped his heart out and handed it to her.

“I’m nowhere near convinced you’ve changed-”

“Not changed, Rey. I’m still the same Ben you fell in love with all those years ago. I’ve just gotten my anger and _other_ issues sorted out. I promise you, I still love you as much as I did when I first saw you wearing that green daisy covered dress at the bar," he vowed. "Even more, actually. Distance does make the heart grow fonder," he added with a soft smile.

Rey huffed, spun on her heel and presented her back to him. “I don’t like this.”

A heavy, awkward silence fell over the room. For a while, the only sound in the room was their breathing. Ben thought about what could make Rey feel more comfortable. What could he do to ensure she got what she wanted and needed? A small, selfish part of him wondered what he could do to convince her to stay.

Hux, the brilliant, smug prick had given Rey and Leo everything. All on one condition - that they move to America for one year and live with Ben and Luke. Luke was the only one who could allow them to leave early without losing the inheritance if he felt Ben was overstepping his boundaries.

Unless Ben flat out refused to play along.

It was manipulative as hell. Once again _he_ was the bad guy. But this time, not of his own machinations or failures. Giving up this chance would let Rey out of the stipulation, but then he would lose her completely. Ben just couldn’t do it, he couldn’t let her walk out of his life again. Not after seeing her again, even if all she did was hate him and scream at him. Ben needed her. Dr. Kalonia would probably tell him this was terribly unhealthy. He knew she would be right of course, but to give up his last chance with Rey? With Leo? No. He owed it to them to make this right.

If she needed someone to hate, he’d be that. If she needed someone to scream and bitch at, he would take it gladly. If she needed someone to hold her when she cried, he’d do that. If she needed someone to tell her it would be alright, he would say that every moment. If she needed someone to take away her pain, he would hold all of her burdens himself. If she needed someone to love her, he would thank his lucky stars she allowed him that. Ben would do whatever it took, he would be whatever Rey needed him to be - as long as he could have her near, so he could see those beautiful hazel eyes and perfect lips as often as possible.

Rey was how his story ended - for better or worse, good or bad - that was the truth.

Steeling his resolve, Ben asked a question. One he had posed to her so many years before. Where the question once brought joy, now it only brought a sense of trepidation. He got up from the chair and knelt before her, his eyes hopeful as he gazed up at her, love shining in his expressive chocolate orbs. “Marry me, Rey?”

He watched her spin around and falter in her steps. He continued to look up at her from his position on the ground. “I’m sorry? How much brain damage have you suffered, that you even have the gall to-”

“Hear me out, you can scream at me all you want after,” Ben pleaded, his words rushed.

Rey frowned at him, her body stiff and curled around herself. She said nothing, so he spoke, his words rushed as he laid out his plan. “Marry me for the year you have to spend with me. If you want to leave after that, we’ll get a divorce, and I won’t fight you on it. You can take me for all I’m worth. I won’t even fight you over custody. Just give me one year, with you and Leo, actually letting me try to show you how much I love you and how much I want to know and love my son. Let me spend that year taking care of you as I should have been doing all along. Do that, and I’ll never bother you again if that is what you decide.”

Ben winced as he watched the expressions flash across Rey’s face. Rage, exasperation, frustration, contempt, sorrow, ending finally with a neutral, stony expression he had never seen on her before.

“One year? Do I have to perform ‘wifely’ duties?” she asked.

Ben shook his head. “Nothing you are uncomfortable with. I, um, we should at least eat dinner together. Every other meal, you can do whatever. And once a month we do an activity as a family. That’s it.”

Rey raised a finger to her chin. “You won’t try and use my son to manipulate us?”

“No! I promise! No tricks, just let me be there for you both. If you want to be done after the year is up, you can have everything. Please, Rey. Please let me be there for you like I should have. It kills me inside that I’ve failed you so terribly.”

“You could just say you don’t want to be involved at all. It would be very appreciated,” she countered after a moment’s thought.

"I can't!" he cried. "Being without you, every moment is misery knowing I've caused you pain - pain you never deserved. Please, Rey! Don't ask me to give this chance up. If not for you, I owe it to Hux to try. It was his dying wish! Please!” Ben felt no shame in begging. Tears pricked behind his eyes, and he swallowed hard around the thick lump in his throat as he did his best to hold them back.

His entire world was on the line.

Rey fell silent, and he waited on bated breath for her answer. “Don’t use Hux to try and manipulate-”

“If he weren’t dead I would have stayed away. I would have let him love and care for you and Leo. But he’s gone, all I can do now is try and be there like I should have always been. It’s my fault and I _know_ that. Please, Sunshine, please...”

Rey sighed. “If you’re acting, Solo, you _are_ at least fairly convincing. I’ll give you that. But I trusted you once, and look how well that turned out for me. You’re a fool if you think I’m letting you back in again.”

Ben felt his heart rend itself in two. “Don’t say no. Think about it. If you want to change the stipulations, they are all negotiable. We don’t have to eat dinner every night. Once a week. No trips, nothing. Just dinner, at the house, once a week. Fifty-two nights.”

“That’s fifty-two more than I’m willing to give.”

“I don’t want to fight you on this!”

“Then why the fuck won’t you just let me go?” Rey snapped, her eyes flashing.

"Because I still love you! I've always loved you! Even when I thought you broke my heart!" he roared. He was losing her, and with that knowledge, he could no longer hold his tears at bay.

Ben ripped his sunglasses off his face, staring into her eyes as he wept openly in front of her. He was literally on his knees before her, begging her not to execute him on the spot. Rey held all the power here. He had one shot to attempt to rectify his mistakes. If he lost that chance, she may as well be signing his death warrant.

He felt pathetic, but he had been feeling that every second the last two years. He was never good enough for Rey before, but if he tried – was given the chance to try – then he could walk away knowing he had given it all he could. It would be hell living in a world knowing he had failed her not once, but so many time, but at least he would know he had tried.

At this point, he would take her at least considering his offer.

“Please, Rey. Please. Just, just think about it. I’ll sign a written agreement, whatever insurance you need you can have it. Just-just please think about it. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but how else can I make this better?” Ben’s eyes looked up at her, tears forming rivulets down his cheeks as he pleaded with her.

“You can just leave us alone!”

“And would that really make it better? Would that really fix what’s broken? Or is it just a band-aid over a bullet wound?”

“You think I should care, or give a damn about trying to make you feel better?” she accused.

“No! You should do it to help yourself. You can’t move on or fully heal if you don’t at least get answers. I owe you that and so much more. I want to give you-”

“Get out!” Rey stilled.

“Rey,” he whimpered. It was over. It was all over, and he only had himself to blame.

She inhaled, long and slow. The only sound in the room to accompany his heart shattering all over the floor was that sound. If she honestly wanted him gone, he couldn’t deny her. He had tried, and failed, but he tried. He took her in, one last, longing look. He would burn her into his mind, as she was burnt into his heart and soul.

Her chestnut waves were tightly coiled into a bun atop her heart-shaped face, her hazel orbs red-rimmed and puffy from crying. Her cheeks were flushed red with anger, her adorable freckles like sand blowing in the wind. Her lips were parted a small fraction, still as kissable as the first day they met. She wore a sharp black pantsuit. It clung to her curves, accentuated her small waist and long limbs. The low cut of the top exposed more of her sun-kissed skin that he ached to worship. She looked every bit as fierce and capable as he knew she could be.

His beautiful warrior.

Her words came in a hushed whisper, and he almost missed them. Once he heard them, though, Ben clung to them desperately. "Get a room in town, and wait for me to make a decision. Don't call, don't come around. Just sit and wait. I'll let you know what I've decided when I've decided it!" Rey finally declared.

Ben jumped to his feet. “Thank you, Rey!” It was not a yes, but it wasn’t a no either. That was far better than he could have hoped. He would take whatever scraps she deigned to throw him. He’d wait for her forever. He was hers, hers and Leo’s.

Always.

“Just go,” she whispered, once more curling into herself.

Ben decided it was best not to push her further so he opened the door, then called back over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss. Hux was a good man. Better than I ever was.”

Truer words had never been spoken.

_But one day, I’ll be worthy of you, my sun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this will be the last update before the reveal. If you do happen to know who I am, feel free to shoot me a DM on discord. I may even respond. Just remember if you kill me for this you don't get the hot angry smut, fluffy Ben moments, Dad Ben moments, and further twists and turns I have planned!~
> 
> But in all seriousness, I have cried and mourned right along with you guys and it will be a sort of relief to be revealed to you all. Also hopefully the subscribe and email updates will be better once anon is off. I hope to be allowed into the Rumor Has It Anonymous meetings. I need a place to cry too.
> 
> Now, I do think you all should know that the Pain Train will be easing itself, slowly but surely. There are even fluffy moments written for future chapters already. Healing is officially canon and coming. I can't drag it out too long, because I do want to try not to go too far over the already planned chapter count. I'm not sure if I'll have an update schedule or just go as soon as a chapter is finished being beta'd by Heathyr. I'll let you all know for sure soon.
> 
> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette
> 
> Yes, I've been convinced to release the next chapter's title/song. You can thank my Beta/Secret Keeper for that!  
> Let the speculation begin. I shall do this at the end of each chapter.~


	6. Uninvited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey considers Hux's stipulation and Ben's offer. She makes a decision and confronts the man that once solely held her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works), my Secret Keeper, Oh how I adore thee! <3\. Thank you for all your help and being the best sounding board for this angsty mess. <3

“Mara, would you be so kind as to look after Leo for me? I need to have a long conversation with Luke here,” Rey pointed at the bearded hermit, her eyes narrowing.

The elder nanny nodded, the bun of her greying red hair bouncing. “Of course Miss Rey, will you and the young man be eating together, or should I make sure he eats his lunch?”

“Get him some lunch,” Rey answered, knowing she and Luke were going to be having it out for a while. She suspected Hux had taken Luke’s counsel on his little ‘going away present.’

“Mama!” Leo cheered from in front of his train set. “We play?”

Rey bit her lip, as much as she wanted to escape reality and lose herself in spending time with her son, she knew the truth. Her time, her space, was gone. She had stolen nearly two and a half years of peace. There was no more running or hiding. She had to face the consequences of her actions like an adult.

Taking Leo from Ben, while helpful to her, was possibly not in the best interest of her child. She had a right to be selfish, but the time for that to end was quickly approaching. She needed to prepare for that, and playing trains with Leo was not going to solve the issues at hand.

“Maybe later tonight sweety,” she cooed. “Mara wants to play with you while Luke and I have to do grown-up things.”

Leo pouted and smacked his tiny fist onto the floor. "No! We play!"

“Leonardo Niima, you will listen to Miss Jade and behave. Good boys get to play, naughty boys don't get bedtime stories," Rey scolded, her tone soft but firm. She had long ago perfected her ‘mom' voice. Tantrums from the toddler were common, and he was _not_ going to turn out as spoiled as Ben Solo had. Not on her watch.

"Yes, mama," he looked down and appeared properly chastened.

Rey stepped forward, sank to her knees and kissed her son’s mane of black curls. “I’m sorry, sweety. I’ll make it up to you, but thank you for being a good boy and understanding.”

He threw his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. "Love you, mama."

“Love you too, my little Lion,” she placed a sloppy, wet kiss to his cheek.

Leo squealed and gave her a gentle push. "Mara and Leo play now. Mama do grown up stuffs! Play later."

Rey felt the tension from her earlier encounter with Ben ease. Her little negotiator was going to be as apt at the art of negotiation as Armitage had been. Satisfied her son was being cared for, she stood up and fixed a glare onto Luke. “Let’s go Skywalker, we have a _lot_ to talk about.”

 

* * *

 

“So you’re telling me that Armie decided it was in _both_ our best interests to allow Ben into our lives?” Rey shook her head in disbelief.

Luke held up his hands, "I'm just the messenger. The kid had his mind made up before he even talked to me about it. I still think it's a terrible idea, but it's what he wanted."

Rey let out a strangled growl. Oh, she could have shaken the man if he were still with her. "So, he decided to leave this part out during our goodbyes."

Luke shrugged. “Well, would you want to be dealing with you right now? Let the man have this one. He did have some sound reasons.”

"Like he was high as a kite on morphine? Because honestly, thinking having Leo and me in the same house as that man is insane. If he weren't dead I'd have him institutionalized.”

“Seems like his jokes worked at least,” Luke pointed out with a bitter smile.

Rey screamed. “I swear to god! Are all the men in my life going to be insufferable prats?”

“Leo’s fine.”

“Of course he is, I’m raising my son right!”

“Then again, he’s just a kid. Wait until puberty. Men are genetically engineered to be pricks.”

Rey threw her hands into the air. “We’re getting off subject here. Armie wanted Leo, you and I to live in Ben’s house for a year. I can understand wanting Ben in Leo’s life, he _is_ Leo’s father. It doesn’t excuse his mistakes, and sure Leo could benefit from having his father in his life, but why do I have to be involved?”

“You two have a kid together. You’re going to be bound for the rest of your lives. That's not something you can run away from. I know you, Rey, after all the therapy you're stronger than you were even before all this. You can do this, whether or not you _will_ is up to you,” Luke advised.

“I just- how can I trust him not to hurt us? To make it worse?” Rey trembled, admitting her fears to her only confidant left.

“Then trust _my judgment._ You do this, I’m not going to let my nephew run circles around you. I could have told him where you were staying, which of the kid's houses he set you two up in. Instead, I let my idiot nephew know nothing. I made sure he worked on his shit and convinced my sister to force him to get the help he needed. He became-"

“A drunk, I know. I read his letter, Luke,” Rey whispered. “That doesn’t excuse his behavior!”

“Well, of course not. But it did give you some answers. You really think if you two had sat down and talked like adults any of this would be happening?” he pressed.

Rey bit her lip, she had long thought about that very fact. “No, it wouldn’t.”

“Then maybe you should both try and be adults in this, take the olive branch and try - for Leo. For your son, and only him. No one’s asking you to get involved with Ben-”

“That’s just it! The fucking moron proposed!” Rey hollered.

Luke leaned back in the wingback chair. “Oh,” he heaved a sigh. “No one ever said Ben was very smart, but I never thought he was this big of an idiot.”

Rey chuckled. “I’ve told you all for years he was insane.”

“True. Still, he really asked you to marry him?” Luke shook his head.

"For the year duration. Even offered everything to me without a fight if I want to leave afterward. He said he wouldn't even fight me on custody," Rey added with a snort. "Like I'd believe that load of bullshit."

Luke straightened in his chair. “Get it down on paper. Make it part of a prenup. Have your banshee lawyer draw it up and go over it with a fine tooth comb.”

Rey continued to laugh at the absurdity of it until she saw the serious features on the grumpy man’s face. "Oh, you're serious. But-"

“As a heart attack,” Luke smirked. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

Rey frowned. She didn’t appreciate not seeing every angle. If Luke knew something, he sure better be opening his cryptic mouth and telling her, or instead of yelling she was going to start hurling things in his general direction.

“Realize what?” she demanded.

“That you hold all the cards here. If he’s asking you to marry him, he still wants you. You and Leo both. If that’s the case, I’ll bet he’s willing to do just about anything to win you back and fix this whole mess he made. I say give him enough rope to either tie you down – with your consent,” he added in a rush at seeing anger quickly darken her face, “or hang himself. Either way, you and Leo win.”

“But what if he-”

“What if’s and maybe’s aren’t worth shit. What is, will be, what will be - is,” Luke answered in that cryptic monk air he used when trying to sound wise.

It drove her crazy.

“You sound more and more like your mentor every day,” she groaned.

“But he’s right. Give it a shot, and if Ben steps out of line I’ll yank the both of you out of there, and you can sic Amilyn on him. When that woman gets a bug up her ass, ain’t no one on this earth who can stop her. It’s why Hux picked her to be on retainer for you for life.”

“I need to think,” Rey finally admitted after a pregnant pause.

“Of course. Go take a bath or something, calm down, and just think about what I said. I’ll support whatever you decide, kid. Just be sure it’s best for the both of you.”

Rey watched Luke leave the sitting room they had been occupying for the past half hour. Taking his advice for a bath sounded like a good idea, at least. The rest she would mull over.

 

* * *

 

Rey stared down at the letter in her hands. It had been two weeks since she had buried her lover. Two weeks since she heard his insane stipulations for the inheritance he left for her and Leo. Two weeks since she had set her eyes on her ex. Two weeks of flitting between deciding to make it on her own, or deciding to take Ben up on his offer - if only to get him out of her and Leo’s lives forever.

Neither answer was easy. Neither answer gave her a clear path ahead. Both had pros and cons, and she had been weighing them. She was still no closer to an answer than the moment he proposed.

Rey snorted and rolled her eyes. Ben Solo had never been a patient man. That he was still sitting around waiting for her was impressive. Luke had sent Mara to check for them. He was staying at one of the small, locally owned bed and breakfasts. Not a five-star hotel, but someone's home.

That was more akin to the old Ben than the monstrosity he became when he was drunk and fucking that harpy. It could all still be an act, but when he was on his knees literally crying before her, a part of her reacted to that. Seeing him break down, all but crawling towards her – it made her feel powerful, in control. It also caused a twinge of pain to pull at her chest.

Ben had always been proud. To see him begging on his knees… she looked at the letter in her hands again. She studied the words and wondered if they would have been more beautiful had he handwritten them. She did find his calligraphy a sight to behold. She had long ago memorized the words on the page.

She had read the letter more times than she could count over the years.

_Dearest Sun,_

_I cannot begin to tell you how much I ache over what I have done to you. You - who deserved none of this - never deserved any pain. Know that I am aware of just how much I have failed not only you, but our children. If I could take it all back, I would. I would turn back time and send you into Hux’s arms just to spare you all this, my dearest one._

_You may not be aware, but he adores you as much as I do. He always has, apparently. If you were to find some happiness with him, I would not fault you for that. I have done so much to be undeserving of you, while he has been nothing but supportive of you._

_He attempted to curb my drinking, make me see reason. I should have listened to him, I earnestly wish I had. Instead, I pushed even him away in my own hurt, and only further compounded on the wrongs done to you, my heart. He never once participated in besmirching your good name. You should trust him, as I should have done._

_I can not begin to make amends towards you without first rectifying my own faults. I've finally begun therapy, both for my newly acquired alcoholism, as well as my lifetime of anger issues. I need to work on myself so that one day, if you agree, I might make up for the hurt I've caused you._

_If you allow it, I will pay back every tear, every dark thought, every ounce of agony, every moment spent alone. I do wish to make this right, Rey. None of my words spoken in anger were true. You have always been my everything. Perhaps that was why I lashed out so viciously against you._

_It is no excuse for my abhorrent actions and words, but it is the only answer I can give you right now. I owe you so many more answers, but I have to find them first. Please forgive me and allow me time to find them for you. I will not keep you waiting forever. Though, you are welcome to keep me waiting forever._

_There are so many more things I wish to speak with you about, but I believe those are best left to be shared in person. I ask that you tell our son I love him, as I remind Luna of this every night before I drift off to sleep._

_You three are always in my thoughts, and my heart._

_Forever yours,_

_Ben_

Rey read the words and thought about them juxtaposed against the Ben Solo she had seen two weeks ago. If this was all an act she was going to ruin him. But if his words were true – the thought made her heart clench in her chest. If he was truly hurting over this as he claimed – that changed things.

She might never forgive him for what he had done, but how would she ever know if she didn’t give him a chance? Holding onto this pain - this grudge - was so exhausting. She would much rather be done with this situation and just move on with her and Leo’s lives. When she looked at everything this way, would it not be easier to acquiesce to Hux’s wish? A year was not that long in the grand scheme of things.

One year, and then she could be free of this pain.

If she did agree to this, and to his offer, they were doing this on her terms. She had no intentions of taking Ben back. No matter what seeing him again had made her feel - she would hold her ground. She could push those traitorous feelings to the side. Even if time had lessened the pain, it was not gone completely.

She picked up her phone and dialed. After a few rings, the other person answered. "Hello, Amilyn. I need your expertise."

 

* * *

 

Rey stood in the garden, admiring the daisies Hux had planted just for her. Leo was with Luke at the Aquarium. Her son adored animals, and any excuse to go and visit with them he took. Millicent, Hux’s cat, was not the biggest fan of children, but she was now attaching herself to Rey after her owner’s passing.

_Maybe I should consider getting him a dog? Or well, us a dog. He’s still a bit young to have his own pet yet,_ Rey thought while she inhaled the floral aroma of the daisies. It soothed her fraying nerves. Ben would be here at any moment. As much as she did not want him in her home, he did have business with her.

Heather, one of the maids, called out to her. “Miss Rey, Mr. Solo is here and waiting for you in the office per your request.”

Rey turned and nodded at the eager young woman. "Thank you, Heather. That will be all, I'll see myself there."

Rey made the familiar trip towards Hux's office, with Millicent trailing along after her. When she reached the large wooden door, Rey twisted the doorknob, trying to calm her nerves. She caught sight of Ben, leaning against Hux's desk, twiddling his thumbs, head bowed.

A smirk carved itself onto her face. “You know, I have such fond memories of that desk. Hux and I had so much _fun_ on it,” she purred. She wanted to get a rise out of him. A test to see if Ben really was being truthful, or if he was just playing more games.

She allowed the glee she felt at seeing him jump away from the desk - as if burned - to show on her face. “Many times,” she added, digging the barb in deeper. “Actually, I’m not sure how much of this place hasn’t been used - save for Leo’s room.”

She expected his anger, maybe some jealousy, even embarrassment. When Ben just stood there looking at her, she blinked. “I hope he made you happy, Rey.”

“Oh, he made me very happy,” she insisted. “Over and over and-”

“I get that,” Ben heaved a sigh and winced. “Having a beautiful woman like you around is not easy on the libido. I’m sure you drove Hux insane. I remember we were much the same, before everything went to shit,” Ben smirked, his eyes darkening with passion for a moment.

Rey bristled. “That was a long time ago-”

"Too long, I would say. But, you invited me here to discuss what you wanted to do. We should probably get that out of the way first," he shifted the subject and took a seat in front of the desk.

Rey strode over to the desk and settled herself on top of its well-worn surface. She kicked her legs back and forth and pondered where this confidence of his was stemming from. "What are you playing at, Solo?"

Ben shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “You invited me here, Rey. That means you’ve reached a decision. Might as well rip off the band-aid.”

Rey huffed, crossing her arms. “You can just walk out that door if you’re going to keep acting like a smug prat!”

Ben held up his hands. “This isn’t me being smug, Rey. This is me - hoping like hell you’ll agree and masking my fear.”

Rey frowned and asked, “When did you get to be so open?”

“With you, I’ve always been open. I’ve always told you everything. That never went away,” he spoke softly, a smile – one she wished she could forget- spreading across his lips.

She had not prepared for this at all. This was as close to her Ben as she remembered him. The one who shared secret smiles with her, who joked and played, who loved with his whole being. She was nowhere near ready to handle that sort of Ben at all. She cleared her throat and slipped off the desk, pulling open one of the drawers and drawing out a contract she and Amilyn had drafted.

She kept her gaze averted as she handed it over to Ben. Their fingers brushed for the barest of seconds, but electricity shot through her at the contact. Shifting, Rey busied herself with rearranging things on Hux’s desk to avoid looking at Ben. A framed picture he had on his desk caused her to smile softly.

She stole a glance at Ben from under her lashes. Why was she feeling like this? Surely he no longer held any effect on her? She shook herself and managed to wrangle her hormones under control. “That’s what you asked for, my terms.”

Ben barely glanced at the paper before he set it back on the desk. “It’s a prenup...” his words hung heavy in the air.

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Rey snapped.

“It’s not about what I want, Rey. This, even trying to make things better between us, is about you. I’ve done some thinking-”

“Big shock there. Should I call a doctor?”

“Cute,” he smirked. “You’ve picked up his sense of humor. It suits you,” he mused. “Anyways, I don’t want to do this unless you’re sure it’s what you want, Rey.”

“You made the offer. You don’t get to take it back now! I’ve decided!” Rey growled.

Ben nodded his head. “Then if that’s what you want, I’ll sign it.”

Rey raised a brow, “You’re not even going to look it over?”

“If you take me for all I’m worth, I don’t care. This is for you and our son, Rey. It was misguided on my part to try and force this on you-”

“You bet your ass it was. But now, I’m taking your offer and running with it. You made this bed, Ben, and you’re going to fucking lay in it.”

Ben bowed his head. “I have been since that night, Rey.” He raised his head and those caramel eyes grew soft. “Any time I get with you, I’ll treasure.”

Rey shivered. No, this was not going at all the way she had planned. She needed to get back control of the situation. “Let’s get one thing straight - I’m doing this for Leo. I _will_ be leaving when the year is up, and you _will_ honor your word and leave us alone. Are we in agreement, Solo?”

Ben nodded his head, standing from the chair and walking around the desk towards her. Rey held her ground, but wondered just what the man was up to. He spared the desk a hard look, but then his eyes softened when he turned to look at her again. Kneeling before her, he pulled a chain out from under his navy blue silk shirt. On the chain was a ring – her ring - or at least the one that was once hers before.

Was he serious?

"If we're going to do this, I owe it to you to do this as properly as I can. Rey Niima, mother of my children and love of my life, will you marry me? Will you spend one year as my wife, whatever that brings? Whatever end comes, will you allow me the chance to make this right?” Ben asked, kneeling before her, behind the desk he knew she and Hux had made love on. He lifted the chain from around his neck, offering it to her.

Rey bit her lip. Memories flashed, from happier times, when he had done something similar. Her heart ached with a foreign sense of longing. She shoved those errant feelings aside and yanked the chain out of his hand.

“One year, Solo,” she hissed.

Ben smiled despite her tone, her actions, and her words. He knelt there, smiling up at her like – like she was his sun. “Then I’ll return to the inn. Let me know when you’re ready to head to America. If you need any help with having things moved you can send me the details. I bought a house, I’m not living in that apartment anymore. So there’s plenty of space.”

Rey floundered. “Good - the more space, the better. The less I’ll have to see you!”

“Whatever makes this easier on you, Sunshine.”

Rey’s back stiffened. She scowled down at him. “Don’t call me that!”

Ben held up his hands as he stood. “Oh, I guess that is overstepping a bit.”

“A bit-”

“I’ll try to hold off on the nicknames then. Sorry,” Ben whispered as he took a step back.

Rey shook her head. “Ben...” she whimpered. The single world held more pain and hope than she had felt in years. It escaped from the part of her she still denied existed.

"I'm here for whatever you want, whatever you need, Rey. Take all the time you need, and let me know when you're ready." With that, he flashed her a boyish grin and gave her a wave of his hand before turning to walk out of the room.

Rey watched him until he closed the door behind him. She fell into a heap in Hux’s chair, blinking and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. There was no mistaking it. The man who had knelt before her was not the monster that had been so cruel to her. That was Ben – her Ben - the man who had stolen her heart once upon a time.

She placed a hand over her racing heart and shook her head. Was – was Hux right all along? Had Ben really not been himself when he thought she had betrayed him? Had he become so desperate for a piece of her that he was willing to take whatever scraps she deemed him worthy of?

Her gaze hardened, and her lips thinned. If he wanted to take whatever she gave, then she was _not_ going to make this easy on him. She was going to make him hurt. If he wanted her in his life, he was going to get a whole hell of a lot more than he bargained for.

Rey remembered her rationalizing not seeking revenge to Poe. It only ended in sadness, she had told him. Well, Rey was _not_ Edmund Dantes. She was Rey Niima, and instead of revenge, she was going to take Ben for everything he was worth. He was offering, and she was feeling generous enough to take him up on said offer.

 

* * *

 

Later that night while she was alone, in her and Hux’s bed, she remembered a conversation they had long before they started their relationship.

“ _Stop lying to yourself! You said it last night, you’re still in love with him!”_

_"I was drunk, Hux! Clearly, I wasn't being rational!"_

“ _Love isn’t rational, Rey. Of all people, you should know that!”_

“ _It doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I’m just lonely.”_

“ _No amount of sexual frustration should be making you drunkenly declare you miss Ben Solo! That you wish none of this happened and you two were happily married raising Leo together!”_

“ _If not for him-”_

_"What about the role you played? You never once reached out to the father of your children to talk, Rey! You had second-hand interactions. You never even interacted with Ben until you two met again for the first time by chance!”_

“ _But-”_

“ _No! You can sit there until you are blue in the face, denying it, but you still love him!”_

_Rey cried. “I don’t want to love him!”_

_Hux crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. “I know, love. But you can’t control your heart.”_

“ _He never would have done this if she hadn’t interfered! I don’t even know how she turned him against me!”_

_Hux rocked her back and forth. “She prayed on his fears that he was never going to be good enough for you. She found out you two hadn’t been intimate, and plotted the best way to tear you two apart. You know Ben’s always felt alone. Besides me, you were the only other person he was ever really close to. Phasma’s more of a work friend than an actual friend that Ben thinks he can rely on. Losing you was always his greatest fear.”_

“ _He should have just come out and said he thought I cheated!”_

“ _Yeah, he’s an idiot. Never claimed he wasn’t. But I’ll bet saying it out loud and hearing you say it was true would have killed him. At least that’s how he would have felt.”_

_Rey sniffled. “I hate this!”_

_Hux smiled. “You know how you stop the pain?”_

_Rey blinked up at him. "How? Tell me, Hux, please!"_

“ _You find it in yourself to forgive him. You’ll never get over this until you can forgive him and move past this,” he whispered._

“ _I can’t! I don’t know how!” Rey lamented, her tears now drenching his shirt._

“ _I know, love. We’ll figure it out. I promise. I’ll take care of you, I’ll always take care of you,” Hux promised with a kiss to her forehead._

“ _Thank you, Hux. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Rey yawned._

_Hux chuckled. “I’m sure you’d manage.”_

Rey slammed her fist into the down comforter before blindly reaching for Hux's pillow. As she held it over her face and screamed, she pondered - Why of all times was she thinking about that right now? This was only going to complicate things further. So what if she still had residual feelings for Ben Solo? So what if she learned to identify the man from the monster in therapy?

That did not mean a damn thing!

Except it did, and she knew that. She needed to be on her guard, because those traitorous feelings were there, even if they were unwanted. She just needed to prepare herself better. She would be ready to face Ben Solo next time. He was not going to use his charms against her.

She had a sinking feeling that she was fighting a losing battle, and the prize was her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes


	7. Seven Nation Army

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to America. Leo and Ben interact. Two familiar faces make their appearance. Rey makes a huge decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) as always your work was impeccable. You helped me through something rather hard this past week, and I adore you for it. Much love, I'm so glad I met you! <3
> 
> Strap in guys, things take an _interesting _turn.__

Rey stole a surreptitious glance towards Ben. Leo sat beside her, still asleep and snuggled up to her side. She took every ounce of comfort her son could give her. Her brows furrowed watching Ben, who sat across from them staring out the window, one large hand cupping his jaw. He was as impeccably dressed as always, sharp suit, hair perfectly coiffed, face serene and utterly at peace.

They were getting married at the courthouse later that day, but first, of course, Ben needed to stop at the office. Rey looked down at the conservative, pure white Chanel dress she was wearing. She wanted to roll her eyes at the idea of being a virgin bride. She hadn’t been one the last time she was engaged either.

Leo was dressed in a smart, navy blue button-up shirt and khaki pants. How Ben had convinced her son to willingly dress nice still eluded her. At least he had not thrown a fuss. His hair was just as perfectly styled as her _fiance’s -_ Leo, who cared more about playing in the dirt and roughhousing, than looking proper. Yet here her son sat, looking every bit the future heir he was.

Rey had hoped she could have some time to organize her office. She had made sure Hux’s desk came with her across the pond. It was a low blow to Ben’s pride, but he had said nothing on the matter. His easy dismissal -or encouragement- of her relationship with Hux still blew her mind.

“Do you want to wait in the car with Leo?” Ben asked, bringing her from her musings.

Rey tilted her head, leaning against the cool glass. She considered just sitting and waiting, but she would have to face the people of her past eventually. Her eyes hardened - she had _words_ to share with them. She would much rather meet the people who betrayed and abandoned her on her own terms.

“If I go, my son’s coming with me!” Rey declared with a hushed hissed.

Ben just continued to smile. “Of course, you are both more than welcome. I only need to rearrange my schedule and gather up all the work I’ve missed the past month.”

Rey nodded her head. She lifted her chin and nodded towards the door once the car stopped. “After you, Ben.”

Ben slid across the leather seat of the Limo, opening the door and stepping out. He thrust his arm back and held the door open for her. Rey bit her lip before smacking his hand away. “I am perfectly capable of getting out of a car on my own.”

“Of course, Rey.”

He was still being passive, she noted.

 

* * *

 

Rey was bored to tears, sitting in Ben’s office while he worked on his computer. Leo had yet to wake up - the jet lag was still getting to him. They had just gotten off the plane a few hours beforehand. No one had looked twice at Rey and Leo, which unnerved Rey. She wanted answers, but it seemed Ben was waiting until they were at his house before risking getting into another row.

Maybe he was learning, Rey mused. A knock at the door caused Rey to perk up. Finally, there was something to do besides sitting beside her son on the plush couch in Ben's office. She choked on her sigh of relief when she saw the blonde amazon standing before her.

“Rey?” Phasma’s voice trembled.

“Fancy seeing you again, Phasma? How have you been?” Rey asked, keeping her tone light.

“I-um I’m doing alright,” she composed herself, but Rey watched the woman’s gaze wander to her son. She laid a protective hand on the small of her son’s back. “Is that him?”

“Who?” Rey feigned ignorance.

“Your son?”

“Oh, the one I was pregnant with when Ben tossed me on my behind? Yes, this is Leo,” she raised a finger to her lips. “He is sleeping, so best keep our voices low.”

Phasma’s lips twitched, “Oh, of course.”

"Phasma, do you have a reason for being here? Or are you just here for the gossip?" Ben intoned from his desk.

Rey barely contained a roll of her eyes. “Oh, don’t mind us, Ben. Can’t a couple of girls catch up while you finish everything here?”

Ben offered her a smile that made her heart jump. “I don’t mind as long as you’re fine with it, Rey.”

Phasma stood between them, her jaw opened and head swiveling between them. “You, you two made up?”

Rey hummed. "We're working on things. For Leo's sake." It was the most neutral answer Rey could give. She wanted to stalk over to the woman and smack the ever-loving hell out of her, but she held herself back and continued to play the calm and collected woman Hux had trained her to be. Wearing her emotions on her sleeve made her an easy target. If she acted cool and collected at all times it generally threw people off.

Hux, as always, had been right.

“Oh, well that’s good to hear. I hope you know how sorry we all were when we found out-”

“Phasma, you can go. If you want to apologize to my future wife you can do it somewhere other than the office. Rey has more class than to tear into you here,” Ben hissed. “Do not take advantage of the situation.”

“Yes, because you’re not taking advantage at all.”

“Well, last I checked I was Leo’s father, not Phasma,” Ben flashed her a smirk.

Rey did not resist the urge to roll her eyes this time. “Jerk.”

Phasma continued to look between them. “What’s going on?”

“Quite frankly, this is none of your business. Perhaps if you could have controlled that wagging tongue of yours none of this would have happened. At least Hux had the good sense not to blab to Bazine about our former sex life,” Rey simply blinked, seeing if Phasma could counter her.

“I- I have work to do. I just wanted to inform you Alistair Snoke is here to see you, Mr. Solo.” Phasma’s demeanor shifted into a collected mask. All business, no pain, except for her blue eyes shining with _something_.

Ben groaned. “I said no meetings. I’m rather busy, Rey and I have a lot to do this week,” he shook his head. “Tell him I’ll be leaving the office in a few minutes, and I am _not_ sorry for wasting his time.”

Rey found this odd. Last she knew Ben was courting Alistair Snoke as a potential business partner. She had always thought the man creepy and had cautioned Ben against trusting him. At least he listened to that piece of advice, she hoped.

“Sir, he’s rather insistent-”

“I don’t give a flying crap what Alistair Snoke wants. I have a family to look after. He can take his wrinkled ass and his shady business elsewhere! I thought I made that perfectly clear!" Ben roared.

Rey wanted to yell at Ben, but the damage was done. Leo was squirming against her side and crying. “Oh, look what you’ve done now. It’s okay, baby. Daddy was just grumpy about work. You can go back to sleep.”

Leo shook his head and swiped at his sleepy eyes. “No sleep!”

Rey heard the scraping of Ben's chair against the floor and his hurried steps. When he was kneeling before them both she finally dared to look at him. The soft look in his eyes as he wrapped his son into a hug caused a twinge of pain in her heart. "Leo, your mama and I just need a little more time. Once we get done with everything you can meet Kylo, but only if you're good for your mother."

Rey frowned. “Who’s Kylo?”

"Daddy has a big doggie! He's _this_ big,” Leo cheered, tantrum averted, holding his hand up as high as he could.

“You have a dog?” Rey tilted her head, biting her lip.

“Dad always said Chewie got him through the worst times. Turns out the old man was right. I’ve had Kylo about a year now,” Ben shrugged.

Rey slammed her fist into her open palm, realization about something dawning on her. “That’s how you convinced Leo to let you dress him nicely!”

Ben just smiled. “Of course! Leo’s a big animal aficionado. Right, little man?”

“Yeah! Leo’s aminal a fish tornado, Mama!" he smiled and leaned into his father's arms. "Daddy, you all done?"

“You know what? Yes, I am.” He turned to address Rey, a pleased grin across his face. “I might need to visit the office again in a few days, but I should be all set. You ready to go?" Ben tickled Leo's side.

“Haha! Let’s go!” Leo laughed at Ben’s ministrations.

Rey had always known Ben would make a wonderful father, but seeing him with Leo like this the past day had only solidified her position. She could feel her resolve to keep Ben out of Leo’s life falling to pieces with each adorable interaction. How could she deny her son something so precious as having a father?

_A family._

Rey allowed herself to be pulled along by her son’s grasp of her dress. “Leo, no running indoors.”

“Awww! But mama-” Leo whined.

“No buts young man. You heard your mother,” Ben’s soft, stern voice sent chills up her spine. Ones she really did not want to address at the current time.

She watched Ben lean down and pick up their son. Seeing him with Leo on his hip, smiling without a care in the world, it made them really look like the picture of a happy family. A smile crept onto her lips as she fussed with her son's hair. "Don’t you want to see your father’s big doggie? You have to behave, Leo!”

"I'll be good, pwomise!" he swore.

As a group, the three left Ben's office, with Rey flicking out the lights. As she turned, she walked straight into Ben's back. Rubbing her nose, she was about to tell Ben off when she peered around his shoulder, her eyes widening in shock. She instinctively reached out for Leo, lifting him out of his father's hold.

The wrinkled elderly man - who had always given her the willies - stood just a few feet in front of him. He smelled sickly sweet, and Rey felt nausea bubble up inside her. She tucked herself behind Ben. No matter how angry she was at him, she had never truly feared Ben. No, the one encounter she had with Alistair Snoke still chilled her to the bone.

“Ben,” she whispered into his ear, “what’s going on?”

“Oh come now, surely that beautiful co-worker of yours mentioned I was here for our meeting?” the man smirked, his already deformed face twisting further.

“I had no meetings scheduled this far out. I’ve been away for the past month. If you’ll excuse us,” Ben kept his voice level and firm.

“Oh, but I had cleared it with your secretary last week. I’m sure this won’t take long, my boy. Your,” he coughed, “friend and her child can wait outside for a few minutes I’m sure.”

Rey bristled, but it was Ben who lashed out. “Rey is my fiance, and Leo is _our_ son. I have not officially returned to work, and will be working from home for the foreseeable future.”

“Oh, well then I shall accompany you to your lovely home, yes?”

Rey wanted to scream - this man was purposefully not taking the hint. Armitage had easily been able to run this man off, he was the one who warned her about Snoke in the first place. “No, I don’t feel comfortable with my future husband conducting business in our home around our son. I don’t want him exposed to strangers that way.”

Ben turned his head to the side and offered her a small smile. "You've heard her. Having four ex-wives, I'm sure you understand the importance of letting a woman have her way, Alistair."

Rey nodded in agreement. “Sorry for the inconvenience. Ben is quite booked this week,” she drew on every one of Hux’s lessons to keep herself calm and collected.

"Ah, I see. Well, you do have years of catching up to do. I'm so glad you were able to find them after searching for so long. I can excuse the need to reacquaint yourself with your family after so much has happened," what Rey supposed would have been a smile crept across the man's lips, it looked more like a sneer to her, though. "So glad you two have decided to pick up where things left off."

Rey felt Ben's hand grasp hers. She made a split second decision and intertwined their fingers. "You shouldn't listen to rumors, Mr. Snoke. More often than not they prove false. Ben and I are very much in love, as to why he sent me away, well, I can't speak on that matter. It’s private."

Rey felt Ben tense in her hold. “We’ll be going now,” Ben asserted, taking a step to the side.

“We shall reschedule the meeting for a later time then.”

“No. I’ve told you before Alistair, we will not be doing business together. I’ve tried being polite for my son and future bride's sake. Clearly, that isn't working so-"

“Piss off, and take your shady business elsewhere,” Rey finished with a smirk.

Leo gasped. "Daddy! Mama said a bad word!"

Ben smirked, “Yes she did. She’ll have to face punishment at home.”

“Mama doesn't get to play with Kylo!" the frowning boy declared. "Can we go now, Daddy?”

“Of course, little man. Alistair, I hope you’ll be able to find your way out?” Ben sneered down at the twisted old man.

If the so-called smile had made the man look twisted, the look of fury turned him into a monster now. "I'll be in touch."

Ben pulled Rey along at a fast pace, her heels clicking along the tiled floor. They did not stop until they boarded the elevator. When the doors closed on Alistair Snoke's approaching face they both heaved a sigh of relief. Rey turned to Ben, her eyes searching his.

“I’m not in business with him,” Ben started.

“Obviously! At least you listened to Armie and my warnings about him,” Rey shivered. “He still gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

Ben frowned and ran a hand through her hair. “I won’t let him hurt you, Rey. When he threatened you, I cut all ties with him. I promise.”

Rey flinched. How had Ben found out? She told Hux, but he swore to keep it secret. If he had broken that promise to her – well, she would never know the reason. She only hoped it was the final nail in the coffin to convince Ben not to get into bed – professionally – with the shady man.

Rey continued to shake, a more important question humming inside her. “Why is he even here?”

Ben shrugged, pulling his hand away from her hair. “I don’t know.”

Rey worried her lower lip. “It was a power play, has to be. Show up when I’m here and all but threaten you. What was he going on about you searching for me?”

Ben ran his hand through his hair. “He came to me a year ago, claiming he wanted to help search for my ‘errant woman’. I told him I had all the help I needed, and he could shove his offer up his,” he paused and looked towards Leo, “bum.”

Leo snorted. “Daddy said bum!”

Rey tried to keep her face serious. “Isn’t bum also a bad word Leo?”

He shook his head. "Nuh uh. Bum is this!" and he pointed to his own. "It's not a bad word."

Rey laughed, and Ben offered a chuckle. "Oh, the logic of children."

"Daddy, I don't like that man," Leo admitted quietly.

“Good. Daddy and Mama don’t like him either,” Ben agreed. “You want me to take him or...”

Rey blinked, she was still trembling a bit, but her fear was abating. “I’m good. You can be our human shield.”

Ben nodded. “Of course. Sorry about that.”

"Thank you," Rey felt an urge to lean closer to him but waved it off mentally. "For looking out for us, I mean."

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Rey,” his words were tender.

_This day could not get any weirder_ , Rey thought.

 

* * *

 

Rey stared up at the house, her jaw hanging open and her fists shaking at her sides. She knew this house, intimately. Her gaze narrowed as she glanced at her husband. He gave her a sheepish grin, which only riled her further. She turned her attention from him to stare back at the house she had fallen in love with years before.

“It’s our house,” she finally bit out.

“I bought it for us, you said it was perfect. I, well, I had wanted to surprise you at the wedding,” he shrugged and offered her a small smile.

“I can’t believe-”

“There you three are!” Mara Jade called from the porch. She strode forward, cutting through the building tension with ease. “Luke and I have been wondering what took you both so long.”

“Long line,” Rey bit out.

"How did the meeting with my parents go?" Ben asked, stepping forward.

"You'll have to talk with Luke about that," Mara answered before focusing on Leo. "I heard you've been a good boy. Should we go see your new playroom?"

Leo shook his head. "No, I want to play with Kylo."

Ben shook his head. "Maybe in a little bit, Leo. Your Mama and I need to have a grown-up talk."

Leo groaned. "Again? No more grown-up things. I've been good! It's playtime, now!" he demanded.

"Leo, I heard your Daddy got you a whole train set you can ride on! You want to see it?" Mara oozed with excitement.

It seemed to be enough to catch the little boy’s interest. “I guess,” he pointed at his parents. “But we play with Kylo later.”

Both nodded to his demands and watched him follow after Mara Jade with an excited shout. Rey rounded on Ben when the door to the house was shut. “You bought the house? Was _she_ ever inside it?”

Ben shook his head, hair whipping around with the force of his denial. "No, this was _our_ home. I started living here eight months ago after I read Hux's second email."

Rey continued to stare at the man who was now her husband. “Show me.”

“Of course, I can give you the tour now, I just thought you’d want to settle in first,” Ben ran his hand through his hair and straightened himself. He offered Rey his arm and she lifted a perfectly manicured brow at him.

“Not the house, the emails,” Rey explained.

“Oh,” she watched Ben wilt.

She followed him through the house, earthy tones and muted colors matching the oak wood floors. The décor was sparse, but Ben never had been one for decorations. Their steps were the only sound made as they walked up the staircase towards Ben's office on the second floor. He opened the door and led her inside.

Rey's eyes focused on his personal computer, and she made her way over to his desk. She tapped her foot and tossed a quick glance towards Ben, who was hovering by the door. "Well?"

Ben shook his head, slumping even further as he sat gingerly in the chair. Rey watched his fingers click and glide across the keyboard. After a few moments, she was staring at the first email Hux had sent. She scanned the words, and a smile spread across her lips. Hux had warned Ben off. It was odd he was willing to give his best friend and rival time to get himself sorted before pursuing her.

At the same time, it was such a Hux thing to do.

“And the other one?” Rey questioned, tapping her fingers on her forearm.

Ben swallowed audibly. "If it won't cause you any more pain..."

Rey rolled her eyes and bit out a retort. “I’ve suffered enough pain at your hand, this is nothing.”

Ben seemed to be mulling this over, and just as her patience was about to expire he opened the other email. The words laid out in this email brought her both laughter and a deep sense of longing. The little time they had brought joy to their lives, but even Hux had known it wasn’t going to last. He had resigned himself to his fate the minute he heard his prognosis – despite her best efforts to change his mind.

When she read the crafty man had told Ben of the ‘in’ he had left him, Rey simultaneously wanted to throttle Armitage and hold him close. “He never could just let things be.”

“No, he liked to fix things, just like you do,” Ben whispered.

Her eyes caught the framed photograph of herself and Ben on his desk and wanted to take the golden frame and chuck it across the room. She was consciously not thinking about their quick and professional signing or a marriage license in the courthouse. She cast her gaze around the room and gasped.

There on the wall next to the door was a framed painting. One she knew had not – could not – exist. There was Leo from when he was an infant, herself, and Luna. Except they were not in a hospital, and her daughter did not look sickly or near death. Rey’s painted image was even smiling at her two children. All three were dressed in white gossamer gowns and were sitting in what looked to be some magical forest.

Tears came to her eyes and she turned back to face her husband. Her words stuck to her throat, and she threw a hand backward and pointed. She watched Ben's face soften even further. "I had it commissioned after I got out of rehab. I needed something to focus on to get myself through the day. I never got to even see my daughter. I wanted something pure to remember her by. To remember all of you, if I’m being honest."

Rey felt a cacophony of emotions swell within her. She pushed against Ben's chest and watched the chair tip and start to fall. She screamed, and tears burned down her cheeks. Ben stood, and she flew at him in a rage. She beat her fists against his chest, her pain, her rage, her hurt all pouring out of her like a maelstrom. Through it all, he stood and took her fury, his eyes soft and filled with compassion, his smile small, but welcoming.

When her arms tired she sagged against him, weeping over the pain – the ache lessening- as time wore on. When his arms wrapped around her, she surged once more before biting out, “I hate you!”

Ben only nodded. “Then hate me, Rey. If that’s what you need.”

What she needed? She had no godly idea what she needed. “You did this to us!”

“I did,” he agreed.

“Why can’t you just leave us alone?” she wailed.

“Because I owe it to you to make this better. To make your pain lesser. Whatever you need, I am here for,” his words were spoken so gently, her entire body felt caressed.

“You broke my heart!” she cried.

"And I thought you had broken mine! You're still holding on, Rey. You need to let go, because if you don't you'll never heal. We can't change the past, we can only keep moving forward. If you don’t want me to be a part of that, fine, but you need to just let the pain go.”

She railed against this with her whole being. The truth in his words, the vehemence with which he spoke them, shook her to her core. She could not face it, did not want to face this truth. The one thing her therapist kept insisting she had to do, she never could. Letting go of the pain, the betrayal, the hurt, it kept her going – fed her enough energy to keep surviving. Hux distracted her from the pain, and Leo was her reason to keep getting up in the morning.

She had no reason to look to the past and let it go. Not before Ben entered her life again. Now he was here, and she was having to face the very past she had long run from. The truth was that no matter his actions, she too held a piece of the blame. Had she only reached out, ignored the others, and just spoken with Ben, maybe they could have saved themselves a lot of pain.

She knew this, but she still blamed a part of herself for her stubbornness. Had she just let go of her own pride, Luna might still be… She trembled, the pain crashing into her like a wave, and with it Ben's arms encircled her. Held her steady against the onslaught. He anchored her, and she drew strength from him to keep herself upright. It was warm and comforting in his arms. She needed an escape, and he was there before her, offering himself for whatever she needed.

She gave in to that encompassing warmth and need.

She surged forth and pressed her lips against his. They had not sealed their marriage with a kiss in the courthouse. Now, she pressed her lips to his plush cupid's bow and poured all her anger, her hatred, her sorrow, and her pain into that kiss. She could not offer him love, but if he was so willing to take her pain she would gladly give it to him.

His lips moved across her own, gentle and sure, but that wasn’t what she wanted. She growled and pressed back, trying to get _something_ out of him. Some reaction that wasn’t the timid man he had been the last few weeks. If he was as broken as she was, how could he expect to fix what had broken between them?

Her teeth caught his bottom lip and bit down, tugging, tearing. Her hands flew to his hair and yanked him closer. Her grip was unyielding, demanding. She molded her lips over his and groaned his name.

“Ben,” and with one single word, everything changed.

His hands dug into her shoulders, his body bent and twisted, and she felt the cool surface of the wall as she was pressed flush against it. One hand moved to tilt her chin up, the other to secure her hips. He bore down on her like a man starved for affection. He hungrily devoured her, tasted her with long strokes of his tongue, and groaned into her.

She felt him.

Whimpering into the kiss, tears continued to trail down her face and mingle, the taste bittersweet, and changed. Her nails bit into his skin, and a moan ripped itself from her throat when he ground his hips against hers. She gasped, and his lips left her own only to trail across the flesh of her neck, open-mouthed kisses, nips, and love bites etched into her skin.

“I will take whatever you offer me. I will do anything you want, Rey,” he swore, his lips trailing to her ears. “I’ll fuck you on this desk, or worship you in a bed.”

Rey hummed, yanking on his hair to direct him back to her lips. She did not want to talk. She did not want to face the truth staring at her from across the room. She only wanted to feel – or to lose herself in feeling.

With one long, lingering kiss, Ben pulled himself away. “But, not like this.”

Like a bucket of ice had been dumped on her, Rey scowled up at him. His hands were still where he left them, buried in her hair, and wrapped possessively around her waist. "I want you, no, I need you to just let me feel, Ben."

He shook his head and winced. "Not like this. Being with you is something I’ve missed for the last five years. But this,” he motioned between them, “is not going to be solved by avoiding things and fucking your brains out. As much as I really want to do that,” he emphasized the thought by pressing his hard cock along her thigh.

Rey shook her head before protesting, “But it’s what I want!”

“But it’s not what you _need_ , Sunshine. You’re still in mourning, and I’m not taking advantage of you. I want this to work between us, and if I take you to bed right now, I know it never will.”

Rey bit back a sob - because he was right, but it was all so much right now. "I hate you," she whispered.

“I know, Rey. Hate and love aren’t so different. There is a fine line between them,” he offered her a wounded smile.

Rey pushed him away and watched him stagger backward a step. "I need-"

“Go,” he whispered.

She ran.

 

* * *

 

Rey locked herself in her bedroom before she sat curled up on the bed, the tears finally flowing freely. She let out the pain and hurt still bubbling within her. How could she have thought she could get through this year without facing their past? She had stubbornly refused to face it throughout her therapy, at Hux’s prodding, and at Ben’s pleading. Yet here she was, having to face this moment all the same. No matter how hard - or fast - she ran, it was always coming.

She had come to America with the full intention of making Ben hurt at every opportunity. All she had done so far was further hurt herself. It was more apparent than ever her earlier stance on revenge was the right one. She would never be free of this pain if she kept holding onto it. Her therapist had been right, Hux had been right, and Ben had it right as well. She could run and never heal, or face her problems head-on and come out all the stronger on the other side.

Rey knew her choice.

“ _Leo, I want you to meet someone,” Rey called from the door. Ben stood off to the side, looking terribly awkward shifting from foot to foot._

_Leo's head shot up from his trains and he turned to face his mother. He smiled at her and rushed over. "Who's this, Mama?" he asked from around her legs, pointing up at Ben._

“ _Sweetie, this is your father, Ben Solo,” Rey explained, holding her breath._

_Leo’s grin grew impossibly wide and he screeched in joy and flung himself at the legs of the older man. “Daddy?”_

_Rey kept a close eye on Leo and Ben as he knelt down. The trepidation and joy were warring on Ben’s face. His carefully constructed mask had fallen away at the single word from his son’s mouth. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around the little boy. “Yes, Leo. I’m your daddy,” he choked out._

_"You can finally live with us now? All done fixing things?" Leo asked with a shy smile, hope shining clear across his chubby face._

_"Not yet," Ben tossed a meaningful glance towards Rey. She held back a scoff and scowl. "I was wondering if you and your mother would like to come live with me?"_

_Leo’s face scrunched in thought for a moment. “But all my toys are here,” he pouted._

“ _We’ll bring them with us,” Ben smiled softly._

_"Oh, okay then," Leo turned to face her with the most adorable puppy dog pout. "We can go with Daddy, can't we Mama? Pwetty Pwease!"_

_She had to hand it to her son, he knew how to get what he wanted out of her. He acted cute, and she was hard-pressed to deny him anything. She offered him a smile. "We can try it out for a while, see if we like it." She had no intentions of staying longer than the year required, and she did not want to make Leo think it would be permanent._

_"Okay, and if we don't like that house, we can just come back here!" Leo decided as if it was as easy as that. Rey felt her heart twinge, a truth hovering over her like a knife._

_Ben, who was still kneeling on the ground, asked, “Want to show me your favorite toys, little man?”_

“ _Yes! Come on, Daddy!” he tugged his father along, pulling him deeper into the room._

_Ben engaged with her son in play with an eagerness she had not seen from him in years. The large goofball was completely enchanted with Leo. Rey had to agree, Leo seemed equally as enamored with his father. As if no time had passed at all, Leo had accepted his father, and Ben his son._

“ _And this is my favorite train! He’s the fastest!”_

“ _Oh? And why is that?” Ben asked._

“ _Because he’s the best!”_

“ _Of course!" Ben beamed at Leo as if the kid had just enlightened him._

“ _Silly Daddy! You can play with this one, it was Uncle Hug's favorite," Leo offered the red train to Ben._

_He gingerly grasped the train and nodded. “I’ll take good care of it,” he swore._

_Seeing them together warmed her heart. She could survive one year of this, for her son’s sake. Leo deserved to have Ben in his life._

Rey had been wrong. While she knew she could survive this, it was not for Leo's sake alone. Ben was not the monster she had made him out to be, or the one who held all the blame for the failure of their relationship. She needed to let that all go.

That must have been why Hux had left that stipulation, she reasoned. He had always known Rey, sometimes better than she did herself. He had offered her this last gift, to heal their broken family. She was going to take this path, and see where they all ended up. She just needed some time before she could face Ben properly and sort this whole mess out.

She was going to do something she hadn’t done in nearly five years - take some time for herself. She felt like garbage, and a wave of nausea rolled through her as she thought about how she acted that afternoon. Jumping on Ben like that was a mistake, and as much as she had wanted to make him hurt, it made her no better than he had acted five years ago.

Yes, she had a lot to sort out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys
> 
> Bonus Note: When I write for Ben I listen to a LOT of Backstreet Boys. I ALMOST used "Incomplete" for Chapter Three. It was my original choice before I fell in love with this Hux and decided he and Rey would have a relationship. The next chapter was almost "Shape of My Heart", but ultimately "Crawling Back to You" won me over by title alone.


	8. Crawling Back to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a pity party in the shower. At the Dog Park, an old Nemesis returns. A trip to the Hospital complicates matters further. Or does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) is best Beta! Thank you so much hun!

It had been a month since Rey and Leo had moved in, and she was _still_ avoiding him. Ben could not hold it against her – he held himself to blame. Feeling her pressing herself against him had all but robbed him of any sense. Once more it brought to light how Bazine had paled in comparison, had failed to fill the void Rey left in him.

He groaned into his fist, the hot spray of water doing nothing to release the tension in his shoulders. Wet hair clung to his scalp, and he lowered his head and glared at his aching cock. Every morning he woke with memories of that encounter. The feel of her lips against his own, the taste of her skin, the sultry sounds of her moans.

He took himself in hand and palmed his cock, losing himself in his memories of Rey. His grip tightened as he began a slow steady rhythm, from base to tip, where he would twist his hand, then glide back down to the base. The water helped mask that he was jerking off to a memory. He could just barely pretend he was making love to his Sun. He increased his pace, but it wasn't enough.

He desperately immersed himself in his fantasy – his memories.

He came with a quiet whimper of her name falling from his lips and dripping down his body, to be lost down the drain. He bit into his fist, and while he hated that he had to take himself in hand, it was much better than not having Rey in his life at all.

Pity masturbation over for another morning, Ben pushed this aside - reminding himself of his plans for the day. He and Leo had plans to visit the dog park this afternoon with his uncle Luke. Kylo had taken to Leo like a fish to water, and now the two were nearly inseparable. The weekend was Ben's solace because it meant he had forty-eight hours to spend with his son uninterrupted. While work no longer held nearly as much meaning for him, it did keep him from going insane. At least during the week, there was a reason he rarely saw Rey.

His parents had been hounding him for weeks – since the day after he and Rey landed back on American soil – to come visit. As far as he was concerned, he had no desire to drag Rey into that setting. They would have to face them eventually, but she was still mourning Hux, and adjusting to her _temporary_ life here.

God, he hated reminding himself of that fact.

Ben shook his head. He could worry about Rey later, Leo had demanded cinnamon pancakes this morning, and he would not disappoint him. He dressed quickly, casual khakis and a long-sleeved Polo top. It was oddly warm for late October, and he hoped they would have a fair few months of snow. Making snowmen with Leo was an activity he was desperately looking forward to.

He hummed to himself while making the promised pancakes for his son, oblivious to his company. A low cough startled him out of his focus. The pancake he was flipping half falling out of the skillet.

“Gosh darn it,” he hissed, quickly trying to fix his mistake.

“You’re even censoring yourself. Fatherhood suits you, Ben,” Luke chortled.

Ben rolled his entire head, trying to work out a knot in his neck. He could already feel the tension mounting. Luke had taken it upon himself to tease him at every instance. “I have a lot to make up for,” he pointed out.

"Still, Han swore like a sailor up until you went to Leia with your first swear word. He was relegated to the garage for a month after that, if I remember it right."

Ben shrugged. “He should have known better. I won’t be making that mistake,” he swore.

He watched Luke fill a glass with the green slop the man concocted and called a smoothie. He bit back a wince at the abhorrent smell and focused on his pancakes. "So," his uncle began, "I asked Rey if she wanted to join us."

Ben tried desperately to appear fully vested in his breakfast endeavors. “Oh?”

“Still have the worst poker face,” Luke mused.

He failed.

Ben waited for Luke to elaborate, to continue, to do something. Finally taking his pancakes off the skillet and piling them onto a plate he had set beside the oven, he leveled a heavy stare at the man. He watched his uncle guzzle down the green abomination, and decided he was not really that hungry.

His uncle merely raised a brow and tipped his glass further. Ben shuddered and shut off the burner. "So, after breakfast you, Leo and I can go ahead and wrangle Kylo into the car."

Ben began carrying the plate of finished pancakes over to the table. His cantankerous uncle could stay over by the kitchen island with his breakfast - if one could call it that. “Rey’s coming with us, though, we shouldn’t make her have to deal with that uncooperative beast.”

Ben nearly dropped the plate to the ground. He caught himself just in time and set the food down before it met an early end on the floor. “She is?” Ben winced at the excited tone of his voice.

"As I said, no poker face, Ben," Luke flashed him a smirk. "Little lady doesn't want to miss seeing Leo around so many dogs. It's like early Christmas for him."

“I’ll have to take him to the zoo this spring then,” Ben smiled softly, thinking about the joy that would bring to his little man.

“You might want to wipe that goofy grin off your face though, don’t want to scare the kiddo, and your wife,” Luke advised.

“Shut up,” Ben grumbled.

His body shook with the reminder that Rey was technically his wife. Legally sure, but emotionally the divide between them was too large a gap to bridge easily. He had time, and if Rey was willing to spend a morning with him and Leo together in public, that was a win in his book.

The stampede of footsteps thundering down the stairs startled him out of his thoughts. He looked down the hallway and saw Leo running towards the kitchen, with Kylo hot on his heels. The large, pure black Tibetan Mastiff dwarfed his son in size. Kylo had learned very quickly to be gentle with Leo and had taken to trailing after the four-year-old. A defacto guardian.

“Daddy!” he cheered.

Ben kept his face neutral. "Leo, what have your mother and I said about running through the house?"

Leo slowed his pace as he made his way to the kitchen table. “Not to,” he groaned.

“And what were you doing?” he pressed.

“Running?”

Ben nodded his head. “Mhmm.”

“I’m sorry!” Leo whined. “I just want to go to the park!”

Ben offered him a small smile. “I know, but running won’t get us there any faster.”

“Okay,” Leo grumbled. He pulled himself into the seat beside Ben.

Ben placed two pancakes on the boy's plate, buttered and cut them for him. He poured a generous heap of syrup on top of them and smiled at his beaming son. He watched Leo take a bite and cheer.

“Cinnamon Cakes!” he cheered.

Ben had wondered at the odd request the previous night, but he would never deny his son anything. Taking his own bite of the cinnamon flavored hotcakes he hummed in approval. Someone had the right idea.

“Cinnamon Cakes?” the soft voice of Rey came to his ears, stopping Ben’s heart momentarily.

She was practically radiating this morning. It had been almost a week and a half since he had last laid eyes on his beautiful sun. Wearing a cream cashmere sweater and a pair of slim black jeans, she was a vision. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and the few tendrils of hair that framed her face begged to be tucked behind her ears. Her pink lips opened in a small ‘o', tempting him to rush forward and claim them.

He held himself back, barely.

"Yeah, I asked Daddy for them, Mama," Leo smiled, face sticky with syrup.

“Oh,” was Rey’s quiet response.

“You’re welcome to some, I made plenty,” Ben rushed out of his chair to get Rey a plate.

When he turned around, plate and silverware in hand, he saw Rey sitting beside Leo and giving Kylo an ear rub. He tried to set the plate down quietly, but the ceramic clanked loudly against the table. “Armie used to make them for us,” Rey explained when he finally caught her eye.

“Oh, I didn’t know. I can make something else, or-”

"No," Rey grasped his arm and squeezed. She took a deep breath and offered him a small smile. "No, please sit. This is fine, Ben."

Ben nodded his head, eyes wide, and sat down. He pinched himself just to be sure he was not dreaming. Nope, he was awake, and eating his first breakfast with his wife and child. He was over the damn moon. He piled three large pancakes onto her plate, and he could feel the goofy grin returning.

“Eat up then.”

Ben watched Rey practically inhale the pancakes. Well, either she loved them, or was just trying to eat them as fast as humanly possible to get out of his presence. He hoped it was the former, but he was not going to ask. Leo finished first, and Ben decided to let Rey have a bit more space, not wishing to crowd her.

“All clean now!” Leo cheered showing off his clean fingers.

Ben chuckled. “Now what?”

“Teeth!”

Ben watched Leo brush his teeth through the mirror. The two hummed the ABC's twice while they brushed. Together they both spit into the sink, Leo stretching as far as he could while standing on the step stool.

Twin “ah’s!” were released as they straightened.

Ben froze, a bit of toothpaste dribbling down his chin as his eyes locked with Rey's in the mirror. Her face held this softness to it, and he could hardly breathe - he was afraid of breaking the spell. He watched her step forward, take a towel from the rack, and come towards him. She dabbed at the toothpaste on his chin with that same look of quiet happiness.

The domestic feel of this moment made his heart stutter in his chest. “Rey,” he whispered.

“Looks like Daddy’s a bit messy this morning, sweety,” she turned to Leo and smiled. “How about you?”

“All clean! No messes here!” Leo laughed, and carefully hopped off the step stool.

“Let’s go get you dressed so we can go on an adventure,” she encouraged their son, who rushed out of the room laughing the whole way.

“Rey-”

“We’ll be down in a bit, Ben,” Rey turned and her smile was still there.

His eyes burned from not blinking, afraid if he did, when he opened them again the beautiful look would be replaced by a scowl again. “Okay.”

“Thank you for breakfast, it was delicious,” Rey placed her hand on his arm and squeezed.

He watched her walk out of his bathroom and towards the hallway, his jaw hanging open in stunned silence. He thanked every deity known to man for this perfect morning. He had no idea what had changed with Rey, but whatever it was, he loved it.

 

* * *

 

Watching Leo throw a tennis ball for Kylo, laughing to the point of tears as the shaggy beast ran after the ball, had to be the highlight of his life. With Rey quietly standing by his side, Ben finally felt a sense of calm he had thought lost to him forever. He felt grounded again, rooted in reality, with a firm grasp on what he wanted from life.

A happy home and a loving family.

He knew they had a long way to go to repair their relationship, but moments like this, small and innocuous, added up. They could rebuild the foundation, and be stronger for it - if that was what Rey wished. At some point, they would need to sit down and have a very long – and uncomfortable – conversation, but until then, he would relish every happy memory he could create with his family.

“So, you got a dog,” Rey pointed out.

Ben chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, the nervous tick was something he doubted he would ever get over. “Yeah, well, Dr. Kalonia thought it might help not to be alone. I went to the shelter, just to look, and saw Kylo. He looked miserable, and I just _knew,_ you know. Took him home that day.”

Rey shook her head. “Of course you’d pick the largest, most aggressive looking dog on the planet.”

Ben scoffed, “You’ve met Kylo! He’s nothing but a big teddy bear.”

Rey’s lips quirked up into a smirk. “Oh, like you?”

Ben shuffled his feet. “I guess,” he winced.

“Ben,” Rey heaved a sigh, “You’re not a beast. Stop acting like I’m about to turn around and start screaming at you.”

Ben froze, turning fully to face the woman he loved. “Rey, I...” he trailed off, unsure of what to say. This was _not_ the place to begin hashing things out.

“Thank you, for stopping me last month, I mean,” she flushed a beautiful shade of red.

“You’re welcome,” Ben rushed out, reaching towards her, then letting his arm drop just before he could try and pull her into an embrace.

Rey frowned, and Ben cursed himself. He was sure he had once again done something to ruin the moment - or hurt her. "Stop doing that," she stomped her foot.

Ben raised his hands in the air. “Sorry, it’s just hard not to touch you sometimes.”

"Then do it, if I don't want you to touch me, I'll let you know," Rey narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "I'm a big girl, and I know we need to talk, but you acting like I'm about to rip you to shreds really makes things a lot more awkward than they need to be."

“Rey-”

“Give me a damn hug, Ben.”

He did _not_ need to be told twice. His arms were around her before the last syllable of his name left her perfect lips. He felt her warmth spread through his entire being as he buried his nose into her hair. He felt her tiny hands gripping the back of his shirt. He nearly wept, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he breathed her in.

His sweet Rey.

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you yet,” she warned.

“I know, I’ve just missed you so much,” he whispered into her ear.

“We still have a _lot_ to talk about,” she added - her voice firm while her hands roamed his back.

He shivered at the caress, “Whenever you’re ready.”

He felt her nod and continued to hold her for as long as she would allow it. A small tug at his pants pulled him from Rey’s neck. He looked down to see his son smiling up at them.

“I want hugs too, Daddy,” Leo continued to yank on his pants.

Ben bent down and picked Leo up with one arm, the other still stubbornly wrapped around Rey. He brought Leo into the warm embrace, smushed between his parents. Ben peppered his son with kisses until Leo was wriggling and squealing to be let down.

When he set Leo down to run around with Kylo once more, he felt the feather-light press of lips to his cheek. He was floored, turning to Rey and raising a hand to his cheek as if to assure himself he had not imagined the contact. Her lips were pulled into a smug grin, and Ben’s heart beat so loudly he feared she could hear it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Ben mumbled, heat flooding his cheeks and ears.

“You need to pinch yourself again?” she taunted.

“You saw that?” Ben squeaked out.

“Yup,” Rey drew out the syllables, the ‘p’ popping his calm bubble.

"You seem different," Ben hesitated, but he had already started looking the gift horse in the mouth, he may as well dive in headfirst. "Not that I'm put off by it. It's just, well, surprising."

“And you’re insanely curious,” Rey added with a knowing smile, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Yes,” he admitted with a heavy breath.

Rey shrugged, “I’m not sure. I just woke up feeling really good the last few days, and since it hasn’t gone away I decided to go with it. I’m feeling better than I have in a long time. When Luke told me you all had plans to go out, I wanted to come along. He’s kept me updated on you and Leo.”

Ben shifted his weight, still uncomfortable Rey felt she needed a chaperone, but he could hardly blame her for it. If having his Uncle living with them made her feel more secure, Luke could move in permanently for all Ben cared. "You needed time, I was more than happy to give it to you. Spending time with Leo's been the highlight of every day this month."

Rey reached out and took hold of his hand. Ben felt a shock run through his system at the unexpected contact. “I really appreciate it, Ben I-”

“Benny!”

_Oh no! God no, please, not now. Not ever! But dear fuck, not **now**!_ Ben thought as the voice cut clear through the park and stabbed him right in the happiness. He watched Rey's face shift from quiet happiness to full-fledged rage in a matter of milliseconds.

That damned harpy had finally found him. He’d been able to avoid her presence for nearly three years. Now the damn woman had gotten a bug up her ass about him again. He had been ignoring her calls for the last few weeks before his trip to England.

Ben figured after he was out of the country for a month she would get the message. He had blocked her number and screened all calls to his cell. He had left social media after being turned into a pariah for his actions, so she had no way to get a hold of him there. But no, the woman seemed hell-bent on inserting herself back into his life again.

Just when things were starting to look up for his family.

His mother had been fielding the harpy off since his departure to England two months ago. His mother had lamented this to his Uncle during his last visit. Leia Organa-Solo refused to change her phone number, so she was the only one Bazine could contact. His mother seemed glad to snipe at the woman over the phone though – her own form of penance for not lifting a finger to help Rey sort out the mess Ben landed himself in.

“What is that witch doing here, Ben?” Rey hissed.

"Heck if I know. I haven't spoken to her in three years. She called the office a few months ago - after two seconds I hung up on her and ordered Miss Pava to never send her through again. She's not even allowed in the building!" Ben growled, angry at the woman for interrupting what was the best day of his life.

"Ugh, that woman? How in the fuck did you wind up engaged to that?" Rey shot him a look brimming with distaste.

“Alcohol, and imagining she was you while we fucked on occasion,” Ben admitted with a wince.

Rey continued to glare at him. "You still have your two-year chip?"

Ben fished the chip out of his pocket and showed it to her. “Never without it.”

Rey nodded. “Good,” she turned her gaze towards his uncle, who had been doing yoga in the middle of the dog park a bit away from them. She managed to catch his eye and pointed towards Leo.

Ben watched his wife direct Luke without speaking a word, and felt pride swell within his chest. “At least Luke can look after Leo.”

Rey snorted. "I dare that bitch to get near our son. I'd bet Kylo'd run her off right quick."

“So, we’re not just leaving?” Ben asked, unsure of what Rey’s plan was.

"No, we're not letting her ruin another moment of our lives, Ben. We came here to enjoy the nice autumn weather as a family, and she can just go back to whatever hole she crawled out of." Rey swore, venom dripping from her words.

Ben steeled himself for the confrontation that had been looming for almost three years. “You know I love you, right?” Ben whispered.

Rey waved him off. “Not now, I’m putting on my game face.”

Ben would have laughed, had he not witnessed Rey don the stoic mask a few times when he caught her off guard in their home. Watching her pull on that mask - he knew barbed words, masked insults delivered in sugary sweet tones, and a bundle of unbridled rage was about to be unleashed.

At least this time, he wasn’t the target.

“Benny! Didn’t you hear me calling you?” Bazine shouted, now just a few feet behind them.

Rey turned first, so Ben followed her lead. "Oh, hello, Bazine," Rey purred, "Ben and I were terribly distracted watching our son play. How have you been?"

Ben bit his tongue to keep from breaking out into laughter at the horrified look that crossed Bazine's face. He wrapped his arm around Rey's waist and gently pulled her to his side. She came willingly, and splayed her left hand over his heart. He looked down at her beautiful face, the urge to pull her into a kiss burned within him. Instead, he gripped her waist just a bit tighter.

Bazine let out a strangled sound, and he turned his attention back onto the threat before them. “It’s been almost three years,” Ben added.

"It has been a long time," Bazine stuttered out. "I've been alright, I've sure missed you, Ben."

“I-”

“He’s been rather occupied. Getting everything sorted between us has taken a long time, but Ben’s been oh so eager to make up for all his past,” Rey eyed Bazine up and down before pointedly finishing, “mistakes.”

Ben felt both guilt and happiness war within himself. “I’ll never stop trying to make up for everything, Sunshine,” he swore, his guilt winning out.

Rey hummed. “Good. We have our son to think about,” Rey flashed him a soft smile that melted his heart.

“You two are together?” Bazine hissed, hands clenching at her sides.

Rey’s eyes widened comically. “Oh! You hadn’t heard?” A vicious smile curled across her cheeks. “Ben and I got married, just last month actually.”

The shriek that sounded from Bazine had the dogs around them whining and retreating towards their owners. “Seriously?”

“Oh, I’m very serious about Rey,” Ben swore, his voice growing hard.

“But we-”

“Were a mistake bred out of alcohol and loneliness. Every time I fucked you, it was Rey I was wishing was in my bed. For using you like that, for leading you on, I am sorry,” Ben admitted. “I’ve been hers since the moment we met.”

Rey’s arms wrapped around his waist and squeezed. “Yes, Ben and I-”

"You were fucking Hux," Bazine pointed out. "You were shacking up with his best friend for the last two years and nine months!"

Rey froze, and Ben was not about to let Bazine use Hux against Rey. "Hux had my blessing to care for Rey in whatever way she needed. He made his intentions clear and I in no way stopped him. All I ever wanted is for Rey to be happy. Now I have a chance to be the one to make her happy and to be there for our son. I will be doing everything in my power to make that a reality!"

“You, you’re okay with her fucking your best friend? What sort of fucked up polyamorous bullshit is this?” Bazine screeched.

“Control yourself,” Rey admonished. “There are children present.”

“You little-”

“That’s right, I’m shorter than you. I don’t hear Ben complaining.”

Ben shook his head. "Nope. Perfectly content over here," he admitted while casting his gaze around to see just how much of a scene they were causing. Not much by the general reaction of indifference he was seeing.

“So, you’ve got your cheating whore back, and your little brat, glad things have worked out for you so well, Solo,” Bazine spat.

"You listen here, you jealous, hateful woman. Ben and I have had a rough time of it since you decided to lie and manipulate us and his friends. This was not some easily cleared mistake, and we've both lost more than you can ever imagine. You can stand there acting like the jilted lover all you want, but you caused all of this." Rey snapped, her mask falling away leaving her hatred painted across her face clear as the sky was blue.

“And if you’d kept your trap shut, Ben and I would still be happy-”

“Rey, I don’t think we’re going to get through to her. I think we should just leave, get some ice cream with Leo and head back home,” Ben suggested, not wanting to waste another moment of his life on the vindictive harpy wailing at them.

Rey sighed and leaned into his embrace. "You're right. Let's go home, Ben."

“Now you’re just going to leave? Turning tail and running does fit your M.O., Niima!” Bazine taunted.

“It’s Mrs. Solo to you!” Rey exploded.

Ben felt his heart swell, but when Bazine stepped forward he shifted Rey behind him and took the blow intended for his wife. His gaze bore into the seething woman, her face red and splotchy. His words were pitched low, a growling bite promising vengeance hung off his every word.

“If you ever try to hurt my family again, I’ll make you wish you had never met me. Walk away Netal. Walk away, and get yourself some fucking help. So help me God, if you threaten my family again, I won’t hold back,” his eyes narrowed to slits.

“Fuck you, Solo!” she screamed, turning on her heel and running away.

“Wish I never did,” Ben shuddered and hung his head.

He felt Rey’s arms loosen around him, and flicked his gaze towards her. “Well, that went as well as could be expected.”

"Yeah," it hurt knowing most of that was all an act on Rey's part. Ben reminded himself of the progress they had already made. It was more than enough for now. His goals just became clearer in his mind.

“Let’s go get some ice cream then,” Rey tugged at his arm.

He followed her towards the rest of their little family. Leo was mimicking Luke’s Yoga poses, and Kylo was laying down demolishing a tree branch of a stick. Rey suddenly stopped, and Ben had nearly run into her.

“Rey, are you okay?” he whispered into her ear.

“Mmm,” she shook her head, her messy bun bouncing wildly, smacking his cheek. “I just felt a bit dizzy all of a sudden,” she whispered back, turning to flash him a strained smile.

“Rey...”

He watched her eyes flutter closed and felt her body begin to pitch forward. He pulled her into his arms as she went limp. His heart raced as he knelt to the ground, pulling Rey into his arms. He tapped her cheek and kept calling her name.

She wasn’t waking up.

“Rey!” he shouted. “Sunshine, wake up! Please!”

 

* * *

 

Hospital waiting rooms were the absolute worst. He had been quickly directed there after telling the doctor in the emergency room what had happened. He picked up Leo, and had yet to let his son go. Leo was scared, but putting on a brave face. Luke was speaking with an old colleague over at the nurse's station. Everything about today had suddenly gone terribly wrong. He glared at a smiling Jack-o-Lantern taped to the wall. What right did it have to be so damn happy?

He noted the irony of Bazine showing up, and his life crashing around him with a derisive snort.

“Daddy?” Leo asked, his bottom lip quivering.

“Mama’s going to be just fine, little man,” he swore, hugging his son tighter to his chest.

“I dun like it here,” he declared with a pout.

Ben tried his best to smile, but it felt forced. “I don’t either. Hospitals smell funny.”

“Yeah, and Uncle Hugs had to come here all the time. Mama cried a lot,” Leo explained, his face growing serious, a frown pulling at his lips.

Ben would have taken a picture and sent it to his mother had he not been wracked with terror over what was happening with his Rey. “I’m sure she did, but I think Mama’s going to be alright. The doctor will probably just tell her to drink lots of water and eat her veggies.”

“Mama does need to eat more, she’s never at dinner,” Leo pointed out.

Ben hummed, “Perhaps you and I need to keep a close eye on her, then.”

Leo nodded, chest puffing out. “We’ll make sure Mama eats her veggies and drinks her water.”

Ben hoped like hell that was all this was. Something that could easily be fixed with a change in diet, or a prescription. If his Sun was seriously ill, Ben wasn't sure his heart could take it. He already lost Hux and Luna, losing Rey would all but kill him. Leo would be all he had left of his family.

He needed to be strong for his son right now. He could worry later. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. Fears kept rearing their heads, scenario after scenario playing out. Each one was worse than the last. He hated waiting, and patience was never his forte. Hospital waiting rooms were decidedly the worst place on the planet.

Forty-five minutes later the doctor finally ended his stint in purgatory. Smiling was a good sign, and this doctor was practically glowing. He stood, with Leo resting on his hip and waited to hear the news.

“Mr. Solo, your wife is fine. I can take you to her if you’d like,” the woman offered.

Ben nodded, not trusting his words, the breath he was holding rushing out of him. Leo was not hampered by crippling fear. “Let’s go see Mama!”

He followed the doctor to a private room, and held onto the doctor's words, gripping them like a lifeline. When he saw Rey awake and seated on the hospital bed, monitor on the other side, he rushed towards her.

“Sunshine? You’re alright?” he gushed, frenzied gaze scouring over her, checking for anything off about her.

She hung her head and sobbed. "Mama?" Leo whimpered, squirming in his arms.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone for a few minutes,” the doctor called from the door.

Ben barely spared her a glance, to focused on Rey. Why was she crying? He set Leo down beside his mother and watched him crawl into his mother's lap. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed her in. Something was wrong, and Rey needed him – his strength.

“I, oh god this is all so wrong,” Rey continued to sob.

Every shake, every tremble, gripped his heart in a vice and squeezed. “Rey, Sunshine, talk to me,” he begged, dropping to his knees and trying to catch her gaze.

She avoided him, turning her head to focus on Leo. It was like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind from him. How could he help her, how could he come up with a plan if she wouldn’t even look at him? What had he done this time?

“Mama, why are you sad? The lady said you were okay,” Leo pressed his face into her chest.

Ben watched as Rey lifted a trembling hand to their son’s hair and stroked it softly. Figuring Rey needed a minute or two, he pulled out his phone and texted his uncle to let him know that the doctor’s said Rey was fine, but she was still shaken. He then texted his assistant, Mitaka, and made sure he had gotten Kylo home and was on his way back to get them.

His fingers hovered over his mother's name, and Ben considered texting her. His mother was a woman, and she might be more of a comfort to Rey than he was. Then again, they had yet to bury the hatchet, so she was out. He scrolled further up and wondered if it would be worthwhile to call Dameron. The man was still pissed at him, and calling him to let him know Rey was in the hospital would probably cause more damage than harm.

He could take a punch to the face, anything, if it meant Rey would stop sobbing.

“Ben,” she whispered, and his eyes shot to her.

He shoved the phone back into his pocket and knelt down before her again. He took both of her hands in his and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. The tears tracking down her cheeks ripped his heart in two. He wondered if his sweet Rey would always be made to cry.

He despised that thought.

“Rey, my dearest sun, please...” he swallowed heavily. “I just, what’s wrong?”

She choked out another sob, her nails biting into his skin. She kept her gaze fixed on his, and whispered. “I’m pregnant.”

All at once both joy and sorrow chorused together within him. Rey was safe, she was healthy, and she was not going to die. But after what had happened with Luna, her tears, and her fears - they were not unfounded. Then he was struck with another realization.

_His wife was pregnant with his best friends child._

Hux had left a piece of himself behind, and no one had known. It was no wonder Rey was emotionally wrecked by this information. She had just seemingly started getting over her grief at his loss, and now? To know she was carrying Hux's child, he ached for her. The weight on her shoulders just would not give her a moment's rest.

He gathered Rey into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Now a part of him will always be with you.”

This only seemed to cause Rey to sob harder. Could he do nothing right? Was he always going to fail his precious Rey? “Rey, I know this is a lot, but we’ll get through this?”

“We?” she wondered.

"Yeah, Mama! Daddy and I already said we're going to make sure you drink lots of water and eat all the veggies!" Leo declared, snuggling between them.

Rey gave her son a watery smile, “Thank you, sweety.”

“Yes, Rey, we,” Ben continued softly, “We’re a family, and I’m not abandoning you. This changes nothing,” he swore.

“But-”

“Mama, what does pregart mean?” Leo asked, ever the inquisitive mind.

“I, well, it means...” Rey trailed off.

“It means your mother is going to have a baby,” Ben smiled down at his son.

“So I can have another brother or sister? Will this one stay with us, or go be with Luna and Uncle Hugs?” he asked, tilting his head.

Rey whimpered, and Ben felt his own heart lurch in his chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat and shakily answered. “I hope she’ll stay with us. Daddy’s going to have all the best doctors around to help make that happen.”

Rey’s head shot up and she gave him an indecipherable look. “But, this child could-”

“I’ll have the best fetal surgeons on standby. We’ll monitor the crap out of everything, and they’ll be looking for that genetic malformation. We won’t lose another child.” He swore to her, gripping her tighter as if he could stand against genetics and protect the unborn child with his sheer willpower.

No, this child will not suffer his angel’s fate. They’ll know what to look out for this time.

“But this child could still have-”

“I will do everything I can, Rey! Trust me,” he implored.

“It was my crap genetics that gave her the defect. Armie had my genome mapped. It was me, Ben, I did this to Luna-"

“No!” Ben hissed. “You will _never_ blame yourself for what happened to our daughter. None of us could have known. How far along are you, did you tell the doctor your history?”

Rey shook her head. “I was a bit overwhelmed...” she trailed off.

“I’m calling my mother, she’ll recommend the best OB and we’ll go from there. I’ve got this Rey, _we’ve_ got this.”

Rey trembled in his arms. “Yeah, Daddy will take care of you, and I’ll help! We need to have broccoli for dinner!” Leo added, cutting through the mounting tension in the room

“I, well, yes… Yes, that's a good idea, Leo. Thank you, sweetie," Rey continued to stroke his hair.

Ben stood there watching Rey and Leo talk about babies, both worried, but putting on brave faces. His family was a mess, but he was not going to let them suffer another loss. A plan was already forming, and this time he was going to be there for Rey every step of the way. She would not go through this alone. He would protect her, and this child.

He didn’t care if the baby growing inside the woman he loved was his or not. This child was a blessing, and he would not let his pride, nor his own hurt get in the way of that. Sure it bothered him a little that Rey and Hux had found each other. What man wouldn’t be upset the love of his life had found comfort in the arms of another man?

But he had made his bed, and he laid in it. He suffered the consequences of his actions, and he was grateful to even be allowed this second chance with Rey. He would care for this child like they were his own. Blood was only so thick, and the family he had made, Rey and Hux, then later Leo and Luna, they were his family.

Ben had his second chance, and he was not going to waste it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten
> 
> I'd say the fluff is here. There might be another curve ball (angsty section) lurking, but from here on out we are on the road to the HEA!


	9. Fight Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia talk. Rey and Ben TALK. Solo Christmas. Surprise for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) you have my undying love and gratitude! <3 <3 <3

Rey stared across the table at the woman before her. She looked as if she had aged two decades from the last time she had seen her. Her graying hair was pulled into a braided bun at the back of her head. She still wore the white pantsuits she favored. The woman, the myth, the legend. Senator Leia Organa Solo.

"I heard your checkup went well," Leia offered over the rim of her teacup.

Rey took a sip, letting the calming chamomile soothe her warring emotions. She had looked up to the Senator, the woman had been a hero of hers. Now she was no longer intimidated by her girlish worship of the woman. “Yes, Ben’s making sure I attend them. He’s been rather overprotective, taking the OB’s word as law.”

Leia chuckled. “He’s always been single minded. Once that boy gets something in his head, he won’t let it go.”

Rey nodded, “I’m quite aware.” There was no mistaking the bite in her words.

She watched Leia shift in her seat. “Rey, it’s been almost two months…”

Rey shook her head. “I know, but can you really blame me for being a little petty? You know how Ben is, and you did nothing!”

Leia had the good sense to appear properly chastened. “I know, and my reasons are still the same now as they were when we first talked about this. Ben pushed us all away. I had hoped you two would end up talking. In the end, he's my only child, so I took his side. But,” her mother-in-law shared a smirk with her, “maybe I should have grabbed him by his ear like the child he was being and sat him down with you.”

Rey snorted. “He hates you still threaten to do that.”

"Of course he does! He's as stubborn as his father," Leia huffed, setting her teacup down. "And I still occasionally have to drag that man around by his ear.”

“You’re quite stubborn yourself,” Rey pointed out, a smirk pulling the corner of her lips.

“I have to be to deal with those two,” Leia offered her a small smile. “I’m just glad _something_ finally got through to him. We’re all happy to have you back in his life.”

Rey froze her teacup halfway to her lips. She coughed and set the cup down. "You do know I'm still not sure if I'm going to be staying after the year is up."

Leia waved this off. "Oh, we both know that's a load of malarkey. I've seen the two of you these last two months. You can't keep your eyes off him, especially when he's with my adorable grandson."

Rey wanted to bite out a denial, but she knew it would only be a lie. “We still haven’t sat down to have a proper talk, you know.”

“He’s too busy hovering and worrying about the baby,” Leia guessed.

Rey rolled her eyes. "He's insufferable. ‘Rey, put that down, let me. Rey, don't bend over, I can grab the remote. Rey, just sit down and let me clean up Leo's toys. Rey, go take a nap, you're looking a bit tired!' I'm not made of glass!" she ranted.

Leia shook her head, her voice heavy with nostalgia, “Just like his father. You just need to sit him down and tell him to back off.”

“I have-”

"No dear, you need to let that stubborn boy know he's driving you insane. He'll only get worse if he's anything like Han. Hopefully, he's sharing that wisdom with Ben right now," she cast a look towards the garage.

Rey groaned. “I can only hope.”

Leia reached across the elegant coffee table and gripped her hand. “It means the world to me you’re giving us all this second chance.”

Rey sniffed and held onto her stoic mask. "Well, you all better not muck this up!”

"At least now we know that horrible woman was impersonating Phasma. She's pressing charges, you know. It might not be a federal crime to impersonate a CFO, but in Civil Court, Phasma will bleed that harpy dry," Leia gave her a weak smile.

“She did still blacklist me from Ben’s company, and any company he’s partnered with,” Rey growled.

“And that’s why she’s been making herself rather scarce lately,” Leia shifted again. “Now, once my son gets that horrible Alistair Snoke out of his hair, things will settle down.”

Rey frowned at the fact that Alistair Snoke was still rearing his ugly head. “Ben hadn’t mentioned that. Sure, he’s been working in his office a lot more lately, but I thought they weren’t in business together.”

Leia shook her head. “You didn’t hear this from me,” she leaned closer and whispered, “but Snoke has been buying shares and trying to convince board members to sell him their proxies so he can oust Ben from the company.”

Rey slammed her fist into the throw pillow beside her. “But that’s the company your father and his partner Kenobi created! He can’t do that, can he?”

Leia sighed, "He could if he can convince Ahsoka Tano's daughter to give over her mother's shares. Snoke's been hounding her."

Rey frowned, "the Tano's are friends of the family, aren't they? They wouldn't listen to that vile snake."

“The man’s been putting pressure on her over her own business. Ben’s working to deflect him. If only Armitage was still with us. That man could work wonders in corporate shenanigans.”

Rey felt the familiar ache Armitage’s name always evoked. The pain was lessening, but she would always miss his comforting presence. “He ran Snoke off the first time.”

“Yes, he’d have Snoke running in circles, chasing his tail,” Leia squeezed her folded hands. “I miss him, he was good for Ben. You too.”

Rey flushed. "Yes, I miss him every day."

Leia offered her a soft smile. “Well, I’m sure Ben can get out of this mess. Enough about that monster, you’re five months along now. How are _you_ doing?”

“Good, save for Ben’s ridiculous overprotective bollocks. Starving, and craving Mac and Cheese and A1 Steak sauce,” Rey laid her hand over the growing baby bump.

She was starting to show more obviously, baggy clothes could only hide the truth so long. “You look stunning. Motherhood suits you,” Leia cooed. “I felt abysmal until my third trimester.”

Rey frowned. “I’m scared, I know Ben’s doing everything he can, but I’m always terrified every twinge is something going wrong. With what happened to Luna...” she trailed off.

Leia stood and crossed over to the leather sofa and took a seat next to her. “We'll be there for you, Rey. I always wanted more children, but cervical cancer and a hysterectomy robbed me of that. You can't let the fear of what could be eat away at you. It's not a sure thing your little girl will have the same issues. So far they’ve found nothing, right?”

Rey nodded, tears burning and threatening to spill. “Nothing, yet.”

"With any luck, there will be nothing to worry about at all. Just take it a day at a time, dear," Leia wrapped her small arms around her shoulder, and Rey sagged against her mother in law.

“I’m just so scared,” she whimpered, “I can’t fail this little girl, too.”

“You hush, you didn’t fail her. You did everything you could. You’re keeping her memory alive and making sure this never happens again. You’re a good mother, Rey,” Leia swore while holding her in a bear hug.

Those words resonated within the depths of her soul. She wanted so badly to believe them. She knew she could never have known, that there was no reason to be looking for such a birth defect. Ben was ensuring he had a fetal surgeon on standby at all times, just in case. He was doing everything he could to make sure they were prepared. He was fighting for this child.

Rey would fight for her as well. She dried her tears on her napkin. “I’ve decided on a name.”

“Oh! Do tell, I promise not to tell Ben if you haven’t told him,” Leia leaned in and whispered.

Rey was grateful the woman had jumped on the change of subject. “Cassiopeia. Cass, or Cassie for short.”

“Another constellation, I see,” Leia teased.

"Ben always called me his Sun, I just kept the theme. Armie thought it was cute how I named Leo and Luna after the stars they were born under and the moon. I think he'd want his daughter included in that."

"Don't think either I or my brother missed how you named them both with names starting with L either,” Leia nudged her.

“You caught that? Not even Ben’s mentioned it,” Rey gasped, flushing red.

“That boy,” she shook her head and sighed, “he’s oblivious as all heck. Don’t know where he gets that from.”

Rey hummed, “I have a few ideas.”

The two mothers shared a long laugh. Still wrapped around each other, and drawing comfort and giving strength to the other. “I love you, dear.”

“I love you too, mom.”

"Still, you're allowed to be petty. I have a thick skin, and lord knows Han's done and said much worse. We fought like cats and dogs, still do," Leia smirked and pulled away to stare at her face.

Rey flushed under the attention. She looked down to her baby bump and ran a hand over it. “Just promise next time, you’ll be taking Ben by the ear.”

“If my idiot son knows what’s good for him, there won’t be a next time. I’ll take that giant over my damn knee. In public too!” the gruff voice of Han called out from the kitchen.

Before Rey could retort, Leia was already standing up and storming into the kitchen. “Out! I thought I sent you two to the garage!”

“Oi! I was just grabbing some more iced tea!” Rey heard a few thumps, “Woman, would you put the oven mitt down? I’m going, Jesus! Love you, Radar!”

Rey felt the smile curl onto her lips at Han’s nickname. It was hard seeing them again after learning she was pregnant. After the rather impressive screaming match in Ben’s kitchen, where she basically screamed her accusations, they all sat down to talk. They were adults, and screaming about what happened wasn’t good for any of them. The relationship was strained, but they had all agreed to try and move past this. After Ben made sure both his parents apologized, and his father made him get on his knees in front of them.

She had called her therapist and told her about everything. Her therapist congratulated her on taking the steps towards forgiveness, but wanted Rey to try to forgive herself. The blame she placed on herself for Luna's death was the worst of her old wounds. Ben's harsh words, his families abandonment, Phasma's misguided attempts to protect Ben and their company, all of it paled in comparison to the knowledge that she had the bad genes, and had passed them onto Luna.

She would never have known, her own mother’s history was a total unknown. Her father’s one night stand with a woman in London, who died a few months after her birth, hadn’t exactly given her father a medical history. She had begun living with him and never thought much about her birth mother, and neither had he. When he died when she was twelve her mother rarely came to her thoughts.

She knew all that, but still, she could not fully get past the guilt that ate at her.

She would fight for her daughter, for Cass. Luna’s sacrifice would not be in vain. She needed support, and while she still had her friends, she needed family. Han and Leia were willing to offer her all the support she needed. She would not throw them aside for some previous hurt.

Rey was taking her life back.

 

* * *

 

Rey laid in the bed and glared up at her husband, who was busy fussing over a box of baby clothes his mother had sent them home with. Christmas was two days away, and Ben was still being impossible. She had had enough.

“Ben, just stop! We need to talk!” Rey growled, throwing a pillow at him.

The pillow hit him square in the face. He gripped the fluffy weapon and lowered it from his face, revealing his jaw hanging open. “Rey! Don’t strain yourself! The books say that-”

“I don’t give a flying flip what the damned books say! Sit down and talk with me, or I’m getting out of this bed and going over to your parents,” she warned.

The speed with which Ben dropped onto the other side of the bed had Rey biting the inside of her cheek. His ears were bright red, and he looked properly apologetic. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Rey kept her face stern. “You need to stop fussing over every little thing, Ben. You’re driving me up the wall. Just stop, I’m fine, Cassie’s fine. We’re not going to break because I want to sort through the boxes of things your parents sent us home with.”

Ben opened his mouth, but she hardened her gaze and he wisely closed his trap. “Good. Now, you’re going to stop being overbearing, and we’ll get on just great.”

Ben nodded his head rapidly.

Rey raised her brow, “well?”

“Yes, Rey. I understand. I won’t be an overbearing asshole.”

“I never said you were being an asshole,” Rey pointed out. “Just an overbearing annoyance.”

Ben nodded again, still remaining quiet. Rey threw her hands up and groaned. “You know, part of talking means you need to speak too.”

“I just, I don’t want to upset you,” Ben whispered.

“Well, if this is going to work, we _need_ to talk Ben,” she crossed her arms over her chest and leveled him with a determined stare.

Ben swallowed audibly. “I agree, I just...” he looked away, staring out the window of her bedroom. “Where do we start? How do we start?”

Rey pondered this, casting her gaze over her room. The earthy tones of dark forest greens and soft browns of her bed set a small comfort. The warm tone of her room was better than the stark and bare tones of his office, or the sinful dark colors of crimson and black of his bedroom.

“At the beginning?” Rey shrugged. “How did you wind up believing Bazine’s bullshit?”

Ben continued to stare out the window, and Rey was ready to reach over to him to force him to look her in the eyes when he finally turned. His eyes were haunted, his lips scowling.

“She knew about how worried I was that we were growing apart, and our lack of intimacy. She made it seem like you might be cheating, and she had come across information that lead her to believe it might be true. I was scared it was true, and the way she acted only fed into my fears.”

“Then you pussyfooted around the subject, and took my words and assumed what I was saying fit with what you were picturing in your mind," Rey surmised.

Ben gave her a single nod of his head. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. She told me,” he gave a bitter laugh, “she told me any woman who was lucky enough to have me would never betray me if I wasn’t satisfied just as I was walking out the door.”

Rey closed her eyes, “Oh, Ben.” She knew how that one line would have fucked with his perceptions.

"It made sense to me because I could never believe you wanted _me,_ Ben Solo, noted fuck up, and otherwise socially awkward mess. Then when we talked, it only compounded on my fears, and I just wanted to run from the truth I thought was staring me in the face. That the woman I loved with everything inside me realized _I_ was nothing compared to her, to _you._ ”

"Then came the drinking?" Rey asked, her voice soft and tender. She feared pushing Ben too hard on this, because he had always believed the worst in himself. Giving into anger would not help either of them.

“No,” Ben stared into her eyes, his own shining with tears. “Then came waiting for you to show up to tell me how I failed. The nights where I would stare at the phone, trying to work up the courage to call you to find out just how I had fucked up. I just… I couldn’t,” he whispered, hanging his head.

“I was going to call you to chew you out, but Phasma had come to berate me about what I had done to you. She never mentioned cheating, either.”

“I didn’t tell her, or anyone until later - only that you, you left me. That you thought I was no longer good enough,” he admitted quietly.

Rey scoffed. “I remember that night very differently then, because you threw _me_ out, Benjamin.”

“I know!” he groaned. “I was hurt, and confused, and completely lost. It wasn’t until after Phasma met me later and told me we had all been wrong about you, that I...”

“You started drinking because you thought that confirmed everything that horrible woman told you?” Rey uncrossed her arms and fiddled with the edge of the forest green silk sheet.

“Yes,” Ben breathed, shrinking further into himself.

“I figured the lot of you were a bunch of misogynistic backward lunatics after that run in with Phasma. I was done with you all. It was only after trying to apply for jobs after graduating that I had even found out. I found out I had been blacklisted, and that finally made me upset. I had thought I dodged a bullet after the relationship ended.”

Ben cast a look over her, and the pained expression in his eyes made her heart clench. “You know I want you to pursue your dreams, Rey. I only ever wanted you happy,” he admitted, hands fisting the brown down filled comforter.

“I know that now, at least,” Rey conceded.

“And you know it wasn’t Phasma! Bazine did that, hacked her company email. We spent weeks resetting all the company communications and ramping up security,” Ben rushed, a part of him wanting to defend his co-worker.

“I know, and she was well within her rights to block me from the company. After what happened with us I had no desire to work for you or your family anyhow,” Rey frowned.

Ben’s jaw twitched, and she watched him work through his thoughts, “We would have been lucky to have you, though. R&D would have adored you.”

“Are you trying to backhandedly offer me a job, Ben?” Rey raised a brow, humor lacing her tone.

“No! No...” he ran a hand through his hair, his chest heaving, “un-unless you want one...”

“I’ll pass, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ben shifted.

Rey watched his knee bounce and bit her lip. “This is so awkward...”

“God yes,” he agreed. “But we need to do this,” he bit out, even if he sounded like he wanted to run from the room and never speak of this again.

“So how did you and Bazine-”

"A drunken haze of loneliness and self-loathing. I was just...I was so lost without you, Rey. I pushed everyone away, but she wouldn't stop. She was the only one that stuck around. Eventually..." he swallowed heavily, not looking away from her, shame written across his furrowed brow.

“Eventually I just stopped pushing her away. She had what she wanted, and I just didn’t care. After I heard from Hux you had a child, it didn’t even cross my mind that Leo could be mine. It was pretty easy for her to worm her way in from there. I just wanted a distraction from the pain and the rage. Bazine was easy, facing my failures wasn’t.”

“It’s pretty fucked up that you slept with her. Then when we met by chance...”

"I," Ben bit his lip. "I heard from Hux that he had seen you in town. Had seen you with Dameron and his boyfriend. He commented that the little boy looked a bit like Dameron. Messy, curly black hair - and a part of me wished he were mine. Thinking he wasn't at the time, it killed me. I was starting to pull away from Bazine then, and she told me you were now pulling tricks on the street."

Rey’s eyes narrowed, and her lips thinned into a firm line. “That lying bitch!” she hissed.

Ben held up his hand. “I know, but to hear you threw away your future, became that...” he shuddered. “It only fueled my rage and guilt. I had ruined you, whatever I had done had broken you, and I blamed myself. Except that hurt too much, so I went with rage - it was easier, and Bazine fed into that like it was her damn pet.”

Rey shook her head. "So then we met, and you..." her words trailed off. She needed to know why he had been so harsh with her. She had her suspicions, especially now, but she needed to hear it from him.

“I saw you, and it was just too much. I froze up, and it hurt,” the tears Ben had been holding back began to spill down his cheeks. “You were so fucking beautiful. Then you bumped into me, and I wanted to get on my knees and beg for you to forgive me.”

“But instead you called me a slut,” Rey pointed out.

“I was...I was so wrong for that, but I was so angry I was seeing red at the thought of another man's hands on you. That – that someone else was making you smile like that," Ben's knuckles were white, and Rey felt the comforter slide a few inches down as he bunched the fabric tighter.

Rey could tell how hard this was for him, if she was not seeing him shake, she would have felt it. The whole bed was shifting from his restlessness – his repressed rage. She wanted to soothe him, but they needed to get through this talk first. They both needed this years ago – it was better late than never, she supposed.

"Then when you slapped me, I just lost it. For just a second I gave in, and I was horrified. But it was over, any chance I had to win you back, to crawl out of the hell I threw myself into was gone. So I acted like a monster - because in that moment I was one," Ben finished, then hung his head.

“Ben-”

“You have no idea how terrible I felt. Bazine and I fought that night. I _hated_ myself more than I ever had before. I considered ending it all right there that night..." his words were heavy with admission, and so fragile that Rey feared her gasp of shock would break him.

He was so raw, so vulnerable in that moment. There was still more that needed to be said, but Ben needed _something_ – she just knew it. She ripped off the covers and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders as she felt hot tears trail down her cheeks. She felt his own tears wetting her hair as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her.

He choked out a sob, and his whole body shook. He rocked back and forth with her wrapped in his trembling embrace. He whispered her name over and over, a mournful, pained plea.

They sat there together, letting the pain wash over them and finally letting it out into the open. It hurt, but when Rey’s tears began to slow, she felt lighter than she had in years. “I’m glad you’re still here, Ben.”

His only response was to grip her tighter, bury his nose deeper into her hair and to sob, her name a prayer spoken brokenly from his lips against her forehead with the occasional soft press of lips interspaced between his sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Rey.”

“I know, Ben,” she knew the words he wanted – needed – to hear, but she was not quite ready to give them to him yet. There was one last issue they needed to sort out before she could offer him his salvation. “At the diner-”

“I was so scared when you wouldn’t talk to me. I was being selfish, and all I wanted was a chance. If we could have just talked - I thought maybe we could work everything out. But I’m glad you left...it...it was what we both needed,” Ben’s voice trembled. “You needed time to heal, and I needed to sort out my shit.”

"And you're sure you're okay with Armie and me?"

“If it wasn’t me, I was glad you found happiness with him. I knew he would take care of you. I’m not thrilled, but I understand,” Ben pulled back enough to stare into her eyes. “It would have killed me to let you go, but if he were still around and he was who you wanted, I would have stepped aside.”

Rey saw the truth of his words in his expressive chocolate eyes. She reached up and carded her fingers through his hair. “I believe you,” she whispered.

“I hate that he’s gone,” Ben admitted, bitterness filling his words.

“I do too,” Rey agreed, “we have to keep going, for him.”

“Yeah, and you know I’ll be here for you and Cass as well,” Ben’s gaze flickered lower. Her own gaze flew to his trembling lips.

“Thank you, Ben.”

“I’d do anything for you, Rey,” he swore.

“And with all that’s happened, you aren’t kidding,” Rey tested the waters with a bit of humor.

Ben flashed her a self-deprecating grin. "Well, I guess I won't be trying to break your heart anymore. So, how about I'll do anything you want, then."

Rey shook her head. “I seem to remember you denied me something I wanted a few months ago.”

Ben flushed a bright red. “I- but that, I mean...I didn’t want to take advantage!”

“You have no idea how much that means to me, either,” Rey whispered.

The humor left Ben’s eyes, a seriousness taking hold of him once more. “That you’re here, in my arms, means _everything_ to me, Rey.”

The words were heavy in her head. She opened her mouth, and the words tumbled out into a heap. “I forgive you, Ben. For everything.”

“Rey-”

She pressed her finger to his lips, watching the awe and wonder shine through his beautifully expressive eyes. “Just promise me, next time something comes up, you talk to me first. If we can’t communicate, this will never work. And it _needs_ to work, for Leo and Cass as much as it does for us.”

Ben nodded, and when she drew her fingers away she felt him press a soft kiss to their tips. “I promise.”

She surged forward and pressed her lips to his, sealing their vow. “Stay with me tonight?” she asked.

“Always,” he swore.

 

* * *

 

Christmas morning found Rey sitting in the spacious living room, staring up at the tree clearly decorated by the design influence of her four-year-old. She was lounging across the leather sofa while Leo kept an eye on her.

“You have to be careful, Mama. My baby sister is still sleeping,” he ordered with an air of arrogance he had adopted from his father.

Rey gave her son a dutiful nod and beamed at his adorable stern face. “Of course, anything else Doctor Leo?”

“You have to eat all the veggies! Daddy and I made omelets,” he uncrossed his arms, showing off the red nosed Reindeer on his red sweater. He pointed a finger towards her face. “If you don’t eat it all, you don’t get presents.”

Her son had seemed to take Ben's easing off of hounding Rey as a sign the four-year-old had to step up. Now her son urged her to be sitting at all times and rushed around trying to make her comfortable. Rey could not help but find his over-protectiveness rather adorable. While Ben had annoyed her, she had secretly adored his antics. Leo was just too cute to chastise for his behavior.

“Yes, Doctor Leo.”

"Leo," Ben cautioned from the open entrance, standing under the red and green garland hung above his head. His hair brushed along the glittering plastic and a few hairs were swept up into disarray. "Be nice to your mother, it's Christmas."

“But, Cassie-”

“Is just fine. Are we all eating out here?” he held two plates in his hands.

Leo nodded eagerly. “Yup, can we put on Rudolf on the big TV while we eat? Please!”

Her son had begun emulating his father more and more every day. He rarely fumbled his words – unless he was trying to get away with something by being cute – and was speaking more in general. "I think we can make an exception since it's Christmas," Rey agreed, smiling up at Ben.

"Yeah, Daddy! And Mama can stay comfy on the couch. Do you need a blankie, Mama?"

Rey waved her hand. “Oh no, the fire is warm enough.”

Ben walked around the couch and handed them both their plates. Leo carefully climbed onto the couch while Ben searched through Amazon to find their movie. After starting the film he walked over to them and knelt down, placing a kiss on his son’s cheek.

“You make sure she eats every bite,” Ben’s face was drawn into mock seriousness.

“He won’t have too. This is delicious, Ben,” Rey praised around a mouthful.

Ben tsked, leaned forward and placed a kiss to her temple. "Don't speak with your mouth full, Sunshine. Otherwise, I'm going to fill those pretty lips with something _else,_ ” he promised, dragging his lips over the shell of her ear.

Rey tried to hide the shiver his words evoked from her son. "Mama, you _sure_ you don’t need a blankie?”

“Yes,” she squeaked. Rey cleared her throat and tried again. “Yes sweetie, Daddy’s food is just so good.”

Leo bounced in his seat, humming happily over a bite. Rey noticed Ben had already cut up all of Leo's omelet and her heart sang. It was just a small, innocuous action, but it still meant the world to her. Ben adored his son, and he did everything he could for Leo. Not just the big things, but even the small, seemingly unimportant ones.

Rey bit the inside of her cheek lightly trying to tamp down the rush of hormones she felt. Her entire body was pleading for Ben's attention, but even a few days after their talk he had yet to take their relationship beyond stolen kisses and heavy make-out sessions after Leo was tucked into his bed for the night.

Rey felt torn between sexual frustration and adoration for his care towards her feelings. She sat eating the football-sized omelet and noted Ben had slathered hers in hot sauce - once again proving he listened to her cravings and anticipated her needs. Her insides throbbed. They would need to have another chat soon. Hopefully, that one would end with his lips on her heated skin.

Ben joined them a few minutes later, sitting on the floor between her legs. They ate and laughed, and enjoyed the Christmas movie together.

When it was time to open presents Leo completely forgot his ‘duty' to keep an eye on his mother. He was happily thanking his parents and Santa for all the new toys! Ben was filming it the whole time with his iPhone, a goofy, ear splitting grin permanently etched across his face.

Rey looked down to her own present, a small jewelry box that held no sparkling jewels, but instead a simple note.

_Tonight, my Sun._

Rey contained her sudden restlessness by gingerly lowering herself to the floor and gushing over Leo’s toys with him. She cast a quick glance to her husband and winked. When he shifted and nearly fell over, Rey pointed this out to Leo who joined her in teasing his father.

 

* * *

 

Christmas Dinner at Leia’s was filled with more laughter and teasing. Rey noted Ben was being a rather good sport about the whole thing. He was red in the face when his mother suggested that Leo stay the night with them. Han had shot both of them a knowing look and asked if Leo wanted to see his special project.

Leo had been all too eager to join Gampa Han in his garage after that. Luke grumbled about it being no place for a child, but his sister just glared him down until he shut his mouth. Leia had also insisted her brother stay over with Mara, she wanted to get to know her brother's girlfriend - which caused another round of red faces at the Organa-Solo dinner table.

Finally back home, alone, Rey felt restless. She had rushed to her bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom. She took her time cleaning, shaving, and otherwise preparing herself for whatever Ben had planned. He had sent her off with a smile and a feather-light kiss to her cheek.

A million scenarios raced through her head. All of them salacious, and each had her growing wetter, the steaming water of the shower aside.

She toweled herself dry and frowned at the mirror. She was seriously starting to show, and she felt self-conscious about the bump and added weight. So lost in her own dark thoughts was she, that she didn't hear Ben come in. She jumped when she felt an arm wrap around her, pulling her into his chest.

“You look beautiful, Rey. Stop that,” he tapped her furrowed brow.

“I feel fat,” Rey grumbled, not meeting his eyes in the mirror.

She felt him shift, lowering his lips to her bare shoulder. "Well, you look absolutely stunning. Soft skin glowing, smile as bright as the sun, and supple curves so enticing I just want to sink my teeth into them," he purred against her skin. "Not touching you is a war every day."

Rey shivered, tilting her head to give Ben more access. “Oh?”

"Oh, she says. Like it's so surprising," she felt him shift his legs, and the hard length of his cock pressed into the curve of her ass.

“Ben,” Rey moaned as he trailed open mouth kisses along her skin, his tongue darting out to lick the trailing water droplets from her skin.

“Can I take you to bed properly?” his lips traced the shell of her ear. His words were low, rumbling with need.

Rey’s knees began to quiver, her muscles straining to keep herself upright. “Maybe?” she whispered out in a rush.

"Little Minx. Come to bed so _Daddy_ can take care of you,” he growled, hands gripping her waist and pulling her harder against him.

That name. She had been calling him Daddy around Leo since they had first been introduced. He spoke that title with such sinful pride, Rey could feel her body respond with a gush of slick. If her quivering pussy was any indication, she liked the implication behind that word.

They had never really delved into anything terribly kinky before, but now, _now_ it sang to life within her. Like a door had been opened in her mind with just that one word, Rey _needed._

“ _Please, Daddy.”_ she whimpered, her knees finally giving out.

Ben was quick to wrap his arms around her and to bring her to his chest in a bridal carry. His eyes bore into her, smoldering, his jaw working feverishly, and his lips parted with his heaving breaths.

“Oh little one, I’m going to take _very_ good care of you,” he swore, his words edged with an animalistic need.

He carried her out of her bathroom, past her bed and down the hallway towards his own open door. She saw the soft orange glow from the dark hallway and her heart melted. He had set up his room with tea light candles, giving the normally dark room a soft, comforting feel.

“I love it,” she whispered.

Ben stared down at her with sin written all over her face. “Oh little one, I haven’t even begun to give you your gifts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)
> 
> Sorry this took so long. Been busy, had a bit of writers block and am working on a secret project.  
> Also, I have birthed ["Clownlo"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18539173). This crackfic I wrote edited, had beta'd and posted in seven hours yesterday.


	10. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Smuttening. A scare for Ben. He protec his family and he attac crazy bitches who fuck with said family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wonderful Beta has outdone herself yet again. [Heathyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works), I love you! <3
> 
> New Moodboard: Not chapter specific. I needed a new one for updating on Twitter....so I spent 3 hours making this. It was a process.

 

* * *

  

Rey splayed out on the bed, chestnut hair haloing her head against the black satin sheets of his bed, had his cock straining against his pants. He ripped his shirt off in a rush and tossed it to the side. His chest heaved, staring at his sun’s flushed face, lips parted, eyes hooded with the soft glow of the candlelight dancing along her tanned skin.

He groaned as he knelt before her. Taking her ankle in his hand, his lips trailed a burning path along her heated skin. She tasted even better than he remembered. Filled with the taste – the scent – of her, he groaned as he placed a kiss to her quivering thigh.

He tilted his head, eyes drinking in the sight of her drenched cunt. He dragged his fingers across her thighs and pulled them farther apart while he settled himself between them. He flicked his gaze to her own, watching her breasts heave with each sharp inhale. A quiet gasp echoed around the room as his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips.

"I'm going to make you sing for me, Little One," he swore, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Rey bit her own and whimpered, her whole body trembling. “I’ve been dreaming of this for _years._ Let’s see if I remember how to make you dance for me,” he teased.

He groaned loudly against her sweet cunt when the taste of her exploded on his tongue. Her hands gripped his hair, urging him deeper. He licked a long, slow strip along her slit, gathering her taste and savoring it like a fine wine. That single taste was all it took to shatter his control. He had planned to take his time, to be so gentle with her.

To hell with his plans. He was going to worship at the altar of his sun goddess. A dark, possessive part of him demanded that he prove to her no one, not even Hux, could have ever replaced him. He dove into his task with abandon.

The wet, squelching sound of his eager tongue mixed beautifully with Rey’s wanton moans. He sucked on her clit, bringing his thick fingers to tease the entrance of her soaked pussy. He pushed in as far as his nail, then pulled back out. He kept this up for some time, enjoying his wife’s pouting frown.

“Ben!” Rey hissed around a moan.

“Hmmm?” he questioned, never letting up the pulsing suction he had over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Don’t tease,” she whimpered.

_As you wish, my Sun._ He thrust his finger deeper inside her and lightly bit on her clit.

He watched as she arched her back, shouting his name. Pleased at the response, he added a second finger and moaned when she started thrusting her hips onto his hand. His fingers curled – searching - as he circled her clit with his tongue.

“Oh god!” she cried.

_Found it,_ he smirked, and he attacked the spongy skin relentlessly. He looked up to her face, her eyes closed - mouth open and gasping in air, her head shaking back and forth. He could feel the clenching of her pussy gain strength, and knew she was growing close.

“Look at me, Rey,” he ordered. “Look at Daddy while he makes you cum on his fingers.”

He watched as her hazel orbs flew open, just as she gushed and clamped down on his fingers. Her jaw hung open in a silent scream. He kept his eyes locked onto her beautiful face as he licked the taste of her from her pretty and swollen pussy lips. He slowly eased his fingers out of her, sucking her essence off his middle finger.

Her pupils were still wide with desire and she shivered. A smirk tugged at the side of his lips at the sight. Ben crawled up Rey's trembling body and offered his other finger. "You want to taste how delicious you are, my sweet little one?"

His cock ached at her cute nod, then his entire body _burned_ when she took the finger between her petal pink lips. Wrapping her lips around it, dragging the digit into her hot, wet mouth. Her tongue danced along his finger, and he had to grind his hips into her thigh to relieve some of the building pressure.

“G-good girl,” he hissed as he dragged his finger from her lips, tracing it along her jaw. “I think you deserve a reward.”

“Ben-”

He cut her off with a look. Every _single_ time Rey had called him ‘daddy’ over the last three months had made his cock twitch. “Little One,” he cautioned.

He watched her swallow, and whimper out, “Daddy, kiss me?”

“Oh, baby girl, I’m going to make love to that cute little mouth of yours. Is that all you want?” his hand tightened its hold on her hip.

“I want you to fuck me, Daddy," Rey demanded, eyes half-lidded and lip caught between her teeth.

“I’m going to make a mess of you, little one,” he purred, fingers trembling as he undid his belt. He pushed his pants and boxers down, too eager to bother kicking them off.

Cock in hand, he rubbed along her dripping cunt. “Have you been thinking about this?”

Rey flushed, turning her head away. He clicked his tongue and ground his cock harder into her. “Answer me, Sunshine.”

Rey hissed out a ‘yes’, and that was all he needed. “Good girl,” he praised, and then he was home - _finally_ inside her velvet heat.

Ben wanted to ravage her, but he stared at the bulge of Rey’s stomach and held onto a thread of control. “Do you know how beautiful you are? Making another baby,” he trailed his fingers over her stomach.

Her cunt clung to his cock, desperate to pull him back in with each languid stroke. "God above, baby girl, you're taking my cock so well."

"Too slow, Daddy," Rey protested, arching her hips to meet him so he slid into her deeper.

His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. “Oh? You want more, baby girl?”

Rey nodded her head vigorously. He could never deny his Rey anything. Taking both her ankles into his hands, he placed them on his shoulders. “Hold on tight, baby.”

His thrusts became frenzied, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. There was nothing but his pregnant wife, and himself – nothing else existed in those moments – they were home.

“Rey,” he panted, “love you, baby.”

He noted Rey didn’t respond, and he could not fault her for it. He would wait as long as she needed to feel the same again. His brain shifted gears, knowing how often Rey could slip into her own mind. Dropping an L-bomb during sex was a surefire way to cause Rey to overthink things.

He knew just how to get her back on track. “Want you to come on my cock, baby girl. Can you do that? Can you come for _Daddy?”_

Rey keened as he angled her hips to hit that sweet spot. “Ben!”

Dropping the newly discovered Daddy kink, Ben relished the way his wife _sang_ his name. He had never heard the love of his life utter his name with such wanton need. “Rey, do it, let go,” he urged.

His balls began to tighten, her walls were quivering. “Please, Rey,” he panted, mouthing at her neck.

He felt her walls clamp down on his cock, heard his name ripped from her lips with a shout. Her own spilled from his lips as he released five years of pent up yearning inside her welcoming cunt.

Utterly spent, he twitched as he fell to her side, gathering Rey into his arms. Ben nuzzled her neck, placing soft kisses along her sweat-slick shoulder. They were both silent as they caught their breath.

Rey was the first one to speak. “That was...”

“Amazing!” Ben finished, still peppering her shoulder and neck with his kisses.

“So, you have a Daddy kink?” Rey pointed out, and he could hear the laughter she was trying to hold at bay.

"You're the mother of my children, of course I do. Then again, I might just have a Rey kink,” Ben grinned against the curve of her neck.

“Good to see this corny side of you hasn’t changed,” she chuckled.

Ben pulled Rey tighter against his chest, he didn’t mind the sweat or extra heat. Having her in his arms again was all he could have ever wanted. “It only comes out around you. You make me feel like an awkward teenager.”

“Is that a compliment?”

Ben shrugged, “Dunno. Maybe? I think so.”

"You don't sound too sure there, Mr. Solo," Rey teased, her thumb idly stroking his arm.

“Perhaps, Mrs. Solo, you just drive me crazy," his pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her neck. "In the best ways."

Rey hummed in response. “Maybe.”

 

* * *

 

Ben felt incredibly awkward watching Rose and Phasma squaring off against one another in his living room. After the tiny fireball had seen the giant Amazon walk in, Rose had grabbed the first weapon she could find – one of Leo’s toy lightsabers.

"You witch!" she hollered, and charged at the much taller woman. Phasma had managed to dodge and weave, and had gotten her hands on the other lightsaber.

Red and green sabers clashed, still turned on and making all the sound effects for their ‘battle’. No words were spoken, as the two women traded blows with toy laser swords.

“Is Auntie Rose a Jedi?” Leo asked, tugging on Poe’s pants.

“Yup, and Phasma’s a Sith Lord,” he smirked.

Leo frowned. "Nuh uh! Phasma always sneaks me candy when we visit Daddy's work. Sith don't give out candy!" he declared, with the intensity only a four-year-old could muster.

Finn shook his head. “That’s how they get you to go to the dark side. Candy.”

Leo gasped, his big hazel eyes staring up at his uncles with shock and horror written onto his face. Ben watched Leo run to him, he tried desperately to hide his smile in the face of his son’s adorable crisis.

“Is it true, Daddy? Candy is for the dark side?” Leo’s lip trembled, his eyes wet with tears.

His son was a weapon of mass cuteness. That had to be Rey’s genes. Ben snuck a glance towards said mother of cuteness - who was giggling at the whole exchange from the recliner. Rey’s hand rubbed her heavily pregnant belly, and his own twitched wanting to feel baby Cassie again.

He knelt down and smirked at his son. “Yup, candy is only for the dark side.”

Leo shook his head, unable to believe such a thing. After about five seconds it seemed his son had come to a decision. He stomped his foot crossed his arms and then declared, “Jedi are stupid. If Jedi can’t have candy, I’ll be a Sith!”

_That’s all me,_ Ben thought with pride swelling in his chest.

“That’s my boy,” Ben cheered, holding his hand up for a high five. “The dark side’s way better.”

Rey began to chortle, and Finn and Poe looked utterly betrayed. After sitting together to watch the Star Wars movie with Leo he had become obsessed with the series. Rey had taken no side in the argument. Rose had declared the Force was for babies - bounty hunters were the best. Ben wisely kept his mouth shut about his own views on the Sith. At least until bedtime, where he told his son all about Darth Revan and his Jedi love Bastila Shan.

Leo had been enthralled by the story.

The group’s reunion had been an awkward one - with thinly veiled threats and sugar sweet barbs thrown his way. Ben remained passive, and allowed Rey's friends their taunts. Eventually, Leo had told them all to play nicely together, scolding the adults. A sort of truce emerged.

Now the threesome – in all ways possible Ben had learned – visited their home at least once a week. Which lead to the epic lightsaber battle going on in his living room.

“How could you choose the dark-side, Leo? You were the chosen one!” Poe cried, holding his hand to his heart.

Leo giggled. “Daddy’s way cooler than the stuffy Jedi - and no candy!”

“What about your mom? She’s a Jedi for sure,” Finn pressed, leaning down to whisper in Leo’s ear.

Ben watched his son twist his face in concentration. He then turned towards Rey, sporting a quivering lip and wet eyes - crocodile tears this time - a classic young Solo move against their mothers. “Mama, do you still love me, even if I’m a Sith like Daddy?”

_Oh, you’re a Sith Lord for sure, Leo,_ he thought to himself.

Rey reached her hand out towards Leo, who toddled over to her as fast as his little legs could carry him. “Of course, sweetie. Besides, Darth Revan turned out to be a good man even if he was a Sith, right?”

Leo beamed, crawling into his mother’s lap. Poe slapped his hand to his forehead and fell over. “Traitor! You’ve given yourself over to the dark side for a pair of pretty eyes.”

Ben flushed with the idea that Rey had been swayed in any way because of himself. A laugh fell from her lips, “if my choices were that, or a war that would rip my family apart, well...” Rey trailed off, meeting his gaze. Her lips quirked up into a soft smile, “There really is no other choice, is there?”

Ben watched as Poe slumped further into the couch. This was something he had missed about Rey, how she managed to bring people together. Ben was not a social creature by nature, but these moments almost made him wish he was.

“So, are you two just going to keep holding that pose until we notice you?” Finn called over to Rose and Phasma.

Both women stood with lightsabers both held against the other's neck. Rose and Phasma were deadlocked staring at one another. Neither seemed to acknowledge Finn's words. Both appeared unwilling to give up the battle of wills between them.

“It’s a draw!” Leo declared from his seat on Rey’s lap, clapping his hands. “We can play legos now.”

Ben watched the two slowly pull back, still eyeing each other, ready for an attack. Phasma's normally pressed and proper appearance was rumpled. Rose's cheeks were flushed red with anger. He watched the silent battle of will play out between them. Both women nodded, and civil smiles were exchanged. Ben breathed a sigh of relief. At least the feud had come to a temporary cease-fire.

“A draw,” Phasma offered her hand.

“For now,” Rose agreed giving Phasma what appeared to be a rather aggressive shake.

“Ben, I need to talk to you,” Phasma turned to him, her voice light, but her eyes hard.

He nodded. “Of course,” he would bet everything this had something to do with either Bazine or Snoke. Both had been ongoing pains in his ass as far as his business was concerned. He just wanted this whole mess to be over so he could focus fully on Rey, Leo, and Cassie.

 

* * *

 

Valentine's Day was fast approaching. Ben had two days left until the holiday of lovers. He was more than prepared, he had everything planned to a ‘T’. He attempted to brush the nervous bubble of energy rising up within him off as indigestion. Rey still had yet to utter those three little words. He desperately tried to not let this knowledge hurt him.

_Tried_ being the operative word.

She would say them when she meant them. At least he hoped so. His mother was rubbing off on him again. Hope was either going to save him, or cast him into the fires of despair.

_Bzzt._

Ben pulled out his phone, frowning in confusion as Rey’s face stared back at him from the small screen. Answering the call, Ben spun in his chair to stare out at the city.

“Rey? To what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice?”

“Daddy?”

Ben froze and turned to stare at his phone in confusion. "Hey little man, did you take Mama's phone?"

“Yeah. Can you come home?” his son asked, there was a slight warble to his tone that set Ben on edge.

“What’s going on? Can I talk to your mother?” Ben rushed, his knee bouncing.

Ben heard Kylo growling in the background, and his previous high alert went to Defcon Two. Kylo was not a growler, he was loud and would bark if he even thought he saw movement outside. Hearing that low rumble had Ben holding in his own growl.

“She’s being yelled at by the mean lady,” Leo explained.

Ben’s heart dropped. There was no way – how could she have even found them? He made sure none of his information was on social media. After he spent months getting blasted on Twitter once the episode of the Dameron Show aired - he decided to delete his profile and washed his hands of it. Though he had made a new Facebook so his mother could check up on him. He had three friends. It was mostly filled with pictures of Kylo, and now more recently Leo and Rey.

But somehow, someone – please God don’t let it be Bazine – was yelling at his wife. “What does the mean lady look like?”

“She looks like the Evil Queen Dragon Lady, who tried to hurt the princess,” Leo explained.

Ben was drawing a blank. _Evil queen? Dragon Lady? Princess?_ His mind raced, trying to connect the words to something Leo would know.

“What?”

“From the movie with Pip, Daddy,” Leo explained with a heavy sigh.

Suddenly it all clicked. _Enchanted,_ Leo’s new favorite movie. It _was_ Bazine then. _Fuck! “_ Where’s Uncle Luke?” Ben whispered.

“With Mara,” Leo gave his simple answer.

“Are they home?” Ben was shutting down his computer, head tilted with his phone resting against his shoulder.

“Nope, they went to have adult time. Mama was watching me play in the snow. I was building Olaf.”

Ben shrugged on his jacket and slung his scarf around his neck. "Listen, buddy. I need you to go hide with Kylo."

“Hide and seek?”

"Yup, Daddy's coming home to play with you. So go hide yourself real good, but stay inside. Keep Mama's phone on you."

“That’s cheating!”

Ben threw open his door, muted his phone, and leveled his secretary with a look. “I’m leaving for the day. Call the cops and let them know that Bazine Netal is at my home screaming at my wife and scaring my child.”

Ben watched the horror cross her face- stuttering out a hasty, “Of course, Sir,” as she picked up the phone.

Ben unmuted his phone and barreled towards the elevator. "Okay, I promise I'll only call if I give up. If I call Mama's phone, you win."

“Okay. Bye Daddy.”

Ben heard what sounded like a door slamming and Rey’s raised voice. “Leo, wait!”

When silence crackled across the speaker, fears spiraled down his spine and curled into his gut. He jammed the elevator button repeatedly. With no response, he spun and raced for the stairs. Shoulder checking the door, Ben winced at the loud bang the metal made as it crashed into the concrete wall.

He tore down the twenty-five flights of stairs, his vision hyper-focused on each step. Once he reached the parking garage he swiped his ID over the card reader and bashed into the door, missing the push bar.

“Fuck!”

Disoriented for a moment, Ben shook his head, took a single breath, then continued to his car.

He threw himself into the driver's seat, tossing his briefcase onto the backseat. He peeled out of the garage - while finagling with the seatbelt - a litany of curses pouring out of his mouth.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck! Shit! God damn fucking bitch! Please be safe. Please, _fuck,_ be safe, Rey, Leo. Daddy’s coming!”

This was his chant while he sped down the highway. Lo unto the cop that dared pull him over right now - his wife, son, and unborn child were in fucking danger.

“Why!” He screamed, pounding his fist into the dash, barely missing punching his car’s touch screen.

Rey was alone and heavily pregnant. Why in the ever loving fuck did he leave her alone? He should have just worked from home. Hell, he should just retire. He had more than enough fucking money.

"God damn it! Get the fuck out of the passing lane if you're not going to go over 75 you fuck nugget!" he screamed, feeling the leather crack under his white-knuckled grip.

If anything happened – no, nothing would happen. Rey, Leo, and Cassie would be just fine.

Rey. His sweet, perfect Rey. She could take care of herself – Ben reminded himself. She was strong, reliable, and she was a _survivor_. She was also willing to do what needed to be done to protect what was hers.

His perfect little scavenger was fiercely protective and territorial. If she even thought he was stealing too much of the sheets she'd kick him in the shin – while unconscious – _hard_.

Rey knew how to take care of herself.

Bazine – she was the wild card. You can’t predict crazy.

Guards. Rey and Leo needed armed security. He needed to start looking once he got home… “If this asshole would just get the fuck over!”

His heart beat in a frantic rhythm, his whole body trembled, and his hands had a death grip on the steering wheel. “Just hold on, Rey. Please Sunshine, just hold on. I’ll be there soon.”

 

* * *

 

Ben could hear the shouting as soon as he opened his door. He stared at the open garage door and sprinted through, not even bothering to make sure the door shut behind him. His head swiveled, eyes seeking Rey. He found her backed into the living room, with Bazine pointing her finger in her face.

“You stupid bitch! You stole him from me!”

Ben held off on his relief, but at least Rey appeared to be alright. He brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. The ear piercing sound startled Bazine and Rey both. As they turned to face him, Ben’s heart skipped a beat seeing the look of adoration melt away Rey’s fear.

“What the heck is going on?” Ben tried to keep his voice level as he approached the two surprised women. He just needed to get in front of Rey, then he could unleash hell on the banshee invader.

“Benny! You’re home early,” Bazine cried out, her face shifting into a wide smile.

"My son called me to let me know some witch was terrorizing my wife. Of course, I came home to see what had him so worked up," he barely contained the growl that was threatening to rip itself from his throat.

“Speaking of, where did your adorable son run off to?” Bazine continued to smile at him - which only served to further unnerve Ben.

“He’s probably gone to avoid the yelling. Our son isn’t a fan,” Rey added, taking a cautious step towards him.

Ben surged forward, seeing the hateful glare flash across Bazine’s face. He wrapped Rey into his arms, tucking her safely next to him. “Everything alright with you and the baby?”

He felt Rey sink into his side, nuzzling her face into his chest. “As well as can be expected,” Rey murmured. He could feel the tremors wracking her body.

The growl came from him unbidden, the words did not. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from my family, Miss Netal?” Instead of shouting at her, he settled for that deadly calm tone his mother used on Han when he was in the deepest of shit.

He watched Bazine take a step back, and could have purred as the fear broke through her botox for a few precious seconds. “B-benny? I thought I should apologize to Rey. Smooth things over for you.”

“Clearly we’re doing just fine,” Ben sneered. “If you’ve apologized, then you can go.”

“B-but-”

“Piss off, you mental bitch!” Rey snarled. “If I weren’t thirty-two weeks pregnant, I’d have already drug your ass to the door by your cheap wig.”

Ben felt pride flood his system. He turned to smile down at his little warrior wife. "Thank you for waiting until I came." Ben dropped his voice an octave and whispered, "I'd hate to have to punish you for putting yourself in more danger, Little One.”

He felt, more than heard, the whimper Rey released into his chest. “Yes, Daddy.”

“What danger?” Bazine screeched.

“Oh fuck off, Netal. Take your bat shit crazy ass out of my house before the cops show up.”

“Cops?” Bazine choked out, hand coming to her lips.

“Yup,” Ben made sure the ‘p’ popped, echoing around the room.

Bazine recoiled as if struck. “I, uh,” she pulled out her phone and stared at it for a moment, then shoved it back into her purse. “I have to go. Sorry again, Rey.”

“It’s Mrs. Solo,” both he and Rey reminded her.

“R-right,” Bazine sneered, walking back towards the garage door.

Ben kept a tight hold on Rey, trailing Bazine’s movement. He used himself as a human shield between the banshee and his wife. When she was through the door he called out after her.

“If you bother or threaten my family again,” his voice dropped low, and he could almost taste the fear in the air as he watched her back freeze, "there is nowhere on this earth you can hide where I won't find you."

The door closed behind her, and Ben immediately turned his full attention to his wife. Now that the threat had been handled, he needed to assure himself his wife was actually alright. Running on instinct to get the psycho out of his house, he hadn’t stopped to inspect her.

Now Ben took in every single detail – her watery eyes, trembling hands clenching the fabric of his suit, the disheveled mess of her hair. He noticed one of her cheeks was a brighter shade of red than the other. His entire body locked into place.

“Rey,” he fought the anger still roiling under his skin, “Little One, did she hurt you?”

Rey shook her head. “She slapped me, but I saw it coming and was able to brace myself.”

Ben stopped hearing properly after the word slapped. Everything else was a buzz as red took over his vision. He made his way to the door, barely registering Rey tugging on his arm. He yanked the door open and watched Bazine pulling out of the driveway.

He was yanking open his car door when Rey’s broken sob startled him. He blinked the haze out of his eyes and his face crumpled into worry. “Sunshine? What are...oh god. I’m sorry.”

Ben knelt down and wrapped his arms around Rey as she trembled.

“Just let her go. I’m fine, the baby is fine, Leo is – Leo!”

Ben watched Rey go from soothing wife to panicked mother in a matter of milliseconds. He was quick to pull her into the house. “He’s safe. He called me from your phone. I told him to hide.”

“He’s probably terrified,” Rey shuddered. “We have to find him.”

"We will - just breathe. He thinks we're playing Hide and Seek right now," Ben soothed, rubbing his hands along Rey's arms. "Look at me, Rey. We're all fine, let's-"

The flashing red and blue lights startled Ben out of his train of thoughts. He glared out the window. “I beat them here by at least five fucking minutes,” he swore.

“You called the cops?”

"My secretary did. I wanted to try and stay on the phone with Leo. But apparently, that was ‘cheating'."

Rey shook her head, a hysterical laugh bubbling to the surface. His still thundering protective instincts demanded he soothe her, but once again Rey - and everyone around him lately - seemed two steps ahead of him.

"He is your son, after all."

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ben narrowed his eyes, a small smile creeping across his face.

“You always were a stickler about everyone else following the rules,” Rey pointed out through her laughter.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he whispered, wrapping her into his arms. He stood there breathing her in. “I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you, Rey. I-”

He felt her fingers press into his lips. He kept his mouth closed and watched the warmth seep into her frazzled expression – slowly the fear and hysteria ebbed away. “I know.”

_I love you, with all that I am._ _Please don’t ever leave me again,_ he pressed his lips to her fingers in a kiss, willing the words to sink into her very soul.

“You go find our son, Big guy. I’ll talk to the cops until then.”

“Okay Rey, just shout if you need anything, I’ll come running,” he pressed a kiss to her head. “Oh where oh where could the master ninja Leo be hiding?” he bellowed, beginning his search for Leo.

Safe. His family was safe. He’d have to ask about how Rey felt about having a security detail later tonight. Though he suspected his independent survivor would not be keen on the idea. Rey was going to chew him out for even asking, but a man could hope. His wife was a damn trouble magnet. He just wanted to live his life happily with his family. Was that too much to ask?

Hopefully once Cassie came things would settle down. He’d be revisiting that whole retiring idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt
> 
> Chapter Eleven is going to be short and out pretty soon. I'll be sending it to my Beta tonight. We're getting close to the climax folks! <3


	11. Something To Talk About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people decide to have conversations about love and relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Heathyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) my Secret Keeper. One last chapter before they all revolt and come for my hide. XD

 

* * *

 

“So, she actually showed up at the house?” Rose growled, swinging the toy lightsaber into her hand.

Rey groaned, “yes, I was so surprised. Ben told me he never let her even know he had bought our house. He ran her off.”

“This bitch, she better not come around again!” Rose snarled, “I’m not afraid to fight with crazy.”

Rey waved her hand. “I doubt she’ll be stupid enough to try now. Ben let her know he has no interest in her.”

“Well, at least he's finally got his head out of his ass," Rose agreed, sitting back down on the plush leather couch. "So, you're both doing good then?"

“Yeah, I think we are. There’s a lot of whatever under the bridge, but we’re working through it. Therapy helps.”

“You’re in therapy together?” Rose tilted her head, eyes wide.

“Better to be in therapy than have us air our dirty laundry in front of Leo,” Rey shrugged, her hand rubbing her growing stomach.

Rose whistled, “with all _that_ I’d imagine so.”

"He's actually been very consistent in seeing Cassie as his own," Rey could not have hidden the beaming pride she felt if she tried.

“If you say so. Still upset I never got the chance to beat his ass for you.”

Rey chuckled, “you did get to have a lightsaber battle with Phasma, at least.”

“I totally won that fight.”

“Yeah, you did,” Rey arched her brow, “So you ever going to tell me about how you, Finn and Poe became a thing?”

“Well, Finn was the one you called the most. Sometimes it would get so late with us all video chatting on Skype that I would just stay over,” Rose explained with a flush to her cheeks.

“And, of course you’d hear them going at it like rabbits. They did the same thing when I lived with them,” Rey shook her head, “even after Leo was born, ‘he’s too young to remember.’”

“Let me guess, Poe? Same man who, after his marathon sex, walks out into the living room-”

“Buck ass naked-”

“Drinking straight from the carton like a heathen-”

“Not giving a crap who sees him-”

“And flashing that stupidly hot smirk when you see him. Oh my god yes! He did it all the time. Still does, actually.”

“So...” Rey trailed off, urging Rose to give her more details by wiggling her eyebrows.

“Lots of drinking, lots of sort of flirting, and one night just turned into _all_ the nights,” Rose smiled. “I just never left after that, moved my shit in, and that’s that.” She leaned back against the couch, looking for all the world like the cat that caught all the canaries.

Rey wrapped her arms around the tiny woman. “I’m so glad you’re all happy.”

Rose reciprocated the embrace. “Same. It’s been one hell of a ride.”

“So, you have to tell me, which one’s the top?” Rey leaned forward, the question had burned in her mind for years. Neither one would answer her when pressed. At least now she could get an answer to another mystery in her life.

“Oh, you’re not going to even believe it...”

 

* * *

 

Phasma looked so out of place sitting at the dinner table, with Leo staring up at her in awe. “I could have just gone home-”

“Nonsense. We used to be friends once, Phasma. Now that I know you never actively tried to interfere in my life, maybe we should actually try being friends again,” Rey shook her head, sipping her iced tea.

“I thought you hated me?” Phasma twirled her fork, gathering a large heap of spaghetti.

“You’re Ben’s work wife, and I’m his wife wife. We need to work together to help make his company successful, and protect him from outside threats,” Rey explained.

"What's a work wife?" Leo asked, red sauce spread across his chubby cheeks.

“Why don’t you go ask your daddy? He needs to stop worrying and come eat dinner before it gets cold,” Rey shifted in her seat, feeling Cassie kick her spleen in - what Rey was going to assume was - agreement.

“Okay!” Leo cheered, slipping down the chair and rushing through the house, Kylo hot on his heels.

“No running in the house, Leonardo!” Rey called after him.

Phasma’s lips curled into a soft smile. “You’re a wonderful mother, Rey.”

Rey flushed under the woman’s praise. “Oh, well thank you. It’s a hard job, but I love it.” She stared the blonde amazon down until their eyes met. “I meant what I said Phas, I buried the hatchet. Takes too much energy to hate.”

“That’s true...”

“Besides, I need an ally at his work. His secretary hates me, she always snipes at me when I call him,” Rey explained, pointing her fork at Phasma.

“Jealous hag,” Rey could see the hint of a smirk on the other woman’s lips.

“That she is, and that hair. Hello Frizz Queen, ever heard of hair product? You work for my husband, you’ve clearly seen his hair.”

Phasma burst out in laughter. “He still doing his thirty-minute hair ritual?"

“Thirty minutes? Now it’s almost forty-five, and he’s trying to start with Leo already!” Rey slapped her hand down on the table.

“He might as well get started now, since he already has Solo’s hair,” Phasma chuckled.

Rey groaned, “just what I need, little Leo growing into a fussy preteen, worried about his hair.”

“He’ll have all the girls in knots, but at least he’ll have you to make sure he doesn’t turn into a heart-breaker like his father.”

“Lord knows I’ve heard the stories,” Rey replied. Silence hung in the air, and she filled it by swirling a large helping of noodles onto her fork. She filled her mouth, willing the awkwardness to abate.

Phasma bowed her head, “I was wrong, you know.”

Rey tried to speak, but with her mouth filled with noodles and sauce, she had to chew and swallow.

“You were always the best of us, you and Armitage. I’m terribly sorry for what I said that day, Rey,” Phasma looked up, and her sorrow was wiped away as she watched Rey struggle to swallow her filled cheeks. “Oh lord, don’t just shovel it all in. You’re going to choke, and then Solo’s going to have my hide.”

Rey squeezed her eyes closed and continued to chomp down. Heat flooded her cheeks at the deep baritone chuckle from the hallway. Eyes flashing open, she saw Leo pointing at her with his fingers spread over his lips, and Ben nodding to his son – a shit eating grin on his plush lips.

“You know Leo threatened you were going to eat everything if I didn’t come to dinner right this second,” Ben continued to tease her, “I guess I should have believed him.”

“Oh, stuff it,” Phasma shot back, “your wife’s pregnant, Solo. Have some compassion.”

“I would, but it appears she’s stuffing that into her black hole of a mouth, as well,” he snorted.

Rey managed to swallow and glared daggers at her husband. “Phas, you want to get out of here, maybe grab some gelato and complain about men and their stupid penises?”

Phasma pushed out her chair and stood, offering her arm to Rey. “Gladly.”

“What about me, Mama?” Leo piped up.

“I’ll bring you back some,” Rey promised, leaning down to whisper in her son’s ear. “You have my permission not to be good for your father for an hour.”

_Call my mouth a black hole?_ Well, she wouldn't be sucking his cock for a while. She glared back at her still snickering husband. _We’ll see who’s laughing then._

 

* * *

 

Rey had been reveling in Ben’s whining the past two weeks. He had not gotten laid since his little jab, and he was still attempting to worm his way back into their bed. The spare bedroom and his home office served as his ‘doghouse’. Things had been progressing fine, with all the foot and back-rubs she could want. Any time she had a craving, it was satisfied without her even having to ask. Now though – Rey stared at her shirtless husband from the door to the nursery – now she wished he was not in trouble.

She had an ache that needed rubbing, a craving that needed to be filled – and the damn man had a fucking smirk on his lips. He _knew_ what he was doing to her, the smug prick.

Bare-chested – glistening with sweat – putting together the crib while Leo handed him screws was the single sexiest thing Rey had seen in a long time.

“Hand me one of the long ones, buddy,” Ben called out, his voice sounding strained and gravelly.

Leo looked through his pile and handed a long screw to his father. “Here, Daddy.”

“Thanks, I needed a long screw,” Ben’s honeyed eyes met hers, and Rey whimpered from the doorway.

"Mama!" Leo cheered, standing up and running over to her. All at once he joy at seeing her morphed into a stern frown. "You need to be laying down. It's not good for Cassie!" her sassy four-year-old scolded.

Rey blinked, offering Ben an exasperated smile. Leo had become even more overprotective than Ben had been. She was _sure_ he was coaching her former angel into the tyrant he was becoming. She just needed proof.

Too bad she had lost any sense of stealth in her second trimester. "Leo, I am your mother, and Cassie's mother, and I will come upstairs to see my boys if I want to," she crossed her arms and stared down at the small boy.

"Daddy! Mama's being mean! Go make her lie down so we can finish Cassie's room," he demanded, stomping his own foot.

Ben stood up, brushing off his pants and slowly approached them. “Want me to _take_ you to bed, Little One?” he purred, bending down to whisper hotly in her ear.

“You did this. Somehow, you made this happen,” Rey accused, struggling to hold onto her fire in the wake of her husband’s clear lust for her.

She felt Ben’s eyes rove over her body – branding her, owning her, worshiping her. “Oh? I’ll just go back to setting up the nursery then.”

As Ben turned, Rey's hand shot out, gripping his sweat-slick arm. She nearly slipped, her weight shifting as her tiny hand slid down his wrist. Ben spun on his heel and cradled her to his chest. "Whoops,” Rey winced.

“Whelp, you’re certainly going to lie down, _now_. Leo, go play for a bit. I have to discipline your mother for being _naughty,”_ Ben explained, never looking back and sweeping her into his arms.

If she were not already dripping with need before, Rey certainly was now. His rippling muscles danced as he held her in a bridal carry. His sure steps carried her to their bedroom, and she could see Leo smiling as he waved. She offered a weak one back to him before her son turned around, going the opposite way to his toy room.

_At least Ben had the foresight to soundproof our bedroom._

 

* * *

 

“You shouldn't have waited two weeks for me, Little One. Your little cunt is so needy for me _,_ ” Ben whispered against her quivering pussy.

Rey would have snapped back at him, but after drawing two consecutive orgasms with his lips, tongue, and one very lucky – but not nearly enough – finger, nothing was coming – except her. Words were hard.

“Hnnnng,” she moaned, her teeth biting into her fist.

“I’m sorry for joking about your sweet, perfect little mouth, baby. You know how much I adore it wrapped around my thick cock. Daddy’s been alone for weeks waiting for you, so now he’s going to take his time.”

“ _No_ ,” Rey whimpered, she needed him inside her – now damn it!

Ben continued to torture her with his plush lips. “Then next time, maybe don’t send me halfway across the house over a joke, Little One. This is a punishment, and you know your safe word. But, if you’re a good girl and take your punishment, I’ll reward that aching cunt and mark it up with all the cum I’ve been saving for you.”

And all coherency flew out the window. Fuck words, Rey wanted – needed – Ben’s cock to pound her into the mattress like a god damned whore.

And _eventually_ , he did.

 

* * *

 

_The door of his office slammed wide open, and Alistair Snoke sneered at the bottle blonde bimbo who had once again_ failed _him. “Dear niece, I would think you had learned_ some _manners from your time with the Solo’s.”_

“ _This is an emergency!” she shrieked, slamming his door shut._

Of course, it is - it's _always_ something with this woman, _he thought, grinding his teeth. “How have you managed to fuck it all up this time, Bazine?”_

_A feeling of vindictive glee filled him as he watched his second wife's niece freeze and glower back at him. It was a pity he had killed Ella, she had always been his favorite plaything. Bazine had her looks, but none of her brains. Ella just had to go and get herself a conscious. At least her niece showed no signs of growing one._

“ _The rumors are true. He’s gotten her pregnant. Stephanie was very clear that Ben plans on changing his will again. He’s set up another meeting with his Estate lawyer for the end of the month!”_

_Alistair felt the smile crack across his face. “This is amazing news. Rey is now even more of a liability for him.”_

_His niece, unable to see the bigger picture, only continued to scowl. “He loves her, Uncle! He fucking loves her, and she’s carrying his child. How in the hell am I going to win him back now?”_

_Alistair waved his hysterical niece off. “Short of killing her and the babe? You probably will not.”_

_Bazine threw her hands in the air. “He’s trying to order her a security detail. Stephanie keeps setting up appointments for them to come to the house. That bitch still hasn’t accepted one yet.”_

“ _Well, then it looks like for now - Ben Solo is lost to you. Soon enough he’ll be under my thumb, but I like the power his stubborn wife has over him. I think it would be in our best interests to keep her around,” Alistair stood from the desk, walking over to his niece and wrapping her into a strong hug. He knew the hysterics would only worsen now._

“ _But you said he would be mine!” the woman wailed, the high pitched noise grating on his nerves._

And here she goes. Her obsession with the Solo heir is proving to be more trouble than she’s worth. Pity. _He pulled away and stared down at his errant niece, speaking slowly and with a harsh threat thinly veiled. "At one time I said it would be best if he was yours. Things have changed, and we must adapt if we are to succeed."_

“ _Ben Solo is mine!”_

Crack.

_Alistair stared at his niece in shock. Her hand quickly recoiled from his cheek. The rage that had been simmering under the surface burst forth. He stared down at her, his eyes slits. He took a calming breath, because he had no desire to spill blood on his ancient Egyptian rug._

_"Get out of my sight. For that, you'll never have Ben Solo by your side. If you can not control yourself, you are useless to me. Even Rey - an unknowing pawn in all this - is proving far more useful than you!" He roared._

_He watched his niece scramble and rush out of his office. He ignored her sobs, signs of a weaker apprentice. At least the daughter of one of his former business rivals had at least managed to wrap Ben Solo around her finger. He took care of that man’s father, and subsequently Sheev’s son as well. Now, he need only threaten her and her unborn child, and Solo would cave._

_He just needed to be delicate about this matter. He had a few weeks to iron out all the details. At least Solo still hadn't realized his loyal secretary had been bought. Oh, he would have the wealth of the Naberrie-Skywalker-Organa-Solo clan. With Rey Solo in the mix, he also had access to the Hux vaults. Soon, Alistair Snoke would have his empire._

_His trap would soon spring, decades of planning, and_ finally _the end was in sight. The former scavenger had no idea she was to be his most effective weapon. His niece had served her purpose, but little Rey had crossed the board a pawn and become a queen. If Bazine, his former queen, continued to act like a spoiled brat - she was about to have a lot more in common with her aunt than she realized._

_Alistair walked over to the chess board in his office. He studied the board and shifted a few pieces. Finally, his spindly fingers rested over the white queen._

“ _Soon, Solo. Soon,” he swore, picking up the white crystal piece and bringing it closer to his face. “Your compassion for her was always going to be your downfall. Ben Solo, heir apparent to Vader. Losing your queen once caused you to self destruct and almost bring your family to ruin. This time, I’ll make sure it sticks,” he spoke softly while caressing the crystal crown of the white chess piece._

_But first, he had the Tano's to finish off. With a toss of his hand, he watched the crystal piece shatter against the wall. A dark grin – sharp teeth reflecting the dimming light of the sunset – spread across his cracked lips while his whole body was draped in golden light. The shattered pieces sparkled - spread out across the floor as the daylight faded._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves...The climax is coming next chapter, and I'm downright giddy to get to it. Chapter twelve is written and thirteen is on it's way. I'm so excited and nervous for you guys to read it. You have no idea. <3
> 
> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt  
> ["Chasing Cars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w) By: Snow Patrol


	12. Chasing Cars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sends Ben off to have some Man time. Rey gets a call from someone. Rey goes to the Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Beta has, as always done an amazing job! [Heathyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) you keep an eye on things for me, as you know exactly where I'll be for the next while.

Rey wondered for the millionth time if she was cursed. Setting her aching feet onto the ottoman, she watched as Ben paced the living room. “Ben,” she called.

“I should just tell them I can’t risk missing anything. The tenth is only three weeks away. What if you go into labor?” Ben waved his hands through the air, his hair and eyes wild and whipping around as his head swiveled from one side to the other.

If she did not know her husband better, she would have suspected someone had slipped him some cocaine. “Ben,” Rey said, trying to keep her annoyance out of her tone.

“I’m just going to stay home,” Ben declared, throwing his hands into the air.

“Oh for the love of- Ben! Listen to me!” Rey snapped, finally raising her voice after listening to the man she loved rant for the last half hour.

His eyes widened even further, and it would have been comical if Rey had not tossed out the last fuck she had to give about five minutes beforehand. “Sunshine? Is it time? What’s wrong?” he rushed out in a panic, kneeling before her.

Rey reached out and grabbed a fistful of her husband’s basketball jersey. “Shut up. Stop worrying. Go hang out with Poe and Finn and the other dude bro’s and enjoy your basketball match.”

“It’s not just a match, Rey. March Madness is-”

“I don’t care!” Rey shouted, beginning to shake the man. “You’ve been paranoid the last month and a half,” she would never dare to mention the incident that made him a paranoid mess – lest she wanted to be locked in the bedroom with him for another weekend with only Netflix and Amazon to entertain her. At least Lucifer was a sinfully hilarious distraction.

Ben opened his beautiful – and stupid – mouth to respond. “Yes well-”

“Nope, my turn to rant. You haven’t left the house except for work. You won’t let me be alone in our house. And you keep trying to hire nannies that look like hitmen!” Rey heaved a breath, her eyebrow twitching.

“Shane Wolfe was great with Leo,” Ben started.

Rey really hoped she could actually shake some sense into her husband’s brain. At least he was humoring her and letting her actually shake him like a doll. “He literally was a former U.S. Navy Seal, Benjamin! I’ve seen _The Pacifier._ You’re trying to hire a bodyguard for me and Leo. Still!”

“But-”

“I said no, dang it! I don’t want one, nor do I need one!” Rey screamed, then pursed her lips so as not to laugh at seeing the spittle all over Ben’s pouting cheeks.

“Fine. Then let me have the party here-”

“No, you need to get your ass out of the house! I’m kicking you out. Don’t come back until your March Madden is over!”

“March Madness!” Ben tried to stand up, but Rey was not releasing her hold on him yet – still shaking him a bit.

"Who cares. You Americans still call Football, soccer."

“I’m not having a fight with you over sports,” Ben sighed, pulling back and using the bottom of his jersey to wipe the wet off his face. Rey let him go when she saw what he was about to do.

She winced but remembered, Ben _was_ a man. A gross, beer chugging, disgusting man. Who needed to get that out of his system by being around other men. Why the hell was he so averse to being told to go have a testosterone party with the boys? She desperately held onto her disgust – even while his abs were on full display three feet from her face.

“Then you take your ass out of this house! Go hoot and holler, beat your chest and make friends!” Rey slowly pushed herself up off the couch to use all five foot seven inches of pregnant rage to intimidate him – hands going to her hips – because she meant business. “Or I swear to god, Ben, you won’t get laid again until all our children are in college!”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he hissed, full lips already drawing into a pout.

Rey could even see his lips beginning to wobble a bit. _Oh no you don’t!_ “Don’t even bother. Our son has made me immune to the Solo pout! Now march!” Rey pointed towards the door.

They stood staring at each other, neither one moving – or even seeming to breathe. Finally, Ben broke and wrapped his arms around her in as tight of a hug he dared give her. She was not going to break, but she did understand his caution. _He’s such a damn drama queen._

“You promise you’ll call if you need me for _anything?_ Even if it’s just to sing Leo to sleep or wish you goodnight?” Ben pressed a litany of kisses to her neck and shoulder.

Rey melted under his gentle ministrations. Like hot butter, she went limp in his arms. "If you insist. I'll call you tonight."

“Good! I love you, Sunshine,” Ben whispered, his lips caressing the shell of her ear.

Rey sagged back into the plush comfort of the couch. “I know. Now go measure dicks with the boys and have fun,” she pressed a quick peck to his lips when he bent down. “I’ll be just fine, Ben. Go play with the boys,” she added as she spied the paranoia creep back into his gaze.

“Okay, okay. I’m going. Just – I love you, Rey. Be safe,” she could hear the adoration – and the pleading – weighing down his words. When those three words still would not come from her lips, the flash of hurt in his honeyed orbs made her heart reciprocate the ache he must be feeling.

She waved her hand indicating he – and the emotional knife wound –could go. “Mhmm. Bye Ben,” she turned her attention back to Netflix.

Listening as the door to the garage closed after him, Rey bit her thumb as her thoughts raced. Why was it so damn hard for her to say those words back? She knew she still loved him, she had never stopped if she were completely honest. But every time she had a chance to say them back she hesitated, and something else vomited out in their place.

_I’ll tell him when he gets back,_ Rey decided, resuming the episode of _Lucifer_ she had been binge-watching before Ben began freaking out. The devilish antics of Tom Ellis reminded her of Armitage. While she missed him dearly, watching the Devil play detective with that wit and candor soothed her fraying nerves. She could almost hear him nagging at her for not saying the words that were locked behind her lips.

_First thing when I see him, Armie. I’ll tell him, promise,_ Rey swore as she looked heavenward.

 

* * *

 

“Mama!” Leo startled Rey from her dreams about a Demon Ben with an impressive set of horns on his head.

“Huh – wha...Leo?” Rey wiped a bit of drool from her cheek. “What is it baby?” she asked, sitting up a bit.

“Your phone!” Leo offered her the vibrating cellphone.

Rey saw the unknown number and blinked the sleep from her eyes. “It’s probably nothing, Sweetie. Mama’s going to let it go to voicemail.”

“This is the third call!” He shoved the phone closer.

Rey watched the call end before she could answer. “Where is Heather?”

“She’s working on her stories, and I wanted to make sure you and Cassie were okay,” Leo shrugged before trying to wrap his arms around her baby bump.

“We’re just fine, Sweetie,” Rey kissed his forehead, “but thank you for checking up on us.”

Leo snuggled up next to her, laying his head on her stomach – listening while holding his breath. “When will Cassie come out? I want to meet my sister. Daddy and I have already got her room all ready!”

“Soon, Sweetie,” Rey ran her fingers through Leo’s raven locks.

“Hey Mama, do you think-”

The phone vibrating loudly against the coffee table startled them both. Kylo growled and barked at the phone. “Oh for the love of – Kylo – it’s just a phone. Stop that.”

Rey reached out and was going to raise fresh hell on the moron who thought calling her over and over was a good idea. At least that was the plan.

“Rey,” Phasma’s voice cracked a bit as she answered the call.

Heart plummeting into her bowels, Rey gripped the phone in her hand tighter. “Phas? What’s wrong? Are you alright? Is...is Ben alright?”

“You’d know better than I would,” she chuckled. “I could be doing better, though. Listen – I’m in over my head with trying to stop that snake from getting his claws into Ben’s company. I need another pair of eyes.”

“Oh?” Rey felt relief flood through her. The soothing calm sunk in further when she placed a shaking hand to her racing heart. “You should come over, then,” Rey suggested.

“I would, but,” there was a pregnant pause and a heavy sigh. When she continued her voice was even more muffled than before, “Listen I think we’ve been infiltrated, I’m not at work right now.”

Rey froze. “The secretary! I told you she hated me.”

“She’s not the only one,” Phasma agreed with a dark laugh.

“Okay, I get that I’m not popular around the office because I snagged Ben Solo, but you think that would make them betray the entire company?” Rey bit her lip, hoping she did not somehow cause all this extra drama just for choosing to do what was right for her family.

“Who knows?” Phasma’s response was flippant. “Listen, can you meet me? Maybe a park? If Ben’s work has been infiltrated, then what’s to say his house staff hasn’t been as well. You never hired one of those ‘nannies’, right?”

Rey snorted. “You mean the bodyguards he tried to disguise as nannies? No. I think I can get Mitaka to drive me somewhere.”

“You can’t drive yourself?”

“Still thirty-seven weeks pregnant, Phas.”

“Right. Of course.”

“Also, why aren’t you calling from your cell?” Rey wondered, something niggling at the back of her mind.

“I think my phone’s been compromised as well. Alistair Snoke is well connected to some very shady individuals. I’m using a burner phone. I can’t tell you more. It’s bad, Rey. I think it’s about to get worse for Ben. I have some ideas but I can’t risk telling you over the phone.”

Rey wanted nothing more than to help the man she loved out of the stressful mess he had found himself in since her return to the States. But _something_ was still bothering her. “Why a park?”

“Bring Leo, we can use him as cover. Just two ladies out with the little munchkin.”

Rey glanced over at Leo, who was playing with Kylo on the floor. “I don’t know. I should call Ben.”

“No!” the shout startled Rey in its volume so much that she had to yank the phone away from her ringing ear.

“What?” she blinked, slowly bringing it back to her ear.

"I mean, you think he'll let you do anything to help him right now? He's paranoid and overprotective right now. There is no way he would let you risk yourself to help him. Even if it were the only way."

Rey knew that truer words had probably never been spoken. She still felt something niggling in the back of her mind – an itch she could neither scratch nor place. Still - she glanced over to Leo, the mini Ben Solo with freckles, playing with Kylo on the floor – if she could help Ben, she had to take the chance.

“Alright, text me the address and I’ll have Mitaka bring me,” Rey agreed.

The niggling was probably indigestion – or Cassie throwing a rave with her internal organs. _Everything’s fine._

“Okay, and make sure to bring the little cutie. This won’t take too long,” Phasma’s voice crackled a bit again, and Rey pulled the phone away from her ear.

“Bye, Phas,” Rey called.

“Goodbye, Niima,” Phasma replied before hanging up.

Rey blinked at her phone. Gwen used to call her Niima before everything went pear-shaped, but she was not Niima any longer. Then again, Phasma was probably stressed and the old nickname was comforting – if not odd. It was not like Phasma could not call both her and Ben ‘Solo’ now.

Rey shrugged her shoulders, rolling her neck and wiggling herself off the couch. “Leo, can you go to the intercom and call Mitaka for me, please?”

Leo turned and leveled her with a disappointed frown. “Mama, we’re supposed to stay home while Daddy’s gone.”

Leo was adorable, but in this moment Rey had enough of being bossed around and fretted over by the Solo men. She was not about to take him with her to talk with Phasma. The jutting chin, the furrowed brow, judgmental hazel eyes, and the scrunched nose all indicated a tantrum was well on its way.

“We’re going to go visit grandma and grandpa,” Rey decided, knowing that would stave off her son’s tantrum while also providing her with someone to watch Leo while Rey helped Phasma. One that would not rat her out to Ben until after the problem was solved.

"Oh!" Leo went from a potential eruption to an eager puppy in about two seconds flat. "Yay! We can be with grandma and grandpa. They'll help if Cassie decides to come out early."

_And there it is. I swear, I love the man, but using our son to get away with his overprotective malarkey,_ Rey groaned internally while pasting a smile to her face, _I’m going to have words with him when I see him again._

 

* * *

 

Rey wrapped the black dress coat around herself, burying her face into the collar and inhaled. The soothing scent of Ben - parchment, cinnamon, and pine forest - flooded her senses and soothed the still irritating, nagging sensation she had been having all morning. After dropping Leo off with Leia the irritation had died down somewhat. At least it had until she stepped foot into the quiet park.

She had never been to Endor Park, and witnessing the depressing state of the facilities, she now knew why. It was little more than a run down and forgotten relic of the past. It had probably been years since it was last properly maintained.

Leaving Leo behind had been a wise choice after all. He would get tetanus for sure if he tried to play on the rickety looking jungle gym. Rey thought she might get it from just looking at the eye sore. She found the least questionable looking bench and sat down. She had no idea how long she and Phasma would be talking but - at thirty seven weeks pregnant - any amount of time was too long for her swollen feet.

Rey looked around, but not only was the place bordering on decrepit, it was also desolate. Not another soul around, not even a random squirrel or bird.

It was a weekday, but the fact that the park was completely deserted bothered Rey a bit - decrepit eyesore or no. It was still March, and chilly enough for gloves. This was not their usual park either, nearly an hour drive from her home. Rey had asked Mitaka to go scouting for some Thai food, as she had a craving for curry and was sure Phasma would appreciate a bit of food while they talked.

Leia had been more than understanding. She beamed at Rey and encouraged her to do whatever she could to help, while also stressing her son was an idiot for not seeking her help sooner. Rey was sure her mother-in-law would also be having words with Ben. She and Han were thrilled to watch their grandson for a while. Leia had been a bit confused at the location and Phasma’s paranoia, but she, too, had waved it off.

“ _It’s probably warranted. I know the police and FBI have been trying to get enough dirt on that monster for years. Lord knows my father never trusted the man, I’ll see if Han can’t find the old files he had compiled. Anakin Skywalker was nothing if not thorough.”_

With Leia’s help, Rey was sure the three of them could come up with a way to help Ben. One should never doubt what a mother would do for their children, especially not Leia Organa-Solo. Rey hoped she would be just as fierce and effective in protecting her own children if they were ever threatened.

Surveying the park, and the few patches of green trying to push through the white snow, Rey pulled out her phone to check the time. She had been here at least thirty minutes. _Where the heck is Phasma?_ Rey thought, while she shivered in the early spring air - winter was still clinging desperately to the air for a bit more relevance.

Rey heard the crunch of snow behind her, and before she could turn around – or even call out – cold metal dug into the back of her head.

Panic flooded her system, adrenaline pumping through her veins as she stuttered out, “I’m pregnant, but you can take my purse. Have it, just let me go, please.”

“I don’t want your money, Niima. I want to make you suffer, then finally get rid of you!” Phasma’s voice sneered at her.

Now that she heard it, and maybe it was the fact that Rey was hyper-focused on the voice, it sounded _off._

“Phas?”

“Stand up, bitch,” the female snarled, and Rey struggled to comply. The metal dug into her head harder, and Rey bit her lip to keep from crying out. “I don’t have all day!”

“I’m pregnant, it takes a bit,” Rey bit out, the fire of her defiance returning to her.

The metal cracked against the back of her head, and Rey’s vision went white for a moment. “I’m in fucking charge here, you bitch. So if you want me to drag your torture out, keep pushing,” the shrill voice shrieked.

Rey finally recognized the voice, the false impression slipping fully. She turned her head and caught the profile of the last person she wanted to see.

_Bazine ‘Gold Digging Crazy Bitch’ Netal. Might want to add delusional and stalker to that title,_ Rey thought as her jaw dropped, and her mind raced.

“Bazine,” Rey’s breath rushed out of her chest. “Why are you doing this? How are you even here?”

Bazine kept the gun pointed at her. Dressed in her own sleek black coat, hair perfectly coiffed and makeup caked on, the woman who had ruined her life stood holding a Glock and giving her a deranged smile. Eyes wide, teeth bared, painted red lips pulled into a grin, with her nose tilted into the air in victory.

She looked every bit of the crazed stalker ex one would expect to see on Law and Order. “I was the one who called you, dumb bitch. Took Phasma forever to realize I’ve been impersonating her for years to get closer to Ben.”

Rey bristled. “You, you were the one who made sure I couldn’t get a job? Insurance to take care of my children!” Rey seethed internally, watching the woman stalk around the bench to stand directly in front of her. She made sure to keep the gun pointed at her head.

Bazine shrugged. “I was hoping you’d be so desperate you’d marry Dameron. Considering you were shacking up with him, having you marry him for insurance would have been ideal.”

Rey quaked with rage. “If I had insurance... If I had proper medical care, then… Then Luna might still be alive!” Rey screamed, tears streaking down her face.

Bazine cackled. "Who knows? You should have stayed away, Niima. Instead, you got Dameron to put you on his show. What'd you do, suck his cock until he agreed?"

This could not be happening. She was asleep, having a nightmare after watching too many episodes of Lucifer. Rey shook her head, numb to the cold or from it – and the increasing fear. “He’s my friend. He wanted Ben and the rest of them to know what he had done. I had no idea it was all you!” Rey bit out.

"Oh, and it _was_ all me. I noticed Benny was stressed, and that something was wrong. He wouldn't open up, and neither would anyone else. But once I drugged Phasma into spilling all the dirty secrets, I could _finally_ get him back.”

Rey stopped breathing. “You drugged her?”

Bazine rolled her eyes. “Oh, do keep up! I got a weak ruffie from someone my Uncle knew and slipped it to her. She spilled her secrets and then I left her there. She made it home alright - with Hux’s help. I thought for sure they would fuck. Didn’t know he still had a thing for you. If I would have known, I would have tried to get you two together a long time ago.”

Rey was stunned with the revelations spilling from the hateful harpies lips. She knew Mitaka would be back, and while not a hired bodyguard – she now regretted her vehement dismissal of Ben’s desire to hire her a bodyguard – he did own a gun. He also knew how to use it. Or, if he saw her in trouble, or if _anyone_ saw her in trouble, 9-1-1 would be on their way. She just needed to keep Bazine talking – gloating – about her ‘brilliant’ plans.

"You, you know about Hux and me?" Rey stuttered, bringing a hand to her lips and gasping. She was going to act her little heart out. “But-”

“And people say _I’m_ the ditsy gold digging bimbo. At least I don’t come from literal garbage,” Bazine sniffed at Rey, raising her nose as if she smelled foul. “ _Of course_ I found out. We had you followed the minute you left the country.”

"We?" If she got out of this, Rey was going to make sure both of the fuckers who ruined her life and led to her daughter's death paid for it in blood. She had a good idea of who this other person was.

“Yes, we. But we’ll get to that later. This is my time to shine, not theirs. So, where was I?” Bazine rambled on, waving the hand with the gun around in circles as she thought.

If Rey were not very heavily pregnant, she would have taken her chances and tackled the crazed bitch right then. “Oh right? I was telling you how I managed to ruin your life. So, I found a decent look-a-like, hired her to make out with a friend, and showed the pictures to Ben. He was absolutely furious. I kept him in enough of a blood rage and pushed all his buttons so he wouldn't listen to you."

Rey remembered that night. The silent, unyielding rage of the man she loved staring back at her. He had never been so wound up before, so unhinged. Ben had always had anger issues, but he kept them under wraps - and he was better when she was around to lay a calming hand on his arm.

_At least now I really can blame her for that, too. If she’s capable of all this, she had us all fooled. She played us all into her hand._ “You played us all,” Rey admitted, the words bitter and threatening to send bile up her throat. Maybe if she puked on Bazine she could startle her enough to get the gun out of her hands.

Not the best plan, but a good back up.

Bazine tossed her head back and continued to cackle. "Oh, you have no idea, Niima. None of you do, not even my Uncle."

_Who in the fuck is her uncle? Why does she keep bringing him up? Question for later - if I need more time. Hurry up Mitaka, how hard it is to find a Thai place and bring back food?_ Rey's thoughts raced, but for now, she had time.

“There’s more?” Rey laced her words with as much shock as she could. The fear in her voice was not hard to come by, her entire body was racked with tremors now.

“Oh you poor fool,” Bazine cooed, waving the gun up and down her body. “What any man sees in you, I have no idea. You must suck his cock like a pro. Probably the only way you were able to survive on the streets.”

Rey felt her eye twitch as she tried to keep her face impassive, but the rage would not be held back. It was crashing through her like a tsunami. Hurricane Rey wanted nothing more than to level Craze City - population one - Bazine Netal. "I mean, you're not wrong. Ben does say I give the best head he's ever had. Armie said that, too."

The smirk that had been etched across Bazine’s manic face curled into a scowl. The mirth in her eyes shifted into a heated fury that could curdle milk. “He said the same to me,” Bazine taunted, trying to regain her haughty edge.

Rey thought the act was rather pathetic. She would have commented, if not for the gun pointed at her chest. Instead, she held her tongue, and let the fury and pain show fully on her face. Bazine was enjoying her reactions - so she would give the insane cunt what she wanted.

“Still, after I managed to get him to push away all his friends and family, even that pest Hux, I had him! Ben Solo was finally mine, and you were just a bitter memory,” Bazine crowed.

Rey allowed the smirk to curl onto her lips. “You didn’t plan for Dameron and my friends,” she taunted.

She really needed to not taunt the person threatening her with a gun. She had always been a bit reckless. If she were going to die here, she was not going to completely bow down to the crazed cow.

“No, but even then, you fled the country with Hux. I had a real chance to win my Benny back after he calmed down. You had a good thing with that ginger fuckwad. It’s a damn shame he died,” Bazine heaved a sigh.

Rey’s fists shook. How dare this bitch speak about Armitage like that? How dare she act as if his death was an inconvenience to her? Rey felt red hot fury take hold of her hand. Just before she was about to raise her hand to strike, sunlight glinted off the metal of the gun and Rey forced herself to calm down. Armitage taught her how to verbally spar with the best. She needed to keep a level head - because clearly - Bazine had lost her own.

She could do this, she only needed a bit more time.

She absolutely could not put Cassie at risk. As much as she wanted to tear Bazine apart for speaking about one of the men she loved – and one of the fathers of her children – she could not bring herself to do it. Oh, but she wanted to beat this bitch into the dirt for speaking ill of the man who pieced her heart back together.

Rey could not resist a jab at the pathetic mess in front of her. “If not for Armitage helping me to trust, to love again, I’m not sure Ben and I would have ever rekindled our relationship successfully.”

The jibe had the desired effect, Bazine's already wide eyes grew even larger and more shifty. "Good for you," she spat.

“Thank you, Bazine. I’ll always treasure what Armitage and I shared,” Rey admitted with a soft smile.

She really needed to shut her mouth. Something about Bazine just made Rey’s skin crawl and her hackles rise. It probably had something to do with that haughty look she always wore, or that she was the person most at fault for the death of her daughter.

“Then you’ll be happy when I send you back to him, with your dead daughter,” Bazine taunted, aiming the gun.

_Fuck!_ She knew her mouth was going to get her into trouble. Thinking on her feet had always been one of her strengths, luckily. "If you kill me, Ben will never be yours, Bazine. He despised you after he learned you had a hand in his daughter's death. If you kill me and another one of his children – another daughter – he'll never forgive you. He’d be out for your blood.”

Bazine’s lips curled into a frown, and Rey watched the emotions dance across her face. Fear, anger, sadness, then pride. “Yes, but you came here to talk with Phasma, not me. He’ll never know. I’ve been turning him against her, as well.”

Rey blinked, “How in the hell did you do that?”

_Keep her talking._ Her legs ached, her cheeks stung in the cold winter wind, and all Rey could do was keep her talking.

“His secretary. You were right on the money, she hates you. I told her I’d let her fuck Ben once he was mine again. Though she doesn’t need to know I don’t plan on paying up on that, either. I’m sure my Uncle can help arrange an accident for her,” Bazine taunted once more, taking aim with the gun. “She’s been blaming any mishaps on Phasma for the last several months.”

Adrenaline, fear, and sheer force of will kept the questions flowing from Rey’s lips. She only needed a bit more time. “You keep bringing him up. Who’s your uncle?”

Bazine cackled, relaxing the arm holding the gun a bit more. “You really are slow. Or pregnancy brain is a real thing. Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

Rey shook her head. She would bet her life it was the same son of a bitch that had threatened her years before, only a few months before she and Ben had split. “No,” she lied.

"Alistair Snoke is my Uncle. Well, he was my uncle when he was married to my aunt. He's since remarried, but we've always been close. He took me under his wing in high school. Taught me everything he knows."

That made perfect sense. Well, hopefully, the universe would take her bet into consideration and preserve her life now. "Why would you want Ben? If Snoke gets his company, Ben’s not worth-”

“I’ve never cared about his wealth!” Bazine shrieked, taking a step closer and pressing the gun against the valley of her sore breasts.

Rey blinked, honestly and completely stunned. “Y-you aren’t?”

“No! I’ve loved him since I was sixteen!” she continued to scream, backing away and curling up. The gun was still pointed at her, but Bazine’s hands were shaking.

_Maybe I could_ -

“Stay back!” Bazine demanded, all at once the depression wiped from her face.

_Damn it, that might have been my one chance._ “Listen, I didn’t know. I thought-”

"I know exactly what you thought! I've known Ben Solo for years. He was the only one who didn't treat me like trash, like I was a whore! I _love_ him! I’ve _always_ loved him. He was supposed to be mine. Then _you_ showed up! You were supposed to distract Hux, not Ben!”

Rey frowned, confusion furrowing her brow. _Supposed to distract Armitage? What is she going on about now?_ “What?”

“When you were sent to that bar by Unkar Plutt to pick up something for him! You were hand-picked to distract Hux. So that my uncle could cripple the business and take over. Hux was in the way. Then you really got in the way, and Hux became an even bigger pain in the ass.”

Rey blinked, she had been a puppet on a string this whole time? Or more like she had been a pawn in that twisted monster’s game. That was a terrible plan. Had Alistair Snoke not realized the human element of his plan? She was not a complicit piece, and had irrevocably changed the entire game.

Falling in love with Ben Solo had not been in the cards, and yet despite the machinations of others, it still happened. It was not fate, or destiny, or any other such nonsense. It was a choice, one both she and Ben had made. They had been thrust together and chosen the other without prompting.

Now - because of the malignant intent of others - Rey was being held at gunpoint. Like the cancer her lover had suffered through, their love grew fast and out of control. The surgical blade – the bullet intended for Rey’s head – to cut her out of their lives entirely.

Rey blinked, the odd thought passing through her as fear began to grip icy fingers around her heart. Bazine was going to do it. This was not some intimidation tactic. The crazy woman wanted her dead, and probably her children as well.

Not today.

“Well, that was Ben’s choice. If you love him, shouldn’t you want him to be happy, even if it’s without you?”

“Don’t you try to pull that sanctimonious bullshit on me. Love is selfish, love is not some pure, ideological standard of goodness. You stole him from me and for that, you have to die," Bazine took a menacing step closer, the gun moving from her head to her stomach.

“You think he'll ever love you after I'm gone? It's always been me, Bazine. Even in a drunken haze of self-loathing and pity, he was never really yours, was he?" Rey needled, hoping that Bazine was just far gone enough to go on a long-winded spiel about how wrong Rey was. She had done the classic villain monologue, there was a chance Bazine might play along with the entire villains' playbook.

“He _was,_ ” Bazine hissed.

Rey felt a cruel smirk sneak onto her lips, "Was he really? So, you two fucked for hours every night, right? Not just the quick fifteen minute romps of a drunken asshole who had all but given up on life?"

Bit of a gamble, but when Ben drank beforehand, his bedroom performance left much to be desired. The reddening flush to Bazine’s cheeks was either the chill or embarrassment.

“You don’t know anything,” she spat.

_Ah, embarrassed it is,_ “I thought as much. Did you know Ben’s got a bit of a pregnancy kink? Can’t keep his hands off me,” she watched horror and anger war across the harpies face. “He always wanted a large family.”

The scream that tore through Bazine's lips was the sound of nightmares. Anguish clawing at ears until they bled, and still, the sound continued. Rey froze in place, she had never been scared of Bazine before, but at this moment she was rooted to the spot – seized by terror. This was not the scream of a woman in pain, no, this was the battle cry of a woman scorned.

“You just had to get pregnant,” Bazine spat, her voice course and husky. “Not once, but twice. No matter how hard I tried, it never happened. I took my fertility shots, I poked holes in every condom,” the gun in her hands trembled, and Rey could do no more than watch and pray.

_Please, someone…_

“And you do it on _accident!_ ”

Rey tried to say something, anything, to distract Bazine from the clear agony this line of thinking had her on. Tears streamed down the woman’s face, eyes red and puffy, while snot dripped from her nose.

“You should have brought that little shit with you, but I guess I’ll just take care of him later.”

A raging, righteous fire blazed within Rey, “You stay away from my son, you crazy bitch!”

Bazine cocked her head, a crooked smile upon her lips, and wide, red puffy eyes stared back at her in triumph. “You stay away from _my_ Benny, you worthless whore.”

Everything slowed as Rey's eyes flashed to the gun. She only had a moment to shift her body before pain bloomed from her side. The force of the blow knocked her backward. Her knee hit the seat of the bench and she stumbled, falling into a pile on the cold, hard ground. Rey’s hand quaked as she pressed it into the wound before bringing her hand to her face. She blinked owlishly as she watched red drip from her pinky towards the white, snow covered ground.

Blood.

Her Blood.

_Oh god no, please no. Not like this._

“Now lay there as your baby dies, then I’ll shoot you in the head so you can join it,” Bazine cooed, but it sounded off – distant.

“But-” Rey’s lips trembled, confusion creasing her brow.

Rey began to feel heavy - like lead weights were being tied to her arms and legs - and a great pressure held her chest to the ground. Breaths came like icy daggers, a choked wheeze escaping with each exhale. She turned her head to look her murderer in the eye.

“He-he’ll n-never love...y-you,” Rey bit out, blood stark against the white crowns of her teeth.

Bazine shrugged, _“At this point, even if I can’t have him, at least you can’t either.”_ Rey could barely hear the words as the vile, vindictive, venomous snake sneered.

There was a hum, a white noise filtered over everything. Rey tried to keep her gaze focused. Someone was coming, this wasn’t how their story ended. Ben always said that _she_ was how his story ended. They were meant to be together, be a family to heal the broken pieces left within each other.

Darkness curled the edges of her vision, eyes heavy as they scanned for someone – _anyone –_ to help her.

But no one was coming.

There was no white knight on a noble steed come to save her and… Cassie! With a herculean effort, Rey's hands raised to cradle her stomach. She had failed another child.

Tears burned like acid down her cheeks, choking sobs wracked her body, and darkness began to tighten its grip upon her.

She was going to leave him.

Ben.

She wished she had never run from him. She wished she had stayed that night so many years ago and had a true fight, instead of fleeing. This whole mess could have been cleared up had they only spoken to one another. Armitage may have been better about seeing the doctor, and his cancer may have been caught sooner. Leo would have grown up with his father. And Luna…

Luna might have lived.

But Cassie…would not exist. Their life was a difficult one, but she would not trade it for the world. If this was to be her end, then she would face it with the same stubborn fire both Ben and Armitage had fallen in love with.

Flipping death a mental bird, she cried out as loud as she could into the reaches of her mind. _Not yet you bastard!_

“At l-least Ben l-loved m-me," Rey hissed out between sobs. A final truth – a deadly blow – to her murderer. To the murderer of both her daughters and her family's happiness. "Some...thing, y-you can n-never s-s-say…" a wracking cough set all her nerves on fire, as blood trickled from her lips and sprayed into a fine pink mist through the chilled air.

Her vision was too darkened now to see anything. It was all a blur, growing dimmer still. There was a thud next to her head. She tried to see what was happening, but the darkness held her within a death grip. Inky fingers obscured her sight and disrupted her hearing. A muffled voice cried out, but Rey could no more make out the words then she could stop the inevitable.

She should have told him sooner. She should have let Ben know she had always...and would forever more…

What if's and should have been's were worthless when one lay dying under a deranged stalker. Alone in a park that time had forgotten.

But she wasn’t _finished._ She can’t die here, this isn’t how her story ends, damn it. There were still things left she _had_ to do.

Rey had to get home, to Leo. She had to watch him grow up. She had to give birth to Cassie, bring her daughter into the world. She could not fail another child. Ben – her heart seized in her chest. She had to, she had to tell him -

As darkness pulled her under, a final thought lingered on the edge of consciousness before it all faded into nothingness.

_I’m so…sorry….Ben…Leo….I...I will…always…lo…v…_

…

_.._

_._

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  Don't mind me, just a cute kitty reminding you all to Check the Tags before you come for my soul.

Goes back to hiding in my bunker----->

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt  
> ["Chasing Cars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w) By: Snow Patrol


	13. How To Save A Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Multi POV! Everyone reacts to Rey's situation while Doctors try to save her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) is the ultimate Secret Keeper. I don't know HOW in the world you didn't crack. I had to hide in a bunker for a while to not spoil anything about this chapter.
> 
> Here it is, this chapter is one of my more ambitious - in addition to being one of the reasons I wrote this fic. I had pretty much this entire chapter in my head from the moment I read the prompt. *Hands everyone tissues (and if you're of legal age) and a bottle of Moscato.
> 
> Since I didn't release it last weeks because of spoilers, here's this chapter's song. ["How To Save A Life"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUqX0teEqj4) By: The Fray (Performed by: The Grey's Anatomy Cast)

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

Dopheld Mitaka had never been more terrified in all his life, the image of Rey splayed out on the ground as the crimson pool of blood continued to spread around her was seared onto his retinas. He stuttered out his response, barely above a whisper.

“I’d like to report a shooting, Endor Park. My employer's wife was shot."

“Is the shooter still there? Are you and the woman safe?”

“Her name is Rey Solo, and I’m Dopheld Mitaka. The woman who shot her is unconscious, and the gun is on the ground. There is so much blood,” an involuntary shiver wracked his body.

"I'm sending the police and an ambulance. Do you know who the shooter was, and did you see it happen?"

“No, I was getting food, she’s pregnant,” Mitaka said softly.

“Who, the shooter or Mrs. Solo?”

"Rey, Rey's pregnant, thirty-seven weeks. Oh god," he brought one hand to his forehead, rubbing it as he tried to focus on the voice on the phone.

“Sir, I need you to go over to Mrs. Solo and hold pressure over the wound to staunch the blood flow.”

“Phasma’s already doing that,” he managed to bite out around his nausea at watching the blood seep into Phasma’s clothes as she bent over Rey, both hands pressing her jacket into the wound.

“Phasma?”

“Mr. Solo’s business partner.”

If Rey died, Mitaka did not even have to worry about the rage Mr. Solo would unleash upon him. He was already planning on handing in his notice for failing Rey and Mr. Solo so utterly. The gun holstered at his side was as useless as he had been.

_Please, Rey. Please be alright._

 

* * *

 

“You stay away from my Ben, you worthless whore,” the insane bitch screamed.

Gwen froze, halfway out of her car, as she saw the standoff between the two women who loved Ben Solo. The guttural scream had her scrambling the rest of the way out of her car and racing across the park.

_No! Not Rey!_ She mentally begged as her feet pounded across the snow-dusted ground.

BANG!

Her entire body stopped, and breath left her in a rush as she watched Rey crumple to the ground. She looked like a ragdoll, falling limply to the ground after a toddler had tossed it aside in a rage.

Gwen was able to curb her anger and not cry out in shock. Inhaling deeply to center herself, anger and hatred boiled inside her with each careful step.

_Hang on Rey, just hang on._

“At this point, even if I can’t have him, at least you can’t either,” the vile woman hissed.

Phasma continued to slowly creep towards the two women. She had barely twenty feet to go, and she would be behind the insane bitch. The giant Amazon stalked her prey. She needed to eliminate Bazine as a threat before she could help Rey and call for an ambulance.

She could not hear Rey, but as she crept closer she noticed Bazine shaking with the weight of whatever Rey had uttered. Now with Bazine rattled, Phasma pressed off the ground and sprinted the last ten feet towards them. She crashed into Bazine before the woman had enough time to turn around.

With the impact of slamming into Bazine's body, and then the ground, Gwen could hear the air rush out of the woman's chest. The scraping of metal against concrete was akin to hearing a choir of angels. She swiftly shifted her body to straddle Bazine's waist, effectively pinning the now screeching banshee to the cold, hard ground.

With a raised fist, Gwen stared down at the bitch who had been impersonating her for the past few years. The legal case alone barely had much merit before, but now – with the stunt she pulled intending to kill Rey – this bitch was going to fry. As much as she wanted to make mincemeat of her face, she held off.

One forceful punch to Bazine's temple silenced the screaming as she fell unconscious. Gwen heard approaching footsteps over her panting.

“She shot my friend! Please call 9-1-1!”

“I-is Rey alright?”

Twisting her hips, Gwen saw Mitaka standing, holding a pair of handcuffs in one hand and his cell phone in the other. She reached out her hand and took the offered cuffs. Roughly shoving the woman onto her back, she cuffed the woman and sneered down at her.

“If Rey dies, not even prison will protect you from me,” Gwen shrugged out of her coat, and approached Rey.

Her heart broke, seeing her friend so pale and broken on the ground. Balling up her coat, she pressed as hard as she could to staunch the flow of blood. “Come on, Rey. You can make it through this. Hold on, help is coming.”

“I-I’ll call 9-1-1!” Mitaka squeaked.

_Please, Rey, you can't leave yet._

 

* * *

 

Don pulled the woman into the ambulance, “We’ve got her, ma’am.”

"No! I'm coming with you!" The tall Amazon screamed frantically.

A police officer grabbed onto her arm, “We need a statement from you.”

"At the hospital! I just...I don't want her to be alone! She's my friend!" Tears streamed down the woman's cheeks, "we can't lose her."

Don felt bad for the woman, and he closed his ice blue eyes. “Ma’am, you’re not family. I don’t think-”

“You let me in that ambulance, you Ostrich looking mother fucker!” she screamed as her hands dug into his red jacket.

"Alright, get in," he stepped aside and watched her scramble up into the ambulance. "Let's go, Jeff."

_I hope we can save her. This woman looks wild enough to rip my dick clean off._

 

* * *

 

Leia kept her face impassive as she packed Leo into the car seat. “Why are we going to the hospital?”

“Someone’s been hurt, and we need to be there to give them our support,” Leia explained, pulling on the straps to make sure he was secured.

“Who, Gamma?” Leo asked, eyes wide.

“Your mama,” she held up her hand when she saw the oncoming tears. “She’ll be okay. We just don’t want her to be alone.”

Leo nodded, suddenly solemn. Han was already seated in the driver's seat. "Sit back there with the kiddo, princess. I got this," he turned back to share a winning smirk. "Rey's tough, she'll pull through. Where's all that hope you preach about?"

“Oh, just shut up and drive,” Leia snapped, buckling into the seat beside her grandson.

A tiny hand gripped her own, “It’ll be okay, Gamma. Daddy and I took mama to the hospital. I’m sure she and Cassie will be okay.”

“You’re right, Leo,” Leia willed a smile to form on her lips. “When did you get so smart?”

_Please, don’t fail me now, hope._

 

* * *

 

"Rey Solo, 37 weeks pregnant. GSW to the lower abdomen," the paramedic explained as the patient was unloaded from the bus. "Heart-rate is Tachycardic."

Dr. Addison Montgomery looked up from the nurse's station. "Wait, Rey Solo?" she asked while moving towards the gurney.

“Yeah, we need to get her down to the OR stat!” the ER resident explained.

“She’s one of mine, get me Yang, Avery, Hunt, and Bailey. I’ll take her!” she barked as she shouldered the resident out of the way.

_Come on Rey, not like this. I won’t let you or Cassie go like this._

 

* * *

 

Stephanie blinked at the officers standing at her desk. "Can I help you, officers?" There was no way they were here for her. This was something else. Everything was fine.

Or so she kept telling herself.

“We need to speak with Mr. Solo right away,” the shorter of the two men began.

Stephanie breathed a short sigh of relief, “He’s in a meeting right now? If you gentlemen would not mind waiting, I can get you some coffee-”

“No!” the taller man growled. “This is urgent, we need to speak with him now!”

Stephanie recoiled, the vehemence of the other officer had her worried for the man she had admired – fancied – for the last decade. "Without a warrant, I am not going to interrupt a business merger that has taken the last year to carefully craft."

“It’s about his wife,” the shorter man tried. “There’s been an accident.”

Oh? Well, that was certainly good news. If Rey wound up dead maybe she wouldn't need Bazine to help her get into Mr. Solo's good graces. She only needed to stall long enough, and hope the gold digging bitch died before Ben could get to her.

"As I said, this meeting has taken the better part of a year to coordinate. Mr. Solo left explicit instructions not to be disturbed." No matter that he was currently out of the office for March Madness – these men were not going to let her boss know something happened to his wife. Keeping them here - perpetually waiting to see a man who was not even in the building - could only help her.

“His wife and child are dying!” the taller officer growled. “I’m sure he wasn’t planning that in his schedule.”

“As I said-”

“Excuse me,” a soft voice called out.

_No, not Sally._ Stephanie glared at Phasma’s assistant. The annoying goody to shoes just could not mind her own business. She had been up her ass for the last few months. Even that witch Mr. Solo married liked her. _Fucking, Sally, and her stupid homemade alfredo sauce._

“Mr. Solo is not in the office today. He’s attending a March Madness event with some friends. I can call my boss and have her pass along the information,” she offered, flicking her chestnut brown hair over her shoulder.

“Do you happen to have his cellphone number on hand?” The shorter man asked.

“No, but she would. I’m sure Mr. Solo would want you to call him right away,” Sally added with a sickly sweet smile, her coffee eyes sparkling. “He would move heaven and earth for his wife and children.”

Stephanie cursed the nosy assistant, and when the woman stayed rooted to the spot she knew she had to hand the number over.

She had stalled for as long as she could.

_God, why can’t that stupid bitch just die already?_

 

* * *

 

Rose glanced to her phone, balking at the fact that Phasma was calling _her._ “What the hell?” she wondered as she answered.

“Rose?”

“Has hell frozen over?”

“Rose please-”

"Oh no, let me gloat for a bit first. The Ice bitch herself calling little old me. Wow, this is a-"

"Rey's been shot, Rose!"

The words did not register at first. After bouncing around in her head for a moment her brain fired off neurons, and her phone fell to the sofa she had been lounging on watching Netflix. Scrambling off the couch, Rose picked her phone back up and brought it to her ear.

“This better not be a joke-”

“I swear to you, I need you to call Dameron or Storm. Solo isn’t answering, and I don’t even have their address. Please, call them and tell them to meet us at Mercy Hospital.”

Rose nodded her head, body moving on autopilot. "Is she?"

“Still alive, in critical condition.”

“Who-”

“Who do you think?”

_Bazine. Oh, that crazy bitch is dead. I'm going to kill her!_

Rose growled as she stalked around the apartment gathering supplies. “I’m going to blow up their phones. I’ll head there ASAP.”

"Thank you, Rose, and I'm sorry." Phasma sounded genuinely upset.

“You hold down the bitch while I ruin her pretty face - and we’ll be best friends,” Rose offered, her body and mind still numb to the news.

“Deal.”

Rose hung up the phone and immediately dialed ‘Man Slut’ - aka Poe. “You better pick up your phone!”

_Hold on Rey, we’ll be there soon._

 

* * *

 

Han sat with Leo in the waiting room, while Leia operated in full Senator Organa fashion. Wooing the nurses and sweet talking to get as much information as she could.

“Whatcha drawing there, kiddo?” Han asked as Leo was curled around some paper and crayons.

“It’s a surprise for Mama and Cassie,” Leo explained, his pink tongue poked out in concentration.

“Can I see it?” Han wondered, sliding closer and cursing his dead phone. He really needed to get with the times and keep the damn thing charged.

“Not until I show Mama and Cassie!” the stubborn chip off the old block declared, tossing him a stern look.

_Definitely gets that from her worship's side of the family._

His wife strode towards the two Solo men with purpose. “What did they say after kissing your ass?”

She surprised him by wrapping him in a hug instead of biting his head off for his ‘inappropriate humor'. "Rey's in surgery. The fetal surgeon is with her right now. She's in good hands, but it's serious, Han. They aren't sure if they can save them both. They are doing everything they can," Leia whispered.

_Ah, no wonder she’s shaking._ “They’ll both pull through, I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Leia bit her lip, pulling out of his arms.

“If anyone has enough hope to get Rey through this, princess, it’s you.”

_You can't leave him, Rey. A boy without his mother is just wrong._

 

* * *

 

Poe stared at his phone for a few minutes, slumped into the plush chair in Snap’s living room. He came to with Finn shaking him.

“Love, what is it?”

“R-Rey,” he barely managed to whisper.

"What? Is Peanut in labor?" Finn cheered with a large ear-splitting grin.

Poe shook his head. “No, she’s...” he trailed off.

“She’s what, Dameron?” Ben growled, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

His stomach felt like it had sunk into the basement where the others were gathered to watch the basketball games.

“Solo, she’s...god, how can I-”

Ben’s phone ringing cut them off. “Hello?”

_Why her? Why Rey? This can’t be happening._

 

* * *

 

In the fifties style diner, a short, older woman sat in her cluttered office clutching her chest. Something was wrong. Maz Kanata was a believer in the supernatural. She truly believed she had been gifted the sight. So when a dark wave of wrongness had hit her nearly an hour ago, she excused herself to her office.

Rey. Something was wrong with Rey. With all the power she held in her small body, Maz willed a happy outcome into being. The universe would not deny her this.

_The belonging you seek is not behind nor ahead, sweet Rey. No, it is all around you now. Be safe, young one. Be safe and happy. Solo - you better get to your wife and be there for her._

 

* * *

 

Dr. Yang was trying to perform the percutaneous repair of her patient’s heart, she _could_ do this. “It’s going in easy. Get the T.E.E. ready.” She kept sliding the camera up through the groin. Slow, easy movements. Steady hands. She had this.

The head of Trauma let out a harried sigh. “Still got active bleeding coming from somewhere.”

“Well, then let’s recheck the retroperitoneum,” the general surgeon instructed. Her hands slid around, searching for the elusive tear.

“Suction!” Someone called out.

_Yes,_ Dr. Yang thought. “I’ve got access,” she declared, breathing a sigh of relief. Step one complete.

“Give me more suction,” Dr. Bailey ordered.

“Clamp, and give me a tie!” Dr. Hunt added.

“Balloon is advanced. Extra stiff guide-wire, please,” Dr. Yang asked, steeling herself for the next step in the process.

 

* * *

 

Alistair Snoke slammed his fists onto his desk. _The stupid little harlot actually went and did it._

While normally he would be impressed, and possibly aroused at the thought of his apprentice taking a life to take what she wanted, this – killing Rey Solo – was not in the plan as of yet. Threatening her life sure, but to kill her now jeopardized everything.

Ben Solo would be in no fit state to turn over his company. No, to lose his wife and unborn child now would send the unstable man he had known into a blood rage. He would piece things together and come after Snoke with all that he had. Ben Solo would hunt him to the ends of the earth.

There was nothing more dangerous than a man who had lost the woman he loves, and not one - but two - of his children. He would know.

“That stupid _bitch!_ ” Alistair sneered up to one of his loyal bodyguards. “I want her dead. Before she can open her mouth and spill anything to save her own hide.”

Pity, with her being an attempted murderess Bazine Netal had grown rather attractive to his eyes. _She should have listened. I can only hope the young Solo’s wife pulls through. Hopefully, I can just pin all this insanity on her. No one knows of our connection._

 

* * *

 

Finn walked away from the group clustered together in the private waiting room Senator Organa had managed to get them all into. He needed something to munch on.

Specifically, some peanuts.

Making his way to the vending machine, he watched as the normally mousy Solo driver continued to pound on said vending machine he had been searching for. Finn cleared his throat.

“What? I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered, jumping back and curling into himself.

“You alright, mate?” Finn clasped his shoulder.

He shook his head, “I should have stayed with her. If I was there, none of this would have happened.”

“Hey, hey listen to me,” Finn soothed, already having heard the story straight from Phasma’s lips as she gave her statement to the cops earlier. “If you had been there, who knows if that crazy stalker wouldn’t have just killed you both on the spot.”

“But I killed-”

Finn’s grip tightened as he shook the man. “No! My Peanut isn’t dead yet. She’s going to live a long, healthy, and happy life. You helped save her. So come on back to the room.”

If possible, the mousy man became even paler. "No, I couldn't p-possibly. Mr. Solo won't want me around. I failed them."

Finn led the man to the vending machine. “I’m going to get some peanuts, then you and I are going back in there. ‘Mr. Solo’,” Finn accentuated this with one-handed air quotes, "can go fuck himself if he tries to run you off. As far as I'm concerned, you saved my friend's life. I've known her longer than anyone here. They can all shove it."

After a tense few minutes, the man finally relaxed. "O-okay."

“What’s your name, buddy?” He asked while swiping his credit card through the reader. It was nice not to have to attempt to shove crinkled bills into the machine. The one at his work didn’t even have a card reader on it. _This must be a fancy hospital then._

“Dopheld. Dopheld Mitaka.” He held out his hand.

“Okay, Mitaka, you like peanuts?” Finn bent down and picked up the two packets of peanuts that had dropped down. _What a lucky break._

After a beat, his eyes widened and he nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes of course."

“Good, peanuts are good juju, you know.” Finn smiled and offered the still somewhat shaken looking man the other package. _So, you have to pull through this Rey. The Juju demands it._

 

* * *

 

Dr. Miranda Bailey had heard about the girl Addison Montgomery had been treating. The poor girl had lost her first child. Now, here she was on her table, possibly about to lose her second. Miranda had to save Rey Solo. Addison was there to save baby Cassie.

"Okay, the Occluder is in. Turn on the Doppler." Yang ordered, as both she and Dr. Avery looked to the monitor.

Miranda closed her eyes for a moment and prayed. _Please god, don’t take this one._

“Minimal Residual V.S.D flow,” he commented.

_That was good. It’s repaired. Now we can focus on this bleeding._ Her hands moved with purpose and ease. _Thank you._

“Bailey, got a Lumbar vein avulsed in the vena cava. Two allis clamps,” Dr. Hunt called out, holding out his hand to the scrub nurse.

They were doing this, they could save her. Just as a sigh of relief was exiting her chest, a monitor began beeping wildly. _No no no._ Voices called out readings one after another. A chorus of chaos.

“Idioventricular rhythm.”

“Pressure’s down. 55 Systolic.”

“Damn it! She’s bradying down.”

“Push one of atropine,” Hunt bellowed.

“C.V.P and pulmonary artery pressures just shot up!”

“We’re losing her, starting cardiac massage,” Avery declared, hand moving to manually pump the patient’s - Rey’s - heart.

Miranda took a breath. "Push one of Epi, and find whatever the hell is bleeding and shut it down."

_Please, I’m begging you. Don’t take her, or her child._

 

* * *

 

_Ugh, my head is pounding,_ Bazine thought, trying to sit up. The soft clinking of metal felt like little jackhammers pounding in her head. _What the?_

As she looked down, she realized her hands were cuffed behind her back, and she was laying on a dank bench inside a cell. “Help! Someone help!” she screamed, suddenly terrified. “I’ve been kidnapped.”

As she continued to scream, she tried to remember what happened. She had heard someone running towards her, being slammed to the ground and hitting her head. Then she turned and-

_Phasma! That bitch! She hit me!_

Bazine snarled, was she in that Amazon witch’s basement? It would make sense - she was into some twisted crap. “Help! Please!”

Finally, someone walked over to her. A tall, older man in a blue uniform. He looked to be about eighty years old. A savior was a savior, though. "Oh thank god! Please, you have to get me out of here. I can't believe you found me already!"

"Uh, Ma'am, now that you are conscious, I'm going to have to read you your rights."

Bazine frowned, her head still pounding. "I know my rights. I need an aspirin. I want to file charges against one Gwendoline Phasma for assaulting me."

“Sure thing, ma’am,” the officer smirked. “After I mirandize you.”

Bazine blinked, “Wait? What?”

"Ma'am, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford one-"

“I can afford an attorney! Call my uncle Snoke, he’ll send him down right now!” Bazine ordered, fury rising in her chest.

The officer's eyes flashed. "Oh, your uncle is Alistair Snoke? Well, I'm so sorry about this, then."

Joy spread throughout her body. Everything was just fine. This man must be on her Uncle’s payroll. She noticed the man’s name plate. “Yes, thank you, Officer Robertson.”

“Special Agent Daniel Jones will be wanting to speak with her once I’ve finished reading her, her rights,” the officer turned and called out. “Now, where were we? Oh yes, if you can’t afford one, one will be appointed to you.”

_No no no no no! This was not how things were supposed to go! I don’t know if that evil witch is even dead! Why won’t she just die?_

 

* * *

 

Luke held his lover’s hand, keeping watch over Ben as he paced back and forth. His eyes were wild and dangerous. Rey fighting for her life was the only thing keeping him from going after his ex. All the therapy in the world could not contain that level of rage and fear.

Darkness was seductive, and his nephew was deep within its throes.

If only he had kept Rey in England, none of this would be happening. He should have objected to this, but instead he believed in the smarmy ginger’s dying wish - to see Rey and Ben actually happy.

It was a good dream, if not a foolish one.

“She’ll pull through,” Mara whispered, squeezing his hand. “Then Ben will be alright.”

Luke prayed she was right. “You don’t know how the men in our family have historically dealt with losing their loved ones.”

Mara tutted at his side. “While Ben admires his grandfather, he is not _him_. You need to stop worrying he’ll become that man.”

_I hope you’re right. Don’t leave us Rey, it will bring ruin to our family._

 

* * *

 

Dr. Montgomery watched with baited breath as Rey continued to crash. Everyone around her was focused on the mother, but she had made a promise to Rey. She _would_ save that baby. Cassie would survive this.

“You have one minute. If you can’t bring her back, I’m delivering the baby!” she barked as she stood up, keeping an eye on the fetal monitor.

“Come on, come on!” Dr. Avery called, while continuing to massage the heart. The monitor still continued to go off, random blips of the flatline perfectly timed with each beat of his hands.

As the seconds ticked down, Addison turned to the scrub nurse. “Ten blade,” she declared, her eyes locking with Dr. Bailey’s.

“But-”

“Twenty seconds,” she warned, continuing her mental count. _Come on Rey, don’t make me do this._ She pleaded. _Five, four…_ she placed the scalpel over the incision site and continued to count as someone doused it in iodine.

_One. Here goes everything._ "I'm delivering now! Get that incubator ready, Dr. Karev!"

With swift, practiced motions, everything fell away as Addison focused on the task at hand. Pulling the baby girl from her mother, trying not to think about – or even hear – the continued flatline of the monitor.

_Shit! She isn’t breathing! Not you too, Cassie! Come on!_ “Her color’s bad. Stimulate and suction, and get some access, Karev,” she declared, handing off the baby to quickly cauterize and close from the Caesarean.

Rey did not need to lose any more blood than necessary. They could still save her. She had only been down for five minutes, and Avery was keeping her blood flowing.

“If that baby dies while I’m closing, it’ll be your hide, Karev!”

 

* * *

 

Hux floated over the surgeons, watching over Rey and his daughter. Luna was curled up in his arms, her own thrown around his neck. She was every bit a miniature Rey, adorable and perfect. At this moment, she had her brown curls buried into his neck, and she continued to sob.

“Shhh, your mama will be just fine, baby girl,” he soothed, willing his fierce Rey to fight through this.

“I’m scared, I don’t want them to join us yet,” she continued to sob, wet tears staining his neck.

He wrapped the soft wings on his back around her, a warm, soft comfort as he flew down and caressed Rey’s cheek with his hand. “You can’t quit on me now, Rey. Where’s the woman who would take no one’s garbage that I fell in love with?”

Hux’s eyes flicked to the monitor as a beep returned. Soft - and only the one. But he saw it. Rey was there. “That’s it! Go back to them, it isn’t time yet. You have to look after our daughter. I don’t want Solo raising her alone.”

He cast his gaze to where the doctors were attempting to get a heartbeat from his precious daughter – his last gift to Rey. “He’ll just mess her up. She needs her mother. We’re fine, so pull on your big girl panties and _**fight**_!”

The beep sounded again, and after a few beats, again. He turned to his daughter, his hand reached out as he floated over and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Rey’s coming back! We’ve got her back,” one of the female doctors cried.

“Systolic 70 and rising,” the pride in the man’s voice was earned.

He could only do so much. The doctors had Rey. Now to bring back his daughter. “Luna,” he called, coaxing her from her hiding spot. “Go give your sister some encouragement.”

The little girl pulled herself from him, and floated on her own wings down to where the little baby was purple and coated in blood. She pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and whispered. “My big brother needs another sister. Don’t leave him like I did. I believe in you, Cassiopeia Armata Solo.”

Hux beamed with pride, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

The Doctor with the red hair and the stars scrub cap shoved the other doctor out of the way. “Move! Start compressions and suction through the tube,” she ordered.

_Everyone is here with you Rey. You're not alone anymore, so you and Cassie both have to get through this. So many people are waiting to meet you, little angel._

_I thought **I** was your little angel!_

_All my girls are my angels._

_They’ll be okay, right Armie?_

_Yes. I think so._

 

* * *

 

Leo wondered why all the grown-ups were here. Maybe with Mama being hurt the doctors decided to bring Cassie out sooner. That would be amazing!

Though the adults didn’t look happy. They were trying to smile, but he could tell. They were scared.

He had been scared, too, until Uncle Hux and Luna had shown up to tell him they would make sure his Mama and Cassie would be alright. They were angels now, so of course, he could believe them. He wanted to tell the grown-ups to stop worrying, but when Gamma, and Ganpa, didn't see them at all, he decided to just draw them instead.

Mama would be sad if she didn’t get to see his baby sister and Uncle Hux. So, he covered his drawing and continued to color.

Uncle Poe had snuck him some gummy worms while his Daddy paced back and forth. He would cuddle up with him after he finished his drawing.

_I can’t wait to meet baby Cassie! Feel better soon, Mama._

 

* * *

 

Luna did not quite understand what the doctor's words meant. Heaven had imbued her with a lot of wisdom, but Latin was hard. Still, she listened and watched now that Armie seemed to think everything was going to be alright.

It was not _precisely_ against the rules to be here, and to push a little angelic grace into the living. But this was her mother and baby sister. Besides, Gabriel was wrapped around her finger, he wouldn’t tell on her - or let her get into any trouble with the other archangels.

The red haired lady ordered some medical gibberish. Luna did not follow it, but the intent and purpose in the woman’s tone gave her hope. She watched the woman's deft hands work, tiny pulses keeping Cassie's heart beating while she tried to get it to work on its own with the medicine.

Then the words came. "I have a heartbeat!" the woman sounded near tears with joy.

_Welcome back, Cassie. You did it!_

The annoying beep of the monitors returned to a heartbeat, no longer flat-lining. “Mom’s gaining strength. I think she might pull through,” the short, angry woman declared with a proud smile and a sigh of relief.

_I'm so happy, Mama. I'll see you one day, but for now, you need to watch over the rest of our family. They would be lost without you. Armie and I are okay. I love you, Mama._

 

* * *

 

Ben was numb to the core. He could feel nothing, aside from the gaping wound in his heart. For the last several hours he had been mentally berating himself for not ignoring Rey’s wishes for independence, and just hiring her a damn bodyguard. He had ignored that warning in his gut, and now Rey was paying the price for his mistakes once again.

Cassie was fine now. A bit of trouble with the delivery, but they were confident she would pull through. They had her under observation, his mother and Han were watching over her. His mother had to pull some strings, but she and Dr. Addison Montgomery went way back. So, while they kept watch over Cassie he now sat with Rey in the ICU.

She was breathing on her own, and for that Ben was thankful.

But for all his joy at the fact that Rey was still alive, he was filled with regret – and self-loathing. No matter what he did, he always caused her anguish. Nothing he had ever done had gone right in his life, why should his actions – his love – towards Rey be any different?

He would always be found wanting when someone looked upon him. He was not worth the trouble that followed him. Yet still, Rey continued to stay by his side. Whether she would continue once the year was complete, he had no idea. Should she even bother staying around?

Ben knew he was a selfish man. He could no more walk away than he could stop loving the beautiful woman who lay broken before him in the hospital bed – still the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes upon. He would not walk away from her – could not bring himself to do Rey this kindness. If she wanted to leave, the least he could do was let her go.

But he was a selfish man – he did not want her far from his side.

He needed her like air – like sunlight.

Ben had spent the better part of the last twelve hours in the hospital, desperately trying to keep himself together. He could not have a breakdown while Leo was there, intently coloring and blissfully unaware of the real danger his mother and sister were in. At least, he hoped his son had not picked up on the true horror going on.

The moment he received the call from the officers, his entire world was shattered in a single moment. To hear the words, ‘your wife has been shot’ was like a kidney punch - it had bowled him over. Then, learning she was still alive and fighting for her life had set him into motion.

His mother had wrapped him into an embrace the moment he saw her. Tears soaked into his chest where he held her. His own refused to fall - if he let one escape, his hope would die right beside it. He steeled himself, but had to get the frustration, the nervous energy - the panic - under control.

So he paced.

He paced when Phasma recounted the event as she knew it. A part of him wished his friend had shot the bitch herself. At least Bazine would live the rest of her days without the one thing she apparently wanted - so long as Rey and his daughter also both survived.

He paced while officers questioned him about Bazine, and the history there. His fists shook when the female officer sent him a withering glare, and asked why he had not filed a restraining order officially. His tone was clipped when he explained the temporary one issued the day Bazine confronted Rey was still in effect.

This was not Officer Connix’s fault, her reminded himself. Though he wanted to wipe that condescending glare off her face, he continued to pace. He knew who was to blame.

This was all _his_ fault.

That revelation had been haunting him for hours. Moonlight streamed into the room through the blinds, giving Rey the same ethereal glow she had in the painting he had commissioned. Ben left himself shrouded in the darkness between the beams of light, and watched over the pure creature clinging to life.

The doctors said Rey would probably make it, she just needed to wake up. So, he sat in the chair while the sun dipped under the horizon, and well into the night.

Watching.

Waiting.

Praying.

“Please, Rey,” he begged with a whisper so fragile and full - if spoken too loud his pleas might burst in his face like a bubble that had grown too weak to hold its form.

He moved his leaden limbs to kneel before her. Taking her hand in his own – a gentle touch, as if she might shatter into a million tiny shards to shred him to pieces – he spoke his promises. The miniscule hope that they might reach her, and guide her from the darkness as she had done for him so many times, he held onto that hope like a lifeline.

“Rey, my Sunshine, my love, my soulmate,” tears streamed down his cheeks, and a lump choked his words. “I can never make up for the pain you have suffered. I have _never_ been worthy of you - but like the selfish prick you've dubbed me – I can not stay away. You chose to stay by my side when everyone warned you I wasn't a good man. I heard them and agreed. Still, I wanted to be a better man for you.

"A better man would let you be happy, but even when I tried, somehow pain and anguish still found their way to you. I tried to be a better father for Leo, and at least in that, I have yet to fail. But without you, I don't know if I can do that for both him and Cassie. She is beautiful, Rey. She has your hair, your freckles, your lips. She wound up with Hux's nose, but at least it isn't mine," he tried to smile despite the pain – a watery grimace for his efforts was all he could manage.

Ben bowed his head, pressing his forehead to the cold and clammy dainty palm in his much larger one. "I swear to you, if you just wake up I'll do whatever you want. I'll protect you right this time. I won't let anyone hurt you, not even me. Just please, please come back to us, Rey. If not for me, then for Leo and Cassie. They need you.

“ _I_ need you. Even if you don’t love me. Even if you wake up and finally see I am no good for you – that you don’t actually love me. I can take that pain. I just,” a sob bubbled up from his throat and burst out through his lips. “I can’t live in a world without you.”

Tears of shame streamed down his cheeks, each one begging for forgiveness – a plea to bring her back one more time. "You and our family are _everything_ to me, Rey. I was a fool for so long. I'm leaving the company. I've been training my replacement since the moment you said you would come back to me. My entire focus will be on my perfect wife and our amazing family. So come back.”

“Please. Please, come back, Rey! This time it will be different. This time it will be _right._ I swear it to you on Luna, Leo, and Cassie. I love you Rey, and I’ll never leave you again. Just please...”

_Come back to me._

He was so numb, yet so filled with agonizing pain he nearly missed it. The soft flutter of her hand against his own. Hope filled him as he tore his head away from where it was bowed to look upon her freckled face.

_Rey, my Sunshine, my love. Please..._

 

* * *

 

She felt light as a feather, and as heavy as a boulder all at once. Her head was fuzzy, and her entire body tingled. Her hand was warm, clasped in a large meaty palm – tapered fingers wrapped around her wrist.

She spent several long minutes listening to the broken words – the pleading sobs – of the man holding her hand. The baritone was familiar to her. She knew that voice and the man who used it. Sifting through memories was like holding onto sand – spilling from between her fingers as they rushed by.

Bazine.

Cassie.

Leo.

Ben.

He continued to speak, and it took all of Rey’s strength to grip her fingers around his own. His head shot up, eyes filled with wonder and cheeks stained with tears. She tried to form words, but her mouth was not cooperating. She frowned as he leaned closer, wrapping his arms around her with a shout.

"Rey! Oh, my Rey! Thank god you're alright!” His sobs were renewed.

Rey might have bitten his head off for squeezing her so damn hard, but again words were not quite forming yet. It hurt, but she would rather feel pain than being left adrift in nothingness. There was something, something she saw while she was adrift, but the memory escaped her.

Probably the drugs.

Ben seemed to notice her discomfort and pulled back. She could grunt at least. “Rey?” Worry streaked across his brow, the joy that was in his eyes fleeing in the face of his concern. “Please...god no...please, say something.”

_I’m trying, you giant man baby!_ She thought with a mental growl.

The darkness in the room began to fade, as a new day was just barely beginning to rise. The light slowly inching across the scratchy hospital bed sheet, taunting her to hurry up and just say the words - fulfill her promise.

“I...”

Why were words so hard? Why did they hold so much weight that she could hardly form them? She knew them by heart. Her heart was the expert on these words, the feelings they were tied to. Yet her brain could not make her lips form them. She knew once the words were said, there was no taking them back. They would be etched into his soul as much as her own.

Well, she was tired of hesitating. That had gotten them into this whole mess in the first place.

She was tired of being afraid of being alone. Once she spoke them, she never would be again.

She was completely fed up with Ben Solo, and his puppy eyes every time he said the words, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Then he had the gall to be butthurt because she was not ready to say them back.

She was finally ready.

Screw the risks. She loved him, and she made a promise, damn it.

“I...love you, too. Ben,” her words left her just as the fiery, golden light of the sunrise reached his haggard face.

Finally, they were out into the world. She watched the joy spring back to life within his eyes. The ear-splitting grin that struck a permanent place across his lips made her own ache a bit. His hand – the one still clasped around her own – shook as it tightened its grip.

Then he seemed to freeze. Rey was worried for about three seconds before he slumped forward and fell limp on top of her.

“Really, Solo?” Rey hissed, hitting the call button as the love of her life was half slumped against her. _And now you’re snoring, great. Way to ruin the moment. Typical Ben Solo, ruining a perfectly romantic moment._

As Rey ran her finger through Ben’s hair, thankful he had landed on her uninjured side, a large grin spilled across her lips. _At least I was able to say it back. I kept my promise, Armitage. I let him in, and let myself love him. Take good care of Luna._

Rey thought she saw a few silvery feathers by her head, but she was still pinned by Ben and unable to turn to check.

_That had to have been the drugs,_ Rey thought as she carded her fingers through her husband’s – who was now drooling on her through the itchy hospital blanket – annoyingly perfect silky hair. _And, now he’s drooling on me._

“You’re lucky I love you, Ben. Otherwise, I would have shoved your heavy ass to the floor. Better ask the nurse to take a picture before they get you off of me. I’m sure your mother and father would _love_ to add that to the family album,” she remarked to the unconscious man who had always held her heart.

_Well, I’m back, for good this time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! I promised HEA. I can now safely say this was the last of the angst. Only fluff and possibly smut ahead. I've got a bit more adorableness planned, and I hope you all stick around for it. 
> 
> Also just to note, if you watch this chapter's Music Video you can see I did take all the medical jargon from the Grey's Anatomy Episode. No I am not that clever, nor do I really have any idea what it means. So credit to the writers of Grey's Anatomy (Especially the Musical Episode in season Seven for inspiring this chapter, and partly the fic as a whole) for all of the doctor's dialogue in those scenes as well as the characters. 
> 
> To Sally: Hope you're okay with me adding you in to this. Happy B-Day! <3
> 
> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt  
> ["Chasing Cars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w) By: Snow Patrol  
> ["How To Save A Life"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUqX0teEqj4) By: The Fray (Performed by: The Grey's Anatomy Cast)  
> ["The Story"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcg6cLauF3w) By: Sara Ramirez
> 
> ALSO: There are a few Easter Eggs this chapter to characters both part of the MFU in a larger scale as well as other Characters involved in certain films...Wonder if anyone will spot them (Added this 12:40 am EST on 6/22)


	14. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey recovers and deals with Ben's overprotective nature. An answer to a long standing question is given, another question is asked, and a story begins it's ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) has done an amazing job with this chapter once again. Only one more chapter and the epilogue the ride will finally be over. I'm not crying, you're crying. Okay, maybe I'm crying a bit.

“Mama!” Leo cried, rushing towards her with Leia and Han standing just outside the door.

Ben startled awake, "I've got the cookies!" he declared, as he snorted and blinked rapidly at his son racing across the room. "L-Leo stop! Your mother's hurt. Be gentle."

Leo stilled at his father's warning, his eyes blinking up at Rey, his bottom lip trembling. "But, I missed Mama. I want to give her hugs and kisses to make her better," he explained, turning to his father and looking properly chastened.

“Of course you can sweetie. Leia, Han, would you mind making sure my husband eats so he doesn’t faint _on top of me_ again,” she asked with a pointed stare towards her now red-faced husband.

“Kid might need a shower, too, by the smell of it,” Han teased, coming into the room and gripping Ben by his arm.

“Would you stop? I’m not a child-”

“Then you march your behind to your car, drive home, eat some food, take a hot shower and get yourself a change of clothes,” Leia ordered.

Ben wilted under his mother’s stare and stomped out of the room with Han. “I’ll be back soon,” he promised, calling back to them over his shoulder.

“Not too soon,” Rey whispered under her breath as Leia followed after them. Rey turned to her son and opened her arms wide.

Leo climbed into the bed and snuggled into his mother’s side. He held up a piece of paper and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I made you a present, Mama!”

Rey studied the drawing. For nearly five years old, her son had surpassed her artistic capabilities already. A crude drawing of what looked like Hux – if the ginger hair was any indication – and a small girl – Luna probably, considering her age and resemblance to how Leo often drew himself. They were dressed in white gowns and had white protrusions coming from their back. Wings perhaps?

The ginger-haired angel was holding Rey - who was holding a pink blob. Rey assumed that was supposed to be baby Cassie in a blanket. The Luna angel was just off to the side of Rey resting her head in her lap.

“What’s this?” Rey asked, trying to keep the tears at bay as she stared, mesmerized by the beautiful drawing.

“That’s Uncle Hux and Luna. They came to help you and Cassie!” Leo explained, pointing to each of them. He turned with a toothy grin towards her, proud of his drawing.

He had every right to be.

"Oh, they did?" Rey beamed at her son. "That was really sweet of them. I love it, Leo, it’s perfect. Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m sure I’ll get better faster now.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.”

“I’m glad. Luna said she misses us, but she wants us to be happy here before joining her,” Leo explained.

“Did she now?”

“Mhmmm. She also said that you and Daddy need to stop being so silly. You do love Daddy, don’t you?” Leo asked, snuggling into her arms and blinking up at her with his wide and innocent chocolate doe eyes.

“I do. And he knows that. And I love you too, and baby Cassie,” Rey explained.

A part of her wondered just what sort of fantasies her son came up with while she was laying on that operating table. It was comforting to know he thought of Armitage and Luna when things became rough, and that the thought of them gave him strength and encouragement. That was a blessing.

At least he was not scarred by the experience. No, in fact, he was more talkative than ever. He went on and on about how perfect his baby sister was, how stupid the doctors were for not letting him hold her yet, or even take her home to show her all their toys.

Leo was just fine. Thank god for small favors – or perhaps thank Luna and Armitage.

Something was nagging at her, though. Something that she could not quite remember - white and sparkling - a comforting familiarity in the half memory.

She was more than happy to sit with her son and just listen to him tell her all his plans for when Cassie was able to come home.

 

* * *

 

Three days of being stuck in the hospital, and Rey was sick of staring at the white walls. There was nothing of interest on the TV. She still had episodes of Lucifer to watch when she returned home. Nothing on current television held her interest.

Ben had barely left – except when his mother ordered him to. This was one of those times.

All her friends had greeted her shortly after her return to consciousness. A constant stream of them came in pairs. Finn and Poe had been her first visitors. Finn loudly declaring that, as her oldest friend, he had first dibs. Poe had joked about Ben being passed out in the chair after fainting. Finn had just cried over her and called her his ‘Lucky Peanut'.

Rose and Leo – who wanted to stick with his favorite Auntie – were the next to visit. Leo was going on and on about how pretty his baby sister was. Though he had one concern - she looked like a potato. Rey had to assure him she would grow up and look more like a human. Rose kept hold of her hand the entire time she was there visiting.

Phasma and Mitaka both came, begging for forgiveness, while Rey tried – in vain – to get them both to see that they had saved her life. There was no need for forgiveness. No, Rey would not allow Mitaka to quit. Yes, she expected Phasma to make good on her promise to take care of the business so Ben could focus on his family. Phasma was his work wife, but right now his actual wife and new baby needed a bit of TLC.

She did wish she could have seen Phasma tackle and hand Bazine her ass. Mitaka had flushed red and left the room when Rey pressed him about the handcuffs. Phasma assured Rey she would get to the bottom of that mystery for her.

She was still waiting.

Leia had rushed to her side, while Han hung back chuckling to himself over Ben’s state – still unconscious. Leia told Rey about how she had called Phasma about five minutes after Rey had left, having found some interesting information in her father’s files on the man. Rey had nearly lost her composure. If not for Leia’s hunch, the real Phasma might not have known someone had lured Rey out.

Rey thanked whatever force had insisted she drop Leo off with Leia – and had the foresight to tell her everything.

When Ben had finally awakened, he just kept silent watch over her, hovering and handing her ice chips. It was cute, if not a bit annoying. She could eat the damn ice chips herself! But she did just suffer a bullet wound, so she would allow him this comfort.

Now as she stared at the stark white walls, she wished her husband was here to annoy her with a cup of ice chips shoved under her nose.

 

* * *

 

A month had passed, and she could still feel a twinge in her lower abdomen where the bullet had pierced her. There were still nights she woke up in a cold sweat and would repeatedly run her hand over the healing flesh. More often than not she would sneak out of bed and stare at the wound in the mirror for almost an hour – just to remind herself that she had survived. Between her husband and her son, Rey was still barely allowed to move about the house alone.

“If you follow me into the bathroom, young man, you’re grounded!” Rey groused as she tried to push the stubborn mini Ben Solo – who had plastered himself to her side – away. It was just pure evil on Ben’s part to use Leo against her. Even if it was for a good cause, she could heal just fine on her own. She was not going to die on the toilet taking a piss. Honestly.

“But Mama!”

“No buts! Unless you want to find yourself sitting on yours in the naughty corner!” Rey tried to keep her voice calm, really, she did. She just wanted to empty her bladder alone and in peace. The bathroom had been her _only_ privacy the last month. She would not lose that little space of sanity now.

“Daddy said I’m not supposed to leave you alone. He’ll be back from the store soon, can’t you hold it?” Leo fixed her with a glare she had often seen his father give her.

Where Ben’s glare set fire to her body, Leo’s sent her into exasperation. “You’re grounded.” Leo seemed unperturbed, which was odd. “And you’ve now earned five minutes in the naughty corner.”

Leo only shrugged. “Daddy says I don’t have to listen to your punishments until the doctors say you are all better.”

Rey glared at the door and hoped the look would find Ben Solo and warn him hell was waiting for him when he returned home. "Did he now?"

“Yup! So I’m coming with you,” Leo cheered, throwing his hands into the air.

Rey saw this as her chance and bolted towards the bathroom. Leo squeaked in protest and tried to follow her. Unfortunately, he was still five years old, and his tiny little legs were no match for her. Closing the inch of wood – and safety – between her and her son, Rey sank down onto the floor.

Despite his pounding on the door and calling out to her over and over, Rey felt peace wash over her. She stared at the little soap bowl shaped like a kitten. “Just you and me, buddy. Think I can wait it out in here until my overbearing husband comes back?”

The monitor in her hand went off, indicating little Cassie had woken from her nap.

_Five minutes, just five damn minutes._

 

* * *

 

“ _I’ll_ get her. Just lay back and relax,” Ben requested, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Rey had a clean bill of health, and _still_ Ben hovered. Leo had at least become neutral. His focus was now on Cassie, which was both adorable and a godsend. He did not care who it was, but if Cassie cried one of them was expected to immediately drop everything and take care of her – with a protective Leo frowning as he watched them.

Usually, it fell to Ben. Rey had been shot recently, after all. Not that he complained – unless they were attempting to be intimate - which happened each and every time they tried without fail.

Rey missed Mara and Luke, both of them would have been helpful to have around. They were now gone on a year-long backpacking trip across Europe. Luke had offered to find the old contract null and void because of Ben’s failures, but Rey had waved him off. She did allow her uncle in law to chew Ben out – if only to watch her overprotective husband squirm.

She was here for the long haul – overbearing, overprotective, anal Ben Solo – and all.

Leia and Han were over almost every other night. The others saw Poe, Finn, and Rose over for a short visit. There was no shortage of people in the Solo household. So, during the few rare opportunities between visits, Rey had been waiting for the chance to actually _show_ Ben that she was all in.

If Cassie was not the one doing the cock-blocking, then Ben himself would.

Which would be really quite sweet, if she were not _desperate_ to be able to do _something_ other than feed Cassie and have everyone fuss over both of them.

“Ben, I can do it-”

“I know. I just want to be there for her,” he whispered.

Rey did not need psychic powers to know Ben still felt guilty for what happened to their first daughter, as well as missing out on Leo’s formative years. It had only been two months, but Ben looked like a complete wreck. His hair was no longer fluffed and styled – unless you counted bed head a style – and his clothes were stained with spit up or other bodily fluids, and his eyes screamed for the sweet relief of sleep.

He was still trying to do everything on his own.

Rey gave him another month - tops - before he caved and stopped trying to be a super dad. Leia only gave him two weeks.

Rey hoped to be proven wrong.

 

* * *

 

“You’re sure this is alright for her?” Ben worried his bottom lip as he held the baby carrier and continued to flick his eyes around.

"For the last time, she'll be fine! Honestly, Ben, she's already twenty-one weeks. She can handle being outside for a few hours,” Rey admonished, carrying their picnic basket. “Are _you_ sure you don’t want me to carry the blanket?”

“I know, I know. I’ve got it,” Ben assured, flashing a smile while shaking the rolled up flannel blanket tucked under his arm.

Rey placed her hand on his bicep and gave a squeeze. “Will you stop worrying? Just for today?”

Ben heaved a sigh and nodded. "Just for today."

"Thank you," Rey stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

“Yuck!” Leo exclaimed, making gagging noises beside her, careful not to damage the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

Rey turned to her son and bent down. “Oh really? You want to say that when I kiss your cheek?”

“No! I’m a big boy now! No more kisses!” Leo screamed, running further into the cemetery.

“Leo, you stay where your mother and I can see you!” Ben bellowed after him, looking like he wanted to chase him down, but instead looking to the sleeping baby in her carrier, flashing Rey pained looks.

“Oh no, I’m not chasing him down. I’m some fragile thing that can’t lift a finger at home. _You_ do it, Super Dad," Rey taunted, a smirk pulling at her lips.

Ben frowned and walked forward at a brisk pace. “Been waiting a while to use that one?”

“You have _no_ idea,” Rey smugly remarked, following after him.

After eating the egg salad sandwiches Leo had requested, Rey picked Cassie up from her car seat and held her to her breast. "This was a lovely idea, Leo."

The small boy beamed, “I think Luna loved her birthday present!” He pointed proudly at the bouquet of roses he had picked out for his sister.

A part of Rey ached – and probably forever would – but for the most part, she felt truly at peace. Sitting on a blanket eating food with her family – all of her family – under the shade of the giant angel statue Ben had purchased as a headstone for Luna. ‘ _To watch over her until we can be with her again._ ’

“I think so too, buddy,” Ben agreed, wrapping his son into a hug, who immediately tried to wrestle out of the hold.

Rey watched the two play as she fed her miracle baby. Little Cassie was beginning to look less like a potato and more like her every day. Sans the nose, and her ice blue eyes. As she lifted the now full infant to her shoulder to burp her, she began to hum a song to both her little girls.

Leo eventually settled and began devouring the peach cobbler Rey had brought along for dessert. Ben knelt beside her and held out his arms. Rey gently passed over their daughter – Ben’s name was on the birth certificate as the father – so he could lay the sleeping babe back into her car seat.

“I think she’s all tuckered out from all the extra stimuli. We should probably-”

Rey pressed her lips to his. “Can we stay a bit longer? Please?”

His warm hand caressed her cheek, coffee eyes softening as he nodded. “Of course.”

Ben settled his long legs around her, leaning Rey back against his chest. Soothing fingers carded through her hair. Yes, Rey truly felt at peace.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve actually told you my plans after next week,” Rey began, picking at her nails.

“Oh? Did you want to start working now that I’m retired?” Ben hummed behind her, nuzzling her neck. “Because if you do, I think I know a company that would be _lucky_ to have you.”

Rey smiled, heart warming at the offer. "No, I meant whether I was going to stay or not."

She felt Ben freeze mid-breath. "Oh."

A part of Rey wanted to drag the answer out as a form of payback for all his nonsense the past few months, but she just could not bring herself to do it. Ben worried over her safety so much because of his guilt, dragging this out any longer would only cause more unnecessary pain.

"I just wanted to be clear that I wanted to stay together. That I'm not actually going anywhere, in case you were worried," Rey clarified, reaching up to clasp her hand over the one that had stilled in her hair mid-pet.

“Thank you!” Ben whispered against the shell of her ear. “I didn’t even think about that,” he admitted, while peppering her neck and shoulder with kisses. “I’m so glad you’re staying. Otherwise, this would have been insane," he explained, extricating himself from behind her.

As Ben knelt down in front of her, Rey's heart rammed into her chest seeing the ring, the one he had originally proposed to her with, held in his fingers. "Ben, we...we're already married. Did you really raid my jewelry box?”

“Sorry? Plus, we didn't do it right last time, and you deserve better than that. To be completely honest, I do too. We were both robbed of that walk down the aisle surrounded by friends and family. So, I want to renew our vows properly. In a church with the whole nine yards," he offered the ring to her.

“You want to marry me again?”

“Properly this time,” Ben smiled.

“With the white dress?” Rey asked.

“Yes, if that wasn’t obvious.”

“We’ve had kids. Kind of hard to try and pass me off as a virgin bride,” Rey snarked.

“Then wear whatever color dress you want - so long as it’s poofy,” Ben shrugged. “Now, are you going to say yes and take off that sham of a ring and wear the one you were always meant to?”

Rey blinked, and then gingerly took the simple gold wedding band – the one Rey herself had insisted on wearing after their trip to the courthouse, instead of the actual symbol of their love – off her finger. The gold band had never felt right on her hand. No, the one she was always meant to wear was the one he had first offered her. The one his grandmother had passed to his mother, who passed it to her. The ring she would one day pass to Cassie.

The platinum band decorated with a cluster of five diamonds shaped into a star. The ring of the Naberrie family. A part of Rey hated that she had tossed that ring back into Ben’s face that night so long ago. Watching him slide it back into place, Rey could feel that last part of herself click.

He had done this before – proposing with this very ring twice – but she had been filled with so much anger and pain she had it switched to wearing the gold band immediately after they signed the marriage license. Rey had felt disturbed to wear that symbol of love and family legacy when she had intended to leave Ben behind after the year requirement.

She had no intention of leaving now. No, Rey knew where her heart belonged. It was here with her whole family.

Pushing herself to her knees, her lips collided with Ben’s as they both crashed back down onto the blanket. She had no words for this moment. Words had often failed them. Words had twisted and turned their lives apart. Actions, on the other hand, had shown them both the truth.

As her lips danced along Ben's, Rey felt tears tracing down her cheeks. She could not discern if they were hers or those of the man she loved. Or both, probably both.

“Oh come on,” Leo pouted, “not in front of my sisters!”

Ben was the first to pull back, a brilliant smile full of crooked teeth and tears hanging on for dear life to his ridiculously long lashes. “One day I’m going to enjoy telling your future girlfriends all about how you hate kissing.”

“Good!” Leo stomped his foot, “kissing is gross.” Cassie began to whimper from her car seat. “Look, you even made Cassie cry!”

Rey stared up at the angel statue, hands clasped in front of her chest as she prayed. _Be happy and safe my littlest love. We miss you, and you will always be in our hearts. Happy birthday._

“Mama! Tell Daddy to stop being gross!” Leo cried.

Rey turned her head to see Ben grappling with her son, peppering his cheeks with kisses. Yes, this was true peace – complete insanity – and she could only hope Luna and Armitage were able to watch over them with smiles.

“Perhaps you should not always side with your father against me then, Leo,” she called back with a sugary sweetness. Picking up the car seat, she made her way back to the car. “I’ll see you boys back at the car.”

And out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw a flash of white. The wind caressed her cheek softly before dying down again. "Let's get you all settled. I think this has been enough excitement for today, Cassiopeia."

 

* * *

 

“I think she’s finally asleep,” Ben whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Rey offered him a tired smile, “She’s a night owl. It’s nearly three am.”

Ben slowly guided Rey past Cassie’s room, towards the sweet respite of sleep their bed promised. “She did take a rather long nap after we got back from visiting Luna.”

Rey made a noise of agreement as Ben began to nibble on the shell of her ear. “Careful, every time you start something, she wakes up. It’s like she knows and she’s cockblocking us.”

Ben groaned as he closed the bedroom door behind them. “I swear - this is all Hux’s doing. Somehow he’s using Cassie to interfere with our sex life.”

Rey chuckled as she flopped onto the bed, too tired to bother crawling under the sheets – or to even crawl up towards the pillows. "Considering he's the reason we even still have one at all, I think that's fair."

Rey watched with one eye as Ben peeled his shirt off and tossed it into the laundry basket. Now clad only in his boxers, he slid onto the bed and moaned. “Fuck, it feels good to just lay down on some cool sheets.”

“Mhmm,” Rey nodded, slowly beginning to drift off to sleep.

“Come here, Little One,” he cajoled, pulling her into his arms and resting her head on his chest.

Rey tried to roll away, but she was caged in by his thick arms and corded muscles wrapped in skin that was too hot for the room. "Too hot!" she complained weakly, pushing against his chest.

“Then perhaps I should just take all this off of you. To help cool you down, of course,” he teased.

"I'm too tired and hot, just hold me you giant horn dog."

“Maybe I can convince my mother to take both Leo and Cassie tomorrow so we can celebrate properly,” Ben offered, his fingers lightly tracing patterns across her back.

“You want to ask your mother to watch our children so we can have sex? Seriously?” Rey opened her eyes to squint up at her husband.

"If I tell her we're planning on working on grandchild number four, she just might take them for an entire week," Ben replied.

He was not wrong. Leia had somehow contracted an even more serious strain of Baby Fever than Ben had ever had. “We _just_ had one. I think we should wait a little while longer before adding more to the Solo Clan.”

Rey felt Ben press a kiss to the crown of her head. “Since you are officially staying, I guess there is no real rush.”

“You were right, you know,” Rey commented idly, tracing one finger along Ben’s chiseled abs.

“Oh? About what?”

“Our story. We were always how our story was meant to end. Together, as a family,” Rey elaborated, tilting her head to meet Ben’s intense coffee eyed stare.

His eyes softened, pillowy lips lifting into a smile before he placed another soft kiss to her temple. His fingers continued to dance along her skin as he contemplated something. “It is certainly a story.”

“Not one I think we’ll tell the grand-kids,” Rey advised.

“No, probably not. Maybe an abridged version?”

“Maybe?” Rey shrugged.

Ben gave her a long squeeze, which Rey returned. This was where they were always meant to be. Here together, their family with them, happy and in love. It was one hell of a journey to get here.

But that was the point, wasn't it?

What story was worth much if it wasn’t at least interesting? Their story _was_ interesting, to say the least. At least it looked like it was going to have a happy ending.

“Still, it’s not a better love story than Twilight,” Ben teased, his fingers gently tickling her ribs.

“Really Ben? _You’re_ the one that made me watch those movies. You have them on Blu-Ray for crying out loud!” Rey swatted the tickling hand away.

“They were unique!” Ben defended. “Certainly a different take on Vampire lore.”

“I am _not_ getting into an argument about the merits – or not – of Twilight’s lore with you at three o'clock in the morning,” Rey warned.

“That’s because you know I’m right!”

Rey rolled her eyes, hiding her smile into the expansive chest of the man who had – somehow – captured her heart.

No matter what trials lay ahead of them, their story was always going to lead them towards each other. They were inevitable. No matter the pain, the heartache, the trauma, betrayals, and death – they would always have each other.

“You can just dust yourself with glitter and sleep in the guestroom then! Besides, I am still Team Jacob. Werewolves are _way_ better than sparkly emo vampires!”

“You take that back!” he demanded, glaring down at her while his fingers stilled in her hair.

_Yes, definitely a better love story than Twilight,_ Rey thought to herself, though she would never let Ben know that. He might actually dust himself in glitter after that.

“Make me,” Rey challenged.

“You asked for it,” Ben smirked, holding up his fingers and wiggling them in the air.

Rey refused to take her words back, even while the man she loved tickled her mercilessly until they were both too exhausted to move. Splayed out on the bed panting, they fell asleep in a mess of limbs. Goofy grins were painted on their lips as they drifted off to slumber, intertwined like their story was always meant to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, that's right next chapter is a proper wedding for these two. I did promise a HEA.
> 
> Playlist as it stands:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt  
> ["Chasing Cars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w) By: Snow Patrol  
> ["How To Save A Life"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUqX0teEqj4) By: The Fray (Performed by: The Grey's Anatomy Cast)  
> ["The Story"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcg6cLauF3w) By: Sara Ramirez  
> ["A Thousand Years"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00%22) By: Christina Perri


	15. Thousand Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A (long overdue) wedding, and honeymoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) without you I don't know if I would have been able to complete this fic. You've kept me going even when my life was falling apart, and I can never thank you enough for that. <3 <3 <3

Rey willed herself to remain calm. After nearly a year – or six, if she counted the past – she and Ben were finally going to have the wedding they had always dreamed of. Rey smoothed the silver chiffon dress for what had to have been the fifteenth time in the last few minutes.

Her mother-in-law's diamond-studded star pins held up her chestnut waves. Leia had fussed for _two hours_ over the intricately braided crown she had weaved. The beautiful stars were arranged to match the constellations of Leo and Cassiopeia – which had taken yet another hour of fussing to get it _just_ right. Her veil was attached with twin platinum crescent moons.

Rey reached out her hand and delicately fingered one of the many pins. _Something borrowed, check._

Pale blue orchids popped among the green leaves in her bouquet. _Something blue, check._

The heavy weight of the Star of Naboo - another family Heirloom passed down from mother to daughter on their wedding day - hung from her neck. The simple platinum chain held a crystal and sapphire encrusted star that was almost as large as the palm of Rey’s hand.

_Well, that’s something old. I still need-_

“I’ve got it!” Rose declared, closing the door behind her and causing Rey to jump.

“Got what, exactly?” Rey asked while placing a hand over her heart.

Rose held out a small bottle and spritzed Rey a few times. The soft floral scent filled Rey's nose, and she sneezed on reflex. Leia, who had been sitting in the corner of the room dabbing at her eyes and holding baby Cassie, stood up and rushed over.

“Don’t mess up all my hard work. We don’t have time to redo _anything,”_ Leia chastised them as she circled Rey like a hawk, looking for any imperfections.

“I’m fine, mum. I look fine,” Rey tried to soothe the woman who had tried to usurp control of _her_ wedding from Ben. Rey would have been happy just having some small affair. Between Ben and Leia, the whole ordeal became a competition between mother and son of who had the more grandiose ideas.

Leia melted at the rarely used term of endearment – which had been the idea. "Oh, you are more beautiful than even my mother on her wedding day. You're _perfect,”_ she gushed, tilting Cassie up. "Isn't your mother as beautiful as a star herself? Yes, she is."

With her mother in law properly distracted, Rey turned back to Rose, who was covering her mouth and shaking. “What?”

“You have the entire Solo clan wrapped around your pinky, Reyrey,” the woman teased.

Rey eyed her friend up and down. “You better get into your dress, otherwise no amount of love will save you from Leia’s wrath,” she whispered.

Rose huffed, “and here I was trying to help! She should thank me, I got you your something new.”

Rey tilted her head in confusion, “the perfume?”

Rose nodded, already carefully shedding her clothes, being careful not to smudge her makeup or her own hair. "Just went on sale today. Forever by Chanel, limited time only perfume.”

"Thank you, Rose!" Rey wrapped her half-naked friend into a tight embrace.

Rose returned the embrace. “I should be thanking you, I needed an excuse to buy an expensive perfume like this,” she pulled away and shook the beautiful bottle. “I’m sure it will drive Poe and Finn crazy next time I wear it on date night. But, you got the first spray, so it totally counts.”

Rey shook her head, “I don’t understand the need for everything to be so traditional,” she shook her bouquet. “Nothing about our relationship has been ‘traditional’, and I doubt any ‘bad juju’ could manage to tear my family apart now.”

Rose shimmied into her lavender dress, the spaghetti straps slipping into place. “Zip me?” she asked, turning around and lifting her curled hair. “Don’t knock traditions, if anything your family has had enough hardships. Might as well humor them,” Rose explained, locking eyes with Rey over her shoulder as she zipped the dress shut.

"Solo, stop hovering by the door and get your behind to the altar!" Phasma's voice carried from beyond the door. After a few moments, Phasma entered, closing the door quickly behind her. "There's still time to make a run for it, Rey. I don't know _how_ you put up with that man.”

Rey chuckled, “It’s one of life’s great mysteries.”

“She is not running! They are already married, Gwendoline!” Leia huffed.

“I’ll drive the getaway car,” Rose added with a cheeky grin as she winked towards Phasma. “Car all gassed up?”

“Parked it out back just in case,” Phasma winked back.

“No, I’m exactly where I belong,” Rey flashed them all a brilliant smile.

 

* * *

 

_This was it_ , Rey thought as she stood behind the door and held her breath. When the music began to swell, and she felt the breeze on her face, she lifted her head. Leia’s garden had been draped in gauzy sheer swaths of silver and white fabrics. Paper ball lanterns hung at the ends of each row of white chairs. Icicle lights – of which Leia had an abundance for Christmas – were wrapped intricately around each chair, and all along the isle of black fabric.

All her friends were standing, some clapping, some crying, many doing both, while smiling at her. Rey’s head lifted a little higher when Han gave the hand she had placed on his arm a quick pat. “At least we’ve found a way to shut that kid of mine up.”

Rey's gaze locked onto Ben, standing in his fitted, all-black tux. Time seemed to stand still. The lone splash of color was the silver dusted rose pinned over his heart. Ben had his own braid – more old family traditions – and she found the complete look made him more dashing than she had ever seen him. It was his eyes, though, that drew her in.

If Rey ever had any doubts about how intense Ben Solo's love for her was, they were washed away by the sheer devotion, adoration, and intensity staring back at her across the garden. She watched him inhale and freeze. His jaw fell slack, and he took a step forward.

_Well, someone’s eager,_ she thought, releasing the giggle bubbling up from deep inside her soul. This was _real._ They were getting married. Rey looked over at the groomsmen and bridesmaids. The picture of Luna just to the left of the altar, and Armitage to the right, had her choking back a sob. She gripped onto Han’s arm for balance.

Now it made sense why Ben insisted they not have a best man and maid of honor. _So our friends won’t fight, he said. Clever man._

Rose and Sally - a new addition to the group of friends – she had been ‘shipping’ Rey and Ben from the moment she had been hired, and heard their story years before – and Phasma stood beside Luna’s portrait that Ben must have commissioned. All three stood in their pale lavender summer dresses, back-lit by more icicle string lights and paper ball lanterns. All the groomsmen wore black suits with lavender ties. Finn, Poe, and Mitaka stood proud beside the portrait of Armitage.

_Maybe it was alright to let Leia and Ben go all out,_ Rey conceded as she slowly made her way closer to Ben.

When she was a few feet away she saw Leo standing beside Leia, torn between beaming at her and checking on the little pillow in his hands. Luke was standing at the top of the altar. An arch stood, with Japanese Wisteria, Nicotiana, and a few Moonflowers all wound around it. The natural backdrop of the night sky truly turned the entire scene into something out of a fairy-tale.

“You take good care of her this time, Ben,” Han’s husky voice pulled Rey from the enchantment splayed before her eyes.

"I'll never leave her orbit, she's captured me, heart and soul," Ben vowed, the soft baritone of his voice dipped in wonder and awe.

Rey felt warmth radiating from his large palm as she settled her smaller one delicately on top. When his fingers enclosed around hers, she lifted her gaze to stare into his eyes – desperately willing herself not to cry.

She too was caught within his own gaze. The ceremony passed in a whirlwind, her heart thundering against her breast. Rey came out of her daze when Ben squeezed her hand.

“Rey, my heart, my sun, my own personal star," the quiver in Ben's voice nearly had Rey falling to her knees. If not for the solid grip of his hand, she may have toppled over. "You and our children mean the very universe to me, and while we may have taken the long way round, I know this was where I was always meant to be. Here - waiting for you, to be your strength, your comfort, and the keeper of your heart. I vow to always love, protect, and care for you, and our children, in this life and the next. I am yours, forever."

Rey felt the tears threatening to spill, as Leo came forward and proudly presented the pillow. A platinum band rested on it, inscribed in Ben’s own calligraphy - _My Sun._

“You look beautiful, Mama,” Leo whispered loudly, to which everyone uttered a collective ‘ _aww_ ’.

Rey tried to collect herself, but this was all too much to keep inside. Her joy shook every syllable as they left her lips. “Ben, I..." she swallowed the lump that had risen and taken hold in her throat. "I dreamed of this day for so long. The fact that we are here today proves that we have what it takes to weather any storm. I never stopped loving you, and I know I never will. I vow to be by your side, loving you, cherishing you, and nagging you," everyone, especially Han, burst out into laughter as the tips of Ben's ears burned red. "For now and forever. I am yours."

The tears of joy streaming down her cheeks in rivulets did nothing to hamper the aching grin that spread across her face. Rey watched Leo as he walked over and presented his pillow to her. As she picked up the platinum band to slide onto Ben’s finger, her son once again uttered his thoughts.

“Don’t cry, Daddy. Smile, or you’ll ruin Mama’s big day,” he declared, not attempting to whisper.

Leia rushed over and collected the small affronted Solo, not even bothering to hide her shit-eating grin.

“More like _his_ big day,” Rey mumbled.

As the ring slid into place, Ben wrapped his arms around her and purred into her ear. “Oh, the day might be for me, but tonight is all about _you,”_ Ben’s voice was thick with sin and promises.

Rey nearly melted watching the fabric stretch, barely containing the mass within. “It’s already technically night, Ben.”

“Now, really?” he whispered back.

“I did promise to nag you,” Rey offered with a sly grin.

Luke coughed, “just like Han and Leia, I swear. Now, before you two start making out in front of everyone because you just can’t _help_ yourselves...”

Rey and Ben shared a wince, remembering the time Luke and Mara had walked in on them going at it like a pair of teenagers on the living room floor; while Leia and Han had taken the kids to the park.

“You can go ahead and slobber all over your bride,” he chortled.

Twin gasps of ‘Luke!’ were drowned out by the crowd cheering as Ben dipped Rey low, threw her veil over her head, and captured her lips in a soul-searing kiss. Molding his mouth to hers, tongue searching - _dancing -_ along her own. Thick arms pulled her closer while bending her backward, holding her up by his sheer strength as her knees gave out.

Once more time stood still, and as Rey opened her eyes, she could have sworn she saw something white out of the corner of her eye. She would not be moved, as one of Ben’s hands slowly drifted down her back, to cradle her derriere. Wolf whistles from Poe and Rose over shadowed Leo’s groan of ‘gross’, and Finn’s exasperated ‘let her breathe, man.’

When Ben finally pulled his lips from hers and rested his head against her own, his eyes and voice were filled with reverence. “Worth every moment,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Rey agreed. She would not have changed a thing, not if there was a chance this would never have happened.

Notes began playing, and Ben held out his hand, desperately trying to hide his smirk. “May I have this dance?”

Rey laid her hand on top of his, relaxing into his hold as he swept her up into a waltz. “Really Ben? The Twilight love song?” Rey whispered into his ear as he pulled her close, Christina Perri belting out the lyrics over the speakers.

“It’s a good song,” he defended, expertly twirling her around.

Rey could not remove the smile that had been etched on her face since their kiss. Even with all his quirks, she adored this man. She admitted to herself - she even loved his quirks as well. "I’ll give you that,” Rey conceded as he spun her back into his arms.

“Then I’ll even admit - ours is a better love story than Twilight,” he whispered against the shell of her ear as he pulled her close, before lifting her in his arms and spinning her around in a lift that had the layers of chiffon dancing along the gazebo floor.

“Ben Solo!" Rey cried out in a half-mocking gasp, half giggle.

“I love hearing you scream my name, my sun,” he purred, before his lips crashed onto hers.

“It hasn’t even been a _day,_ Ben,” Rey reminded him, her face flushed crimson at his brazen dirty talk in front of their loved ones.

“Give her the Vitamin D, Ben!” Poe hollered across the floor.

Rey heard a thwap, and spun around in time to see Rose glaring up at Poe, while Finn was trying to hold the flailing woman back.

It would not be a Solo event without at least a few inappropriate remarks. Rey covered her laughter by burying her face into her husband's expansive chest. "There are children present," was her weak chastisement.

“That you think _that_ would ever stop Dameron is frankly adorable,” Ben purred. Rey pursed her lips and peeked one hazel eye out to glare at him. “I take it back,” he bent down to press a kiss to the side of her head. “ _That_ is freaking adorable.”

“Is that why you’re constantly pushing my buttons?”

“I’d prefer to be _undoing_ them.”

“Benjamin Solo! You are _incorrigible_!”

“You married me,” he shrugged, swaying with her to the music.

Rey let loose a strangled growl and tried to stomp on his foot. Laughter swelled around them, Han the loudest of all. “Just like our wedding, your worship.”

Leia, who was holding onto Cassie, called to Rey. “He’ll never stop!” she warned.

“I know!” Rey called back to her mother-in-law.

“Good, because I plan to love you forever,” Ben promised, pulling her into another heated kiss.

 

* * *

 

“I’ve been waiting all night to get you alone,” Ben hummed against her bare shoulder as he slowly worked the zipper of her dress down.

"Ben," Rey whined, wondering why he was taking his time now, when five minutes ago he had been shirking off his clothes as if they were on fire.

“Patience,” he whispered. “I want to savor this.”

Rey felt the fabric slide down her body, causing her body to shiver. Whether due to the cold air of the hotel room, or in anticipation, she could not decide. She tried to turn, but her husband held her still.

“Don’t move. Just – just let me _look_ at you,” his reverent words caressed her skin.

Ben circled her, taking in the silver laced lingerie she had picked out just for tonight. Rey watched as his eyes dilated, the chocolate brown giving way to a sinful black as pitch. His lips parted, and his massive chest _heaved_ with every breath. Ben’s fists opened and clenched, moved towards her, then pulled away just as quickly. His thighs shook with every careful step as he circled her. His thick cock bounced, standing at attention and already angry and red and weeping.

Rey’s mouth watered at the sight.

“Please,” she begged. Touch me, kiss me, do _something._ Her mind, body and very soul screamed in unison.

“Someone’s eager,” he taunted.

Rey had half a mind to remind him of just who was eager before. At least she was, until Ben surged forward and threw her onto the bed. Suddenly he was _everywhere._ Hands roaming her body, lips openly drinking her in, hard cock pressed firmly into her thigh as he ground himself against her.

“I’m going to rip this pretty little thing to shreds,” he warned just before she heard the fabric tearing. “I’ll buy you another, just so I can do it again,” he vowed.

Rey mewled beneath him, unable to form words to argue what a _waste_ that would be. Instead, her nails dug into his back as her lips found purchase on a nipple. She bit down, flicking her tongue against the nub.

“Fuck! Wife, I’m going to ruin you tonight if you keep that up,” Ben growled, his tone dark and heady.

Like a drug, Rey wanted more – another hit of him. Raking her nails down his back, she flicked her eyes towards his and dared him to make good on his promise. "Then I better keep this up," Rey purred back.

With a strangled roar, Ben gripped her hips hard enough to leave bruises and flipped them over. “Ride me,” he ordered, “take what’s yours, my sun.”

Rey had never felt more powerful in her entire life than she did in that moment. Poised over the man she loved, as he stared up at her like she crafted the very _universe,_ with hands that trembled as they held her hips.

Rey sunk down and _claimed_ him.

“That’s it baby girl,” he groaned. “Yes, fuck, Rey!” Ben encouraged as he began thrusting up into her.

It was all Rey could do to hold onto his forearms and meet him thrust for thrust. “Ben!” Rey cried, closing in on the edge of oblivion.

Again her beast of a husband shifted their position effortlessly, sitting up and crashing his lips onto hers. Devouring her whole, as his powerful thrusts pounded her deep. So deep, so full of _him._

She came apart above him, her cries swallowed greedily by his plush lips. Ben pulled away only to latch onto the junction of her neck and shoulder. Sucking and nibbling, laving her skin and marking her in the most primal way as his own.

Rey was not one to be outdone.

Her own lips moved to mark him, right next to his _very sensitive_ ears. She opened her lips to moan into his ear as his cock continued to slide against that wonderful spot he always managed to find. Taking the lobe between her lips, she nipped lightly, “I need you to fill me up, _Daddy._ ”

Ben’s sure and confident thrusts became pounding, frenzied – _wild_ – as he leaned forward and pressed her into the mattress. “Going to fill you so full of my come, baby girl. Going to keep filling you, fucking you, _ravaging_ you until you can’t walk.”

Idly, Rey mourned the thought of going down to the beach – for about three nanoseconds – until Ben's fingers found her clit. "Please, oh please," she begged.

“You come first, Rey. Come on my cock. Need to feel it again, how tight you get. How _wet._ Want that come dripping down my thighs while I fuck you,” he ordered.

At the behest of his sinfully wrapped words whispered into her ear, Rey could do nothing but fulfill Ben’s desires. She crested over the wave, clenching his cock, _milking_ him of every drop as he groaned his release into her ear.

Hours later they lay panting, heads precariously close to the foot of the bed in a mess of limbs. “You know, we could _try_ and visit the beach,” Rey croaked, her voice harsh from the screams and moans her husband elicited.

“Uh-uh,” Ben pouted, curling around her and pulling her against his very sweaty chest.

“Gross, Ben, take a shower,” Rey groused.

“You’re sweaty too,” he pointed out, kissing her shoulder.

“Shower, _then_ beach.”

“Nuh-uh. Shower then bed.”

“The sheets are _coated_ in all manner of fluid. Let’s go to the beach so housekeeping can at least change them,” Rey offered.

"I don't want to," her big – whining – husband tried to hide underneath a pillow. The wet stain, from when he used it to prop up her hips, was as clear as day.

“I’ll put anal on the table,” Rey sighed.

Ben was up and pulling her into the shower before Rey even had time to blink. “Let’s go!”

Ben Solo was a man of simple tastes, Rey reasoned, her ass being one of them. A sly smile curled across her lips as she stepped under the spray. Her lovable idiot had no idea they were staying at a nude beach. Marriage was about compromise, support, and love. She intended to show Ben all three.

“Slow down,” Rey warned. “The beach isn’t going anywhere.”

“Sooner we get cleaned, and deal with the fucking sand getting everywhere, the sooner I get to claim your peachy ass,” he growled, taking each cheek in hand and squeezing.

At least Ben was no longer begging her to let him impregnate her _again_. “Fine, fine. You better get used to that sand being _everywhere,”_ Rey chuckled as she pulled him down for a chaste kiss.

“Wait, why?” Ben narrowed his eyes, raising a single brow as she pulled away from his very tempting lips.

Rey just continued to laugh, a brilliant smile permanently etched onto her face. “Oh, just something I heard. The beach is rather _interesting_ , rumor has it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the Epilogue left now. It's been a long time coming, but the journey is just about over. To everyone who's read this story, I wish you the same happiness as Rey and Ben (without all the bs Drama and hardships) Thank you so much for following my ramblings up to this point. Your support means the world to me. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Complete Playlist:  
> ["Rumor Has It"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxPJiOx-FZI): By Adele  
> ["Somebody Told Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU): By The Killers  
> ["I Write Sins Not Tragedies"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc6vs-l5dkc): By Panic! At The Disco  
> ["When I Was Your Man"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekzHIouo8Q4): By Bruno Mars  
> ["Hero"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU) By: Enrique Iglesias  
> ["Jar of Hearts"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM) By: Christina Perri  
> ["Uninvited"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0%22) By: Alanis Morissette  
> ["Seven Nation Army"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2QdDbelmY) By: The White Stripes  
> ["Crawling Back To You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZIuFaFEik4) By: The Backstreet Boys  
> ["Fight Song"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc) By: Rachel Platten  
> ["Rumors"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8LAkemY-w) By: Adam Lambert (feat. Tove Lo)  
> ["Something To Talk About"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ58TVYNFro) By: Bonnie Raitt  
> ["Chasing Cars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w) By: Snow Patrol  
> ["How To Save A Life"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUqX0teEqj4) By: The Fray (Performed by: The Grey's Anatomy Cast)  
> ["The Story"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcg6cLauF3w) By: Sara Ramirez  
> ["A Thousand Years"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00%22) By: Christina Perri  
> ["I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8g6FMEXE) By: Aerosmith


	16. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last glimpse into the life of Ben Solo, and his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Heathyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/works) I'm crying right now with both pride and sadness. I'm so glad to have finished this fic, and I'm sad to let it go. Just know without you I don't know if I ever would have finished this, let alone had this fic turn out half as well as it did. You did an amazing job, my force bonded Twin <3 <3 <3

 

* * *

 

“In other news, former business tycoon and confirmed leader of the criminal organization _First Order,_ Alistair Snoke, has been denied his final appeal by the Supreme Court. You’ll remember his former niece turned on the leader of the notorious crime syndicate when he sent men to kill her. Though the brave woman suffers from paralysis from the neck down, she continues to maintain-”

Ben rolled his eyes as he shut off the television in his office. "Rot in a jail cell until they stick that needle in your arm," he sneered.

It had been five years since he had watched Snoke fall. Five years since he laid eyes on the woman that had almost ripped his entire family apart. His ex could spout whatever story she wanted, she had taken a plea deal and avoided jail time, considering her state as a paraplegic – Ben thought this punishment enough, if only to finally be able to move forward.

He scanned the various pictures on his desk. Snapshots from moments of their lives. Leo’s first day of school, his tenth birthday, winning second place in the Art Fair. Cassie and her first steps, her first Christmas, her own first day of school, not two months before. The entire family together for holidays. There was one photo front and center - his beautiful wife surrounded by their two children, once more heavily pregnant.

A smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. Rey had been completely floored when she learned she was once more pregnant with twins. He could still see the glare she leveled towards him as if he had done something nefarious. He was just virile.

She took exception to his cheek.

Despite masking her fear under anger, Ben was sure to make sure Rey took every vitamin, went to every appointment with him right beside her holding her hand. Just last month when that congenital heart defect reared its head once more, he and the team of fetal surgeons were prepared. This time appearing in both twins, Rey had been stricken by fear. As had Ben, though he remained the appearance of confidence for Rey and their children. He, too, had lost countless nights of sleep.

They had all learned from the loss of Luna. While he still mourned his first daughter, he made sure to look at the painting of her every day.

She was both his failure, and his promise.

Now when Ben looked at his own children, he knew he would never make those mistakes he had in his youth. He wanted to be there for every moment. The petty drama was not worth even a second of time with his loved ones. Such a simple concept, but the lesson was hard-learned in actual practice. _At least I was able to fix everything._

When Rey had to go under the knife _again,_ he was flooded with memories of her last time in surgery while pregnant. At least there was no gunshot wound further complicating matters. She and both twins had pulled through, and both were still on track for their delivery in two weeks.

And he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it took the entire village – so to speak – to fix the mess made. Without any _one_ of them…

Ben blinked, clearing his mind of his musings at the knock at the door.

“Daddy!” the happy voice chirped.

Ben stood up and scooped the little brunette into his arms, kissing her freckled cheeks. “Princess Cassie, welcome home. And how was school today?”

"Really good. We colored and played a bit. Then Mrs. Bucket read us a book!” the miniature Rey cheered, staring up at him with those beautiful baby blues.

“Was it a good story?” Ben asked, walking towards the door with Cassie planted on his hip.

She shrugged, then pointed towards the painting. “Will you tell me the story about you and Mommy again?”

Ben beamed, “I told you yesterda-”

“Again!” the little girl demanded, her eyes narrowing and looking so much like Hux, Ben did what he had always done when confronted with that particular look of disdain – he caved.

“Well, it all started with a beautiful star crashing into a lonely man in a – forest,” Ben began the heavily abridged tale, crossing the room to stand in front of the painting.

“Where Luna’s at, right?”

“Yeah, her and your Uncle Hux,” Ben nodded.

While it was a bit of a lie, explaining to a six-year-old that her father and half-sister were dead… that Rey and he agreed to address when she was older. Maybe when she stopped believing in Santa. Ben prayed she never stopped believing in Chris Cringle.

“And then the beautiful star and the once lonely man vowed to love each other, and their children together,” Ben finished, tears fighting to spill and his voice struggling to come out around the emotional tale – abridged as it was.

Cassie reached out to the painting, her fingers brushing along Luna’s cheek. “That’s still my favorite story, Daddy.”

Ben laughed, “mine too, princess.”

“Dad!” Leo’s shout startled the pair staring at the painting with wistful expressions.

Ben turned, and saw his eldest – and only, as of yet – son breathing heavily, face splotchy and red. “Leo? What’s wrong?”

“It’s mom. She says it’s time!” he declared, a wide grin spreading across his lips.

“The babies are coming?” Cassie cheered, clapping her hands together.

Ben stood stunned for only a few seconds before he was jogging across the room. "I need my keys. Shoot, where the heck are my keys?" Ben bellowed. "The go-bag. Where the crap is the go-bag, it was right here this morning! I triple checked! I did triple check this morning right?!"

Cassie giggled, her blue eyes sparkling while Leo grumbled and rolled his eyes. “Dad, chill out. Mom took your keys and the go-bag and is already in the car.”

Ben whirled around, eyes wide as he regarded his now very calm son. “Wait? Your mother’s in the car? But-”

“Ugh. She said you’d be like this, come on, Dad,” Leo slipped his smaller hand into Ben’s _much_ larger one and pulled him towards the garage.

Ben saw Rey sitting in the passenger seat fiddling with her phone. “Alright, in you go,” he instructed Cassie as he set her down.

“We can finally meet the twins!” Cassie cheered, buckling herself in. Ben watched her as she stuck out her hand and wiggled her fingers.

“What do you-”

"Oh fine!" Leo interrupted, handing over a five-dollar bill.

_What?_

Rey’s calm voice crashed through his thoughts. “Cassie and Leo had a running bet going if you would freak out or not. Cassie won.”

Ben blinked a few times, walking on autopilot to the driver side door of the van. He settled himself into the seat, leaned over to place a kiss on his wife's cheek. "They made a bet, and you knew about it?"

Rey flashed him a brilliant smile. “Of course. I told them you would freak out, and Leo was adamant his father was too cool to ‘act like an utter fool’,” she caressed her swollen stomach.

“Yeah. That’s for being a dork, Dad,” Leo grumbled.

“Yay! This is going in my piggy bank!” Cassie exclaimed over her brother’s complaints.

Rey reached out her hand and gave him a squeeze. "Ben, love, just drive the car."

His life was utter chaos, but in the best possible meaning of the word. Every day was an adventure, every night a dream, and altogether a life he had always yearned for - but never felt worthy of having.

As he pulled out of the garage, a sense of peace and calm and _rightness_ finally settled over him. He felt worthy of the blessings of Rey and his children.

This was always how his story was meant to end. He said that both to Rey - and more himself - numerous times over the years. Until now, there was a part of him that did not actually believe those words. As he drove towards the hospital, that part of him was shed, along with the tears that he had been fighting back.

This was his life, his family, and his happy ending.

_Finally got your shit together, Solo? Good, I’ll leave the rest to you. See you around, you stubborn wanker._ A ginger-haired blue-eyed onlooker thought before vanishing in a flurry of silver and white feathers.

Whether anyone besides little Cassie saw him, she wouldn’t ask. She waved her five-dollar prize in her brother’s face with a smug grin pulling at her lips. “Nyah-Nyah! I was right and you were wrong,” she sang.

Leo rolled his eyes and glared back at his adorable little sister. “So? Who cares.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Dad! Tell Cassie to stop being a brat!”

“Don’t you start crying, Benjamin! I’m the one in labor!”

“Seriously, Dad? Men don’t cry.”

“Muah. I kissed it all better, Daddy!”

Insanity, chaos, quirks, and all the everyday issues meant nothing in the face of his family. He would never lose them again.

“I love you, guys.”

“We love you too, but I would love you more if you would just _drive faster!_ ”

“There are speed limits for a reason, Rey-”

“I don’t give a crap about speed limits!”

“You should! They keep people safe!”

“Safe? How many traffic accidents happen a year?”

“Those people aren’t following the rules of the road!”

“You and your damned rules!”

“Mommy said a bad word.”

“Can she even get in trouble? She’s about to give birth.”

“Shhh. More money for the swear jar, Leo. We’ve almost got enough for a new game.”

"Right! Yeah, Mom swore. Totally counts."

Ben’s life was utter, insane, chaotic perfection, and he didn’t want to miss a single moment - and he would never have to.

 

* * *

 

~Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! This rollercoaster of drama is finally complete! Art commissioned by: [sunshinemoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexxmoonlight/pseuds/sunshinexxmoonlight) I can't thank you enough for that hun. It turned out beautifully. And thank you to avamarga for bringing such a beautiful creation that only existed in my head to life! I adore it! <3
> 
> Special thanks to:  
> Liv: For inspiring this fic with her amazing prompt and encouraging me to keep going, and her support  
> Liz: For being RHI's biggest fan, all her love and support while I ripped her heart out and made her cry. *hugs* Happy tears only now right? XD  
> Heathyr: For being the best damn Beta I've ever had and teaching me her ways of the Angst. I am forever her Sith Apprentice <3  
> House Dadam: not only for the collection but for feeding my Daddy/Breeder kink, and all the reactions to this angsty mess. <3  
> Everyone who left a comment: They always made my day  
> Every reader: you stuck with me and trusted me to take them on this very rocky journey of forgiveness, redemption, family, and love.
> 
> I went ahead and made and official Spotify playlist for this that can be found: [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6GC43S3MJ0QiiG6PSvytvT)  
> You can find the artist who made Ben's painting real: [here](https://twitter.com/avamarga_)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @[TheMizuPhoenix](https://twitter.com/TheMizuPhoenix)  
> I'll start posting updates there since I haven't been on Tumblr since the purge.


End file.
